He had a fling a few weeks ago and now I have twice found that her number has been rung from our home phone but he totally denies it, says the phone is malfunctioning. Also I was having trouble logging onto the internet but when he tried it was fine, when he was out I realised he had unplugged the modem, so I plugged it in and the computor connected, I left it unplugged before he came home, and this morning said I was having trouble again. He connected ok and I checked, and the modem was plugged in again. He denied this too and said I was going crazy. Is there a condition which would make him do this? Has he had a breakdown? Please help.
2006-09-03 21:14:48 · 40 answers · asked by good tree 6 in Health ➔ Mental Health
ok,
well at the risk of getting negative votes I would say to try and stick it out.
You married this guy and its not just a casual relationship, so there must have been something there once.
He is acting very negatively, but that doesn't mean that it can't be resolved. Maybe he's having stress at work, with his buddies, or maybe even with you (hopefully not though.)
The reason why he went to someone else (I would guess) is basically because he might think he can't tell you his problems.
So, being really loving and extra patient/forgiving might be a good option. If it's his first time he's doing this, if you handle it well enough he will hopefully realise his mistakes and with a lot of work you might be able to sort out the issues that you both have.
Maybe you were right and he's had some form of breakdown... just try to resolve it rather than running away from it and dumping him...
2006-09-03 23:17:35 · answer #1 · answered by harry_the_monk 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have physical evidence that her number was dialled from your home, you are not crazy but your sh*t of a husband clearly is. I would phone the girls number myself and try to have a chat with her - no anger though, see where it led. The only thing malfunctioning is your husbands mind. You say he had an affair just a few weeks ago, how did you find out and why are you staying? He is totally trying to manipulate and control you. Not to mention drive you crazy. Have you any close family or friends you can confide in about all of this? Get some support and either get out or get him to admit all the things he has been doing. Good luck and try to keep an note with dates/times that these things are happening in case you need to refer back to them at a later date. Keep a copy of the phone bill also. What a terrible situation, I hope it works out for you.
2006-09-03 21:26:33 · answer #2 · answered by rondavous 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, he is so guilty about his little fling, and the fact that he is still calling her that he is wound up like a clock. Your phone did not malfunction. Sit him down and tell him, and forgive me but I am assuming you are still in love with him, and tell him in no certain terms, that 1. You are not stupid, you have eyes, and ears, and you do not believe his lies, and his attempted cover up. 2. You can forgive his little fling one time, but it is over. 3. You want to know what ever made him seek the affections of another, and what you can do TOGETHER to overcome this apparent (in his mind) inadequacies to assure this does not happen again. Perhaps it was a one time fling, the seven year itch, or whatever he chooses to call it. Remind him as my Grandma used to say, "Whatever is good for the Gander, is good for the Goose." Chin up,be strong and firm, and remind him of all you have together, and you hate to see him jeopardize this for a casual fling. Good luck.
2006-09-03 21:29:10 · answer #3 · answered by stevensings20032001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to put the computer away and start making up loss time,perhaps attending a "relate" session.He needs to sit down with you and have a face to face chat..and change his mobile number..a fling is not something he can just shrug off..an affair destroys trust and is very demoralising..i cannot say enough on the subject..he needs to grow up and see what he is about to loose..it is only through tempatation and selfishness that he has committed this affair and he should be going over the top to correct things and working hard to get your trust back...he must forgive himself.
2006-09-03 21:30:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but how much of a sucker are you? So your phone dials out all by itself does it? You really believe that...?
Look, he's been caught playing away from home, and he's still doing it although trying to cover his tracks now....
No, you're not crazy other than for swallowing the cr@p he is feeding you. The condition he has got for doing this stuff is called... lying, cheating b@stard, a common condition amongst men.
2006-09-03 21:22:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he's had a breakdown. I think he's probably afraid that you might try get your revenge on him by meeting somebody else and having a fling to get back at him. What an ar*ehole - any body deserves better than a husband who tries to mess with your head and tells you you're going crazy...
2006-09-03 23:48:49 · answer #6 · answered by pinklady23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this but many of us have been there, done that! He is still cheating on you - and doing this because he doesn't want to leave you yet. He wants to have his cake and eat it too!! You will realize this only when you are ready to do something about it. Until then, YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!!! You need to face the facts soon though or you will be!!
2006-09-03 21:25:36 · answer #7 · answered by swim32 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A lot of guilty guys do this..he hasn't had any breakdown..he is just guilty as heck and trying to 'play' you...many men use the old, 'you're the one who is crazy ' bit to cover their actions. because he wants his cake and eat it too....you make sure you let him know you are on to him...and tell him you are crazy like a fox....and that you might be going to see an attorney soon, not a shrink...poor baby
2006-09-03 21:20:03 · answer #8 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He hasn't had a breakdown love, he's cheating on you! Men who cheat come up with the most stupid excuses and things they say and of course he will never admit to any of it. After all he's scared of getting found out again!!!!
2006-09-03 21:26:17 · answer #9 · answered by nicoled2408 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
no babe the only condition he has got is being a total liar,he is mentally abusing you, he will make out your losing it and keep telling you must of been mistaken, you got it wrong its your fault etc etc he will grind you down and make you poorly eventually.
he is totally deceiving you and i really wouldn't trust him at all, my only advice would to be is get out now, and leave him to his lies
he's not had a breakdown , he is hiding something from you and making you feel bad
all the best
2006-09-03 21:28:27 · answer #10 · answered by ♥fluffykins_69♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋