when your other half goes out on the beer with his exgirlfriend and her friends and you live like 3000 miles away?
2006-09-03 23:51:57 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i am moving to be with him in the next 2 months......if i havent kicked his butt
2006-09-04 01:18:59 · update #1
well he shud respect ur feeling whether he is 3 mins away or 30 hrs away, maybe he not thinking how its effecting u inside, he needs to look at it from ur angle and see how he wud feel if u had done that same on him............................i think u got every right to be jelous hun
2006-09-04 00:02:52 · answer #1 · answered by ho2asme 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
jealousy is a very useful emotion. It reminds us that nothing is perminant, it also reminds us of our insecurities and the fear that drives us with regards to change and aloneness. It seems that your other half hasn't really thought about what going out with ex and her friends would mean to you.
To be honest, i wouldn't like it at all either. Jelously also allows us to re-assess how we feel when things become strained. There is an element if mistrust which needs to be sorted out, but it's difficult to address the feeling of jealousy. If you trust your other half then he must be thinking that this going out with ex and her pals is okay with you. The fact that you know this, and that he wasn't hiding should be an indicator that he's loyal, or he could be testing you.
Is there a chance he's needing confirmation in some way that you want to be with him and him only. Have you ever had an moment where he might have been jealous of something you have done (or assumed to have done)?
there are many possibilities, but this feeling won't go away until it is questioned. I imagine he might not be very happy if you asked him when he got back if he'd done something stupid. Just telling that you were jealous and wish you didn't have to be one way of being clear.
The thing is, if he doesn't listen to your concerns or acts up, maybe he needs close to you to explain that seeing ex's openly with her pals isn't very comforting. It really depends on where you are in the relationship. is it a new relationship or happening for years...
Why weren't you asked to come along?
2006-09-04 00:45:32 · answer #2 · answered by Stroopwafel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant see why he'd want to go out with his ex when he's with you . Did he invite you to go with him ? if no DROP HIM !!!
I've seen all the answers about trust . Yes a relationship is based on trust but when the other half decides to go on a bender with his ex then you are within your rights to question his motives .
Do the same to him and see if he likes it . The fact you are jealous shows you care about this pratt and no you are not wrong . There are however different types and levels of jealousy . The kind you are displaying in my opinion is normal in any relationship . Most people are but do not admit to being jealous as it hurts their pride so dont worry about some of the replies you get .
2006-09-04 00:26:37 · answer #3 · answered by Wily1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the type pf person who would be hurt by this as well....
You can't "check" and see what happens, what is said or done from so far away... why is there such a distance between you and when will this be corrected? If this is a short-term distance like a week or son, then I may be less fearful,,,but long term, past a month or more...I would either drop him or move there.
There simply is no closeness or trust right now.
2006-09-03 23:57:42 · answer #4 · answered by schnikey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are jealous only because You love him.
People, nowadays say that they don't want possessiveness in his / her lover.
But, I think Possessiveness, ( of Course I do not mean that possessiveness means considering your partner as a granted property) jealousy etc. is also a resultant of love. In fact love, affection etc all such sort of emotional bonds are beyond logic. If you are afraid of losing your lover that doesn't mean that your love is not based on faith and trust. But, it proves that you would never want to lose your lover.
If you are 3000 miles away and your lover is with her ex-girlfriend etc. and you are not concerned then You actually do not care about him at all. But You are not so.
Finally because of people like you...there is still real love available in this world. I appreciate you.
2006-09-04 00:13:58 · answer #5 · answered by krishnendu c 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well im sure theres more info to this here but no you have right to be this way but look at it this way if hes cheating or doing something wrong then being jealous wont stop him or change it .this will cause problems between you both and if its harmless then it could push him back to ex . you must be confadent when your away from him regardless if hes good or bad if not you need to rethink this relationship and take action .if hes cheating itll show its ugly head even if you trust him so relax .i do understand though and advise you to go out with your friends while hes away and see how he likes this . if hes jealous after defending his action then this is bad warning sign and rethinking him is a must .dont dump him unless your sure that hes cheating and dont set back and let this hurt you get out and fill your time with friends .
2006-09-04 00:21:51 · answer #6 · answered by sigmond 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you trust your boyfriend? Has he ever cheated on you before? Being long distance is hard I understand but it requires a lot of trust, communication and just knowing he will do the right thing. If you don't have that, the relationship will not work out.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-03 23:55:05 · answer #7 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No,you are not wrong. This dude is provoking
you to be jealous and there is a difference,&
even the bible says so.
proking jealousy in another person is wrong!
Give him a taste of his own meds,and do the
same only have more fun with less booze so
you don't get into any trouble.
Best wishes girl!
2006-09-04 00:24:53 · answer #8 · answered by slappingfox 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you've every right to be feeling a bit iffy about it. You should be open about it though and let him know how you feel.
If he's got a decent bone in his body, he'll then do something about it; Reduce the contact for example (Though insisting on no contact is not fair - especially if they are friends).
Long distance relationships are hard and need work. You both need to be aware of that.
2006-09-04 00:00:23 · answer #9 · answered by Felidae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally would not be living 3,000 miles away from my boyfriend. I trust my partner to go out with his friends - I would certainly be unhappy if he wanted to meet an ex-girlfriend though. This rings alarm bells.
It is difficult if you are really living that far away from him - either arrange to move closer or meet someone else who lives much nearer to you.
2006-09-04 00:37:17 · answer #10 · answered by sweetrose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be jealous too and if you have told him that you don't like the idea and why and he still is not respecting your feelings .... not wrong to be jealous if he cared about you he would want you to feel secure and... how would he feel if you were out with an ex or any man for that matter? Sounds like intuition to me not just jealousy i say run with it
2006-09-03 23:57:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋