I suffer from anxiety and depression, so I have a hard time with every day life, much less the wedding plans. BUT her finance's family is being so great - buying her dress, cake, flowers, etc. I really feel left out, but know in my condition I can't do much. I live 12 hours away, they live closer. THEN within a month my daughter and son-in-law will be moving in with his parents. I am very happy for them, but extremely sad for me!
2006-09-03 21:36:27 · 15 answers · asked by lorna56dave 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Well, I can give you a little of a daughter's point of view.. I am Honduran and got married to a Swiss man, and we decided to move to Switzerland, I am an only child, and that was really hard for my parents to deal with, I saw them constantly sad, that I was leaving, we have a great relationship, and they have a wonderful relationship to my husband.. who had living at our house for 9 months in the last year, planning the wedding.. I was going through a whirlwind of emotions, and it was really hard on me to see my parents sad.. they were very supportive, and happy that I was getting married to a great guy, but sad because I was leaving.. the moral of the story is that maybe your daughter is subcontiously leaving you a little out of the picture because she can't handle anymore of the emotional stress.. Try being completely positive, only showing your positive and happy emotions, and being a support for her.. she will be really greatful to have such a loving supporting mother when she is taking such a huge step in her life.. and chin up.. all you have to be is positive.. she doesn't mean to hurt you.. on the contrary, maybe she thinks that the wedding stuff is getting to you too much.. I'll pray for you..
2006-09-03 22:43:04 · answer #1 · answered by verito 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's only concerned for you. As long as she includes you in her plan, you need not get anxious or depressed, esp in your condition. Learn to take things easy and not try to put a reason behind everything. If opportunities arise, then do whatever you can to lend a hand. If not, don't fret. Just enjoy her wedding. Wish her well. Give her your blessings. Give her a hug! Buy her wedding gifts. And keep telling yourself to smile. Be happy.
Stay in touch with her after the wedding. But within her comfort zone. Don't impose. If you feel a bit lonely, get pets like dogs. Join a club. Make friends. Form a mini community of your own.
As long as she is happy, you don't have to do anything extra. Sometimes the less you do, the better both parties will grow closer together. It's the irony of life.
Good luck.
2006-09-03 21:48:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand how you could be feeling left out in this situation. Is there something special you can contribute? It does not need to be something that costs, perhaps some very special words written in a card or letter to your daughter and/or the couple to be.
Also, I have known some couples that have moved in with parents and it has never worked out. There will be a lot of friction. Consider it a blessing that you will not be a part of this (when it happens).
As the saying goes, this too shall pass...
2006-09-03 21:42:14 · answer #3 · answered by suzanne 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be strong and no need to be sad. Don't let this feelings upsetting you. Be happy for her and give her your blessings. Accept what you can do so much for her. Attend her wedding and let her know that you love her and always be there for her. The mother's love is the greatest love of all. This is a real life. You have done your part for being a good mother so just be happy and nothing to be sad.
2006-09-03 21:45:58 · answer #4 · answered by Rod 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you are better off. wedding plans aren't fun and if you struggle with daily life, helping out with this could just send you through the roof. maybe you could talk to your daughter and maybe there is a little job you could do, like getting the center pieces put together. a nice craft could be just what the dr ordered. my family didn't get to really participate in my brother's wedding, but we did center pieces and those little snack bag thingys with those yucky almonds....so we were involved in a tiny way. so maybe that is something you could handle? good luck and congrats!
2006-09-03 21:53:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats a tough thing,you should just stay positive,trust me your life will change but it wont be over,it will hurt for the first few weeks but I know after its settled down things will begin to take a new life of thier own and something new will challenge the day
2006-09-03 21:44:08 · answer #6 · answered by stygianwolfe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they are probably so caught up in everything that they havent realised how your feeling so dont be offended what you have to do is call her and tell her that you would like to help out in some way even if its just a small thing if your not feeling too well. but try not to be too down as you might put a dampner on her big day
2006-09-03 21:39:29 · answer #7 · answered by sleepwalker69 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can try asking if they need any help with the plans. If they do need anything, just try doing the best you can to help them. If they are fine, then just say that you're always there for them.
AND there's always yahoo! answers to keep you occupied if you're bored =)
2006-09-03 21:49:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she should still ask you to do little things that you could cope with. Maybe you should ask her if there are any smaller things that you could assist with?
I feel sad for you too.
Chin up lovely lady!
2006-09-03 21:40:52 · answer #9 · answered by cheeky_beth_62 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that every mother feels like you in that moment when they must let there little girl go away ...
2006-09-03 21:39:13 · answer #10 · answered by momithesnake 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋