Im really worried that i dont please him in bed?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months, and I am really worried that im not good enough in bed. His ex was very confident and experimental, im just not, im very shy. I want to try new things but find it really hard because im worried I will get it wrong or not be as good as her.

Answer 1

wow, he must be a lucky guy! don't force yourself. be natural. there is no right or wrong in experimenting. it is just finding out ways which both of you would enjoy. forget about the ex. as long as you think of her, she will always be dark shadow in your back. remember, you are a unique person and should not be compared to anyone else. good luck & enjoy.

Answer 2

I feel the same way. My baby is almost 5 months old. I work full time and go to school, and my husband does too, so I feel bad when I go to bed at night and wonder if I spent enough quality time with her that day. From the time I pick her up from the babysitter until I start her good-night routine, I only have about a solid 1.5 hours with her and sometimes I have to do things like bills during that time. I have made a rule that I do not do any homework until after she goes to bed. Anyway - what I do with her while she is awake - I will rotate her from toy to toy until she gets mad - the jumpy, the playgym, etc. Then I hold her on my lap and I sing to her, I play peek-a-boo with her, and I pull her up onto her feet (she's really strong on her feet) and I sit her back down - like exercising. I know it's hard because sometimes the last thing I want to do is play,but then I think about my baby and want to give her everything I can.

Answer 3

From a mans point of view, by worrying about her, you could be defeating yourself. If your boyfriend is happy with you but you are not happy with you, now how much sense does that make???

He may not be smart enough to figure it out, but he will feel something is wrong, and if you lose him, it will not be because of her, it will be because of you allowing her to win by default.

Now I am sure you are smarter than that.

Just be yourself and remember, he will not love you because you can be like her, he will love you because you are confident enough to be like yourself.

Bottom line is, I think the confidence factor carries more weight here than the experimentation factor.

Just be original and do your own thing and you will be the winner.
You trying to duplicate her, will be your undoing and you will wind up putting her back in bed with him and you wouldn't want that to happen, now would you?

Now go do the right thing.

Darryl S.

Answer 4

Don't think about the people that were before u because you can never be someone else. He with you know that counts. She could not have been all that if they not still together. Your best is all you can do and it is the only thing that matters. If he not satified then screw him u are not every women or super woman you are u. What u need to do is become more comfrotable with him. maybe talk to him express your feeling then you will gain more confidence and wont be so shy. i'm the same way at time shy as i want to be. you have to say to yourself "i got this he my man and i going to make him happy with me" don't worry about any one else.

Answer 5

first of all, stop competing with her ... he is with YOU not her, so there is more to a relationship than the bedroom. you have to be true to yourself and your own values ... ther is no such thing as right or wrong in bed ... if the relationship is good, the sex is good .. communication is the key, discuss how you feel about experimentation and other bedplay with your boyfriend. if he is not willing to stay within your comfort zone, then maybe he is not the boy for you ... in a loving relationship, couples are considerate of each others feelings and do not try to force their partner outside of their comfort zone by threats or guilt trips or by comparing them to former lovers ... if he is doing any of those, dump him, he is just using you.

Answer 6

It sounds to be you guys rushed into sex to fast. Your not on his level yet. It seems to me there may be more than just a sex problem going on here too. This is something you need to talk to him about. I'm sure he will say your as good or better than his ex and love you blah blah blah, but you need to get him to really help you out. If trying new things isn't something you feel comfortable with then don't do it. Save it for someone else.

Answer 7

I think you are focused on SEX rather than making love.
The former is a process, the latter a relationship.

You should think seriously about what you want in your relationship with your bf... Sex or love.

Let's assume you want love, then this issue doesn't matter does it? Cause when you're making love, you both will try things that work to satisfy him, or him to satisfy you and eventually both of you. So let's not worry about it. Focus on developing a truly fulfilling experience with you beau.

Answer 8

Don't worry about if you measure up to her or not. Obviously your way better because he's with you. Just try to be more open in bed and let go of your inhibitions. Try new things in bed, If you don't feel comfortable doing something or don't like doing it then don't.

Answer 9

u shouldn't be worried about his o. u should be waiting for urs. like a gift from him to u. if "he's THAT good". ELOL. as long as u feel good whatever u do or he does, u just let it ride. for the most part guys like to take control. that's part of the pleasure. new things just happen. n don't be shy to say no when it gets somewhere u don't like after all. shouldn't do ANYTHING unless U want to. n ex's are ex's **** em. unless they're "in" the picture, they shouldn't be a problem. get ur's girl -~* !!

Answer 10

Hi girl for get about how good his ex is.its all about how good your going to get and if you go the right way about it you will be better then her. so come on girl sit him down and tell him what is worrying you.and when that is out of the way.don't just sit their looking at each other like love birds get the feathers of and get pecking each other.so what if you get it wrong your partner my get it wrong as well with all of the pecking.And get the baby oil out and get exploring the places of the human body.And show him that you are the p***y cat and his ex is the kitten.good luck.FROM THE HALIFAX BABA.