I met this girl that I'm really attracted to but has a son.We talked a little bit about each other but stopped because she had to leave.I know she has a son (3yrs old I think) but she has never mentioned him.Should I ask her about her kid or wait until she brings it up?I know she knows that I know or at least suspects that I know,but I don't want to make her unconfortable.Please help!Thanks
PS...I really don't care if she has a kid,it doesn't bother me at all becuase I really like this girl and if you really love someone (too soon to know) you will accept them just the way they are,with kids and everything.
2006-09-03 23:40:38 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sometimes have a child, people are not willing to date you because of that fact. Bring up her son... casually and allow her to start talking about him.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-03 23:44:09 · answer #1 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
definitely, you should ask her background and family she belongs to, that will prove her character. likewise, you should also clear out your family background and the type of person you are, so that you can proceed with this kind of friendship. now, it is only attraction, this relationship doesnt have any meaning at all and will fade away as time passes. my advise to you is that just be her good friend, nothing more than that, liking a person is different from loving a person. you will soon find a life partner whom you will love throughout your life. if this girl was sincere she would have herself clarified all your doubts. the moment doubt arises, it is only for your own good, be good friends only, still long way to go. pursue your career, rather broaden your outlook and think differently. dont enter into unwanted relationship which will give you only pain.
2006-09-04 06:50:08 · answer #2 · answered by shankari n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Approach it gently... like not at the end of a date or at the beginning...
Say something like: I would like to buy your son a book on lions, but I don't know if he would like this...
or I am not sure when his birthday is.....
do NOT push further if she makes no direct response.
She may first "check you out" before she introduces her son to you. She must first feel you are going to stay and be trustworthy and loving, before she feels that you have any right meeting him.
She is currently protecting her son from possible emotional trauma or confusion, he is fairly young and may not understand the "new guy" in her life. He may still have the terrible tantrums and she is wise to keep him away from her dates for now.
You need to understand this. If the relationship endures and grows, you will meet him soon enough.
2006-09-04 06:52:39 · answer #3 · answered by schnikey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are just starting to talk to each other - and it sounds like you haven't even gone out yet - then it is perfectly fine for her not to have shared information with you about her son. She may feel that she would scare you if she brought him up, that you might ask questions she doesn't wish to answer about his parentage, or that asking about him would obligate her to introduce you to him and she might not want to involve him until she is ready to do so as a protective measure for him.
I would suggest your getting to know her better and letting her set the pace. When she is ready she will speak about him.
If you feel that you can safely bring him into the conversation, then maybe you could ask her on a picnic then casually ask if her son would like to come along? Be prepared for however she chooses to react.
Good luck.
2006-09-04 06:51:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By all means ask her about her son. The only reason she hasn't brought is up is because she she may be afraid of scaring you away. For a lot of guys this is a deal breaker. You're bringing it up will show her that you are a person of substance who is not intimidated by the situation. It will also put her at ease knowing that you except her and her child. Good job!
2006-09-04 06:45:20 · answer #5 · answered by mad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are the reason she didnt bring it up yet is cause she is worried about how you will react. You should bring it up and let her know that its fine with you that she have a kid. Let her know you want to be with her and you are going to treat her son good like he is your own. cause she is going to worry about how you are going to treat her son. Kids come first and its important you can handle the fact she already haves a son. Let her know that.
2006-09-04 06:45:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her you no and accept them as a pacage deal not enough of your kind in the world for every single mother there is a single father but you never hear of them being branded the single father i wish you all the best i hope it works out for you she might just be afraid that you wont want to no about her son a lot of guys wouldnt
2006-09-04 06:45:17 · answer #7 · answered by angel 36 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes show an interest in her son, im a mother and i know the best thing u can do is show u care for the child, most likely hes the most important thing in the world to her
2006-09-04 06:46:16 · answer #8 · answered by tinkerbell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably scared to bring it up because a lot of uncaring men probably dumped her because she has a child. Tell her you know, and exactly as you put it, you accept her the way she is, child and all.
2006-09-04 06:45:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask her about her son. Explain to her that it makes no difference to you. You still want a relationship with her. along with the cow comes the calf.
2006-09-04 06:43:42 · answer #10 · answered by Dorrie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋