I finished with my boyfriend 6 months ago for a number of reasons. We were together for 6 years. He keeps phoning me really upset, crying, begging me to take him back. I dont want to take him back. I dont love him anymore but It really hurts and upsets me when I hear him upset. I dunno what to do. I dont like him being upset, it makes me feel horrible for ending it but I want to move on.What do I do in this situation???
2006-09-03 22:05:19 · 31 answers · asked by XCuteX 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind
2006-09-03 22:07:25 · answer #1 · answered by Senorita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change your phone number asap. or delete his messages and don't listen to them. Also tell him that you will no longer be listening to them. Or somehow block his calls. If he can contact you then he still has an audience.
If he continues like this he maybe needs some help, as in counseling.
I had similuar exoerience and the man had NO idea that this behavior made him very undesirable. It made me very sure that I had done the right thing.
I am glad you can stand firm.
I can tell you don't want to hurt him...is there anyone who you can commuicate with and express your concerns about his obcession with this?
You can get a restraining order, but I imagine that would upset him more.
Stand firm and pray that he can put this behind him very soon. It isn't healthy for him to be upset for this long.
2006-09-04 05:23:25 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rule number 1, you have to put yourself first - it's your happiness and well-being that count here.
If you don't love him anymore then there would be no point whatsoever in getting back together, not least because it wouldn't be fair on him and I get the impression you don't want to hurt him.
If you are able, I'd change your 'phone numbers. If this isn't practical then the next time he calls you need to be firm and strong and tell him that it just isn't going to happen and if he keeps bothering you then you'll have to take action to stop him.
2006-09-04 05:08:55 · answer #3 · answered by frontera2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you!I am in exactly the same boat as you are!Its awful isnt it.I too hate him being upset and the fact that he constantly reminds you of how depressed he is and how much he misses you makes you feel awful.Its even worse when they are areally nice guy and didnt do any thing wrong but you just fell out of love with them.I wish i could give you some advise but i really dont no how to handle it myself.So i just wanted to say that dont worry you arnt alone on this one and that i no how you are feeling!Sometimes we just have to think about making ourselves happy and not always worry about other people.I no its hard.
Good luck and i hope for both your sakes that this gets sorted out x x
2006-09-04 05:55:20 · answer #4 · answered by jo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Snap i am in the exact same position as you its horrid, try and talk to him and remind him why your not together any more. There must have been good reason to end a 6 year relationship, ask him to calm down not get down and move on this isnt doing you or him any good. Good luck know how you feel x
2006-09-04 05:29:34 · answer #5 · answered by dizzymooo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's shooting for the "guilt" factor in you. He knows it upsets you when he calls you and he's upset, so he's using that to make you feel guilty so you'll take him back.
If you really don't want him back, refuse to talk to him. Tell him to move on with his life, because that's what you're doing with yours, then don't talk to him any more. A clean break is easier on both of you than dragging the ordeal out.
2006-09-04 05:10:39 · answer #6 · answered by Lucianna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel hun, I finished with my x 8 months ago I was with him for 5yrs had a house together. I moved on, change your number I know it's hard but you have to be cruel to be kind get out move on life is too sort to keep worrying what has happened and what you did he will move on.
2006-09-04 05:24:47 · answer #7 · answered by saucey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so he be crying like bo ho ho take me back I'm sorry baby? For him the best thing to do and walk away like I did I gave up trying to get my ex lady back because she likes thugs and thats all she will ever get with is a thug so I bounced and when things go wrong she call me lets get back together not anymore she better go get a thug after all thats all she wants. Your man best option is to move on because it's always a person for you I learned that me I'm loving just dating a gang of women right now **** a relationship I rather do like fred williamson does date a gang of women and have fun atleast I'm honest to the ladies like I be like baby I don't want a relationship lets just kick it and if we do something lets f--- but it will be protected sex though because I don't want no Hiv or Aids or any other disease.
2006-09-04 05:13:22 · answer #8 · answered by southernbound 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really know it is over you are doing both of you right by not stretching out the break up. Tell him you don't want to talk to him for a while. It is important that you share your feeling with someone like a counselor, a good friend or clergy.
Good luck.
2006-09-04 05:10:08 · answer #9 · answered by San Diego Art Nut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the 1st thing u do is stop letting him do that to you, if you must then change ur number and dont give him it. You finished it for a reason and thats it. Tell him your sorry, but its for the best, and he will find another person soon and that you hope for all the best for him
2006-09-07 13:25:26 · answer #10 · answered by mr_scotsguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are sensitive to the feelings of others, it is therefore painful for both of you. If you've told him you don't love him anymore and take him back things will never be the same again and neither of you will be really happy. You have got to be strong and stand firm, it will be better for you both in the long run.
2006-09-04 05:41:24 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋