Last week we made love and it was good but he couldn't wait for me to come... I waited every day for my next oportunity, and though we see eachother every day, he only found the time and energy after 1 week... And again he couldn't wait for me! I want sex more than once a week! And I also want to be satisfied. How do I talk to him without making him feel bad?
2006-09-03 22:49:32 · 23 answers · asked by camilla 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Those who say that communication is important are right, i think you need to be fair on him however, if you can spend more time together do it. If you can't then what you must do is look at the benefits of quality over quantity.
It could be possible that you are pressuring both yourself and him. orgasm is not the be all and end all of sex. Perhaps you should work on intimacy, and closeness before you do anything else.
What you have to bear in mind that the more relaxed you are the more fun you will have, in order to be relaxed you need to feel safe and to feel safe you need to trust the person you are having sex with. If your relationship has plenty of trust and your communication is good then your sex life will improve also.
Sex is also ment to be fun, if you lose that and become single mindedly focused on climaxing then you could find that it's all over rather too fast and you end up feeling unsatisfied.
You are having sex with this person, so at the very least that should go to show that you trust them. You should be able to speak to him honestly in the context of your relationship. Try not to focus on the negative, tell him what you enjoy and what he does right. Speak to him about what he enjoys and try things and talk about whether you enjoy them or not. What pleases one person another may find unpleasant, we are all different person to person so it's a deeply personal form of exporation.
you may find this website useful
http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships
have fun and take care
S
x
2006-09-03 23:08:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
All men and women have varied sex drives, also either men or women have issues about intimacy. It could depend on the age of the person, but in most relationships, talking about sex should be an easy thing to do. Sex is somehow awkward for a lot of people to talk about with their partner for some reason, back to the "issues" thing again. But not only is sex a big part of a relationship, but communication should be a priority in a relationship. You should be able to talk to him about it. I've been on both ends of this situation, and it does suck not being able to communicate and hopefully not hurt your partners feelings. I would suggest just talking to him, in a non sexual setting to begin with. Then when you have the opportunity, while you are having sex, again tell him how great he makes you feel and remind him. Repetition, sometimes is what it takes...let him know how he satisfies you and how you want to have that with him more often. Best wishes :)
2006-09-04 00:54:23 · answer #2 · answered by no_doubt! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From what I've heard from women for the past.....30 years, this is a problem that women has dealt with.....since Eve bit the apple.
The ideal situation would be to make a schedule so you two can have your time....bla bla bla....involve more foreplay....bla bla bla, but that doesnt seem to work out or you guys would've been happy with your sex lives centuries ago.
I guess it boils down to communication. Each couple is unique. What works for some may not work for others.
Experiment
They have adult stores that may have.....aids...in which may help in....getting the juices going, so that you two can finish at the same time.
I'm a guy, so that may be a bad idea, but hey, if anyone had the right answer for this ongoing problem, then it would no longer be a problem right?
Communicate, and experiment.
2006-09-03 22:57:17 · answer #3 · answered by diaz276 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a touchy subject with men. I don't know what the best way to tell him is. I would just have to tell him straight out that i wanted more sex. If that didn't work then i would dress sexier and be a tease. I mean like when your making dinner or doing laundry wear something like a short skirt or a low cut top that reveals enough but not to much, just to make him curious enough to want to take it off of you. If he still didn't respond then I would buy a good porno and a vibrator, when i knew he was going to be coming home from work i would lay on the bed and watch it so when he came in he would be so turned on that he would have to give me some. If he saw you do that it would make him think wow i don't want her to have to pleasure herself and he would do it more. Then hold out on sex with him for a couple weeks but let him catch you using your vibrator cuz that will make him feel like you really need it bad he will want to give it to you more often. I don't know sweetie. Good luck.
2006-09-03 23:06:15 · answer #4 · answered by lovemykalli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A common dilemma, and there's nothing that says he won't feel bad since men often wrap up pride and self-esteem in how they perform sexually, but you aren't doing him any favors by not telling him. That's probably the mistake the last woman made and now you are left to correct him.
Just explain to him what it takes for you to finish and where the problem is, he will either work on it and the sex will improve or he will take your talk the wrong way and you will get the not-so-subtle hint that you are with the wrong guy for you.
2006-09-03 23:11:40 · answer #5 · answered by live2ride 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there is no easy way to say things like this to your boyfriend. He will inevitably feel bad anyway. But it is really important that you make him aware of your feelings. Probably he is of the idea that you don't want sex every so often and that is why he is acting that way. Also, you need to explain that for YOU, it is important to finish the "event" satisfied, that you need to feel complete as a woman. Also tell him that it is not necessarily for you to come once, but you can do twice, thrice, etc. etc.
Luck!!!
2006-09-03 23:02:53 · answer #6 · answered by Sesoid 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the kindest way you can. But he will feel bad. You still have to tell him. You have every reason to want sexual satisfaction in a relationship. If you put up with it for long it is likely that the relationship will go sour in the end.
There is also no reason for you not to start sex. Why don't you do that? You might find that he loves it.
2006-09-04 00:01:42 · answer #7 · answered by iamalion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you like what he is doing even if he is not doing it right and offer suggestions as to what would really get you going.
Complements will make him feel good and you will be able to educate him!
As for making it happen more often - create time and a good atmosphere, maybe it won't happen every time you try at first but with patience you can surely increase the frequency.
2006-09-04 05:04:03 · answer #8 · answered by advent m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be honest. or tell him what to do. guide his hands to where u like it, he'll learn eventually. not every man is born with the intelligence to know how to make a girl orgasm. Also, why do u wait for him? why not just pin him down and give it ur best. if he still says 'no i havent got the energy' then theres something wrong there to be honest. I was the same i always waited for him to come onto me but in the end all he was waiting for was for me to take the lead. you never know he might like it. :)
2006-09-04 00:54:49 · answer #9 · answered by Miss_Mort 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem with my guy. I simply asked him one day, is it necessary for the girl to come, and he said well if she wants.. and i told him, that i would like him to wait next time to actually wait for me to come. He agreed, sadly, we havent as yet had a chance to make love. But you should just ask him one day, get all turned on, tlk a little dirty and then pop the question !
2006-09-03 22:52:17 · answer #10 · answered by F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋