Why can I talk to women online ok, but have trouble in the real world?

Question

And can someone give me advice on how to change this

Answer 1

You're cool online because there's a buffer of distance and safety that allows your self-confidence to assert itself. Now you need to go and develop your face to face self-confidence as well. Unfortunately it can only be attained through experience. (there are no classes to be had on this). Simply put: be yourself. Be cool and easy going. Approach each situation as if there's nothing riding on it. You have nothing to lose. Approach her like an old friend. This will put her at ease. Go slow. Don't rush her and read her body language as initial indicators. Does she cross her arms defensively to create a safety barrier between you two when you talk? Might want to ease it back a little and give her room. Does she lean towards you or make contact at all when you two talk and relate? This is a sign she's interested and feels close enough to you to come into your personal space with her own. Look for interest through eye contact as well. Does the time fly by when you hang out? Another good sign. Just get out there and learn through experience.

Answer 2

The only thing u can do is not to be scared in as much u are not scared when u are charting with them on-line so do the same in real life. By the time u want to talk to a lady have it mind that u can do this and give yourself an encouragement and no to be nervous they not God they are like u and if they don't want they will say no, by the time u start to practised this u will fine that is more suitable for u and that is but by the time u get one don't mess yourself up and don't be to exacted.

Answer 3

There is no body language involved, nothing visual for you to judge or be judged on. You can pretend, lie, fake anything so you chatting online is a 'safety barrier' for you. I'm not saying you'd be a fake but it makes things a little easier to big yourself up.

Talking face to face involves each party assessing the other party and depending on your own self confidence and what your self image is like dictates how comfortable you are in speaking to someone face to face. Are you possibly thinking.....do they like me, am I tall enough, what do I say? Try and pretend you know the person and that you're comfortable with them and try and be as natural as possible. Don't be too rigid.

This may be helpful or total cr@p to you...either way, good luck

Answer 4

coz online you have nothing to hold you back - no fears or inhibitions - if you get rejected online - who cares! Its not like you even know the person! I think you should take whatever communication skills you've learned online and bring them out with you.
Just be nice - ask a lady how shes doing - can you buy her a drink - compliment her outfit. Its ok to be shy, but you just gota overcome it - if you get knocked back a few times, chalk it down to experience and try again!

Answer 5

hey.. guess what?? nothing to worry about. you become too much nervous when chatting with girls in real life. may be you fear that they will reject you or make fun of your feelings ( or your appearence)behind your back... but when online you are completely anonymous... the people you chat with only know your user name or nick name,nothing more. so you dont care what they say(and you never hear it). and there's no feeling of rejection 'cuz if someone doesnt chat with you , there's always many more women to chat with.
AND IF THIS IS THE CASE I GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. i also used to take a lot of tension before chatting with girls. but then i read somewhere this :" stop worring what other people think of you , 'cuz they are busy thinking what you think of them!!" and this worked like a magic in my case.
and if you got some problem speaking clearly go see a doc.. simple as that.

Answer 6

I am the same .. its because in the internet world you can sit and consider your answer .. and hide your embarrassment whereas in the real world you have to think on your feet and cope with a serious case of the blushes, stammering etc .. dont you hate it the way it gets worse the prettier they are!!!

I am afraid the only way to get over it is to practice .. or to meet a girl who doesnt care because then it just gets better and better over time :)

Answer 7

Women online are only looking at your words. They have no physical appearance to go by and cannot judge you on that. In real life, you have physical appearances, your words, and your voice to be judged. It's much more nerve-wrecking in person because you have a bigger chance of being let down. Expressions don't lie.

Answer 8

I assume you are a young man and shy. As you mature it gets a little easier. It may seem difficult to talk to women in person, for most men it`s normal. Try to socialize with as many women as you can and listen to there conversations,you will learn alot. Remember, women are human beings and you will not always agree, just like your male friends. GO for it, and have fun.

Answer 9

2 b honest mayb on-line datin not the best way 2 go as it's not face 2 face. Sound 2 me like u need more confidence an wen u tink about it, the worst the other person can say is no!!! ( big deal it's only thats person loss) take the risk and c wat happens!?

Answer 10

Because you see their face and there body language. You stress out on what they think of you. On line if they hurt your feelings you can just kill the connection. Yo need to calm down and be yourself I know that is hard but that is the best way. Think of it that you are talking to these girls on the Internet.