i luv mum n dad 2 bitz but i feel kinda stiffled n want 2 b financially independent.u think i should leave em as i think they'll b hurt.
p.s would luv 2 have advice frm ppl who have kids themselves
2006-09-03 21:54:07 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
cant u be with them & b financially independent too? that way they woudlnt b hurt would they? And if u still hav to leave i think u better talk to them, who else would understand more!
2006-09-03 22:00:39 · answer #1 · answered by sree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most parents expect their children to be financially independent at some point in time. I have a 22 year old and 19 year old. I love them both dearly and would keep them up until the end of time if they needed it, however I feel that they and myself would be happier once they get out of college to move on with their lives. Of course live within at the max an hour away. Even though they are my children and I have raised them the best I know how to do, we still get on each others nerves from time to time. They are their own person as I am mine. Its difficult for 4 adults to live in the same house all the time and get along. We each have different views, ideas and since they have had their freedom in college, I still have my curfew rules just because I think its respectful to come in at a decent hour. (so i wont worry ) They dont agree, but I do pay the bills here. I think your parents will miss you and be hurt in that respect, but surely they do not expect you to live with them until they are gone do they? Just talk to your parents about what your plans are. Give them time to get used to the idea. Surely they will understand the importance of wanting to be independent. Good luck.
2006-09-04 05:09:31 · answer #2 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being financially independent is fine, but if you really want to leave make sure you don't have any issues left with them, as in any emotional wrangles or residues of past hurts unresolved, as they will follow you where ever you go, into your work and personal relationships.
So first learn to stand up and breath for yourself, within that home and then feel free to walk out when ever you want, the difference would be, in the first case you would walk out with lot of grace and gratitude for having learnt all the lessons you were supposed to learnt from and through your parents as they are your first teachers and in another case you would have escaped without having really faced your fears and emotional blocks.
Part of being a parent, is to experience the joy of seeing your kids grow wings.
2006-09-04 07:44:48 · answer #3 · answered by Abhishek Joshi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not talk to your parents and get their views? As with others, parents are human beings and they vary in their views and opinions. Your parents will definitely encourage you to be financially independent. However, you can still be financially independent whilst staying with them, can't you? You can pay them for your lodging and expenses as if you are on your own, without leaving them if you want to.
Once your parents are confident that can also take care of yourself, not just financially, you can be sure that they will support your decision. Let them know sincerely and honestly why you need to be living by yourself or away from their house.
One good reason is that you need to prove to yourself that you will be able to take care of yourself. Promise them that you will visit them regularly, because you love them, if you have decided to leave them.
2006-09-04 05:20:40 · answer #4 · answered by G.T. L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive got 3 kids and although i luv them it would be good to see them set up on their own. im sure your parents wont be hurt just a bit nervous for you thats all.and im sure they will come and visit every 5mins. the fact that your thinking of moving out is just proof that you are ready to fly the nest and remember you can always return
2006-09-04 04:58:05 · answer #5 · answered by sleepwalker69 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋