Im Catholic, my wife is "Church of Christ" (Not Boston Church of Christ!), to compromise we got married in a neutral wedding venue with her minister presiding. Her father never came because he wanted her to marry someone from his "own" church. Is that screwed up? Am I right to feel insulted..I treat his daughter like a queen!!!
2006-09-03 20:41:06 · 9 answers · asked by hoarfen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
As my dear departed mother in law used to say "you can't fix stupid". Blow it off and ignore him. He gave up seeing his daughter on her wedding day. He's a mean spirited hateful man. You don't need that in your life.
2006-09-04 17:52:56 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah you should be insulted, the man made it perfectly clear that you did not have his blessing to marry his daughter. Here's the good news, you don't need his blessing. Sure it would have been nice, but you married the woman of your dreams, and whether or not the family likes you is just the icing on the cake. As long as your new wife shares your feelings about her father's lack of respect and love for the both of you, you'll be ok. That means she chooses you over her father. I would not bother with him, until he appologizes and makes an effort to make amends. Just because he is your wife's father does not give him the right to disrespect you both, and hurt your feelings. You must move on and put your efforts into your marriage now, because your family from now on begins with the two of you...
2006-09-03 20:48:32 · answer #2 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can understand how you feel. You ought to know that we are not in control of the behaviour of others and they are free to take action according to their beliefs, as long as their actions do not affect us.
In your case, why let it affect you? So he's not present at your wedding. Did this stop you from marrying your wife? Is your marriage recognized legally?
Do not be too hung up with what has passed. Learn to forgive and forget and you will live a much happier and healthier life. What's important for you now is to ensure that your marriage is successful, by being sincere and honest with your wife. Make sure that you care for her and keep to your church vows. The only way you can change the old man's views about you is to prove him wrong! Don't give him any good reason to, one day in the future, tell your wife that his objections of you are justified!
Can you do it?.
2006-09-03 21:34:20 · answer #3 · answered by G.T. L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be the bigger man and forgive him. This isn't worth fighting over. When you both have kids, you will need to decide how to address the church issue. When you both have kids, your FIL is going to annoy you to death.
Be there for your wife. Make sure her relationship with her father is gone. You need to be there for her not hold the grudge for her. It's great that you treat her like a queen, and it's great that you were able to enjoy the day. However, it's not your fight.
You love your wife, and don't want her to hurt. That's great. This is her father. Her relationship. You need to let her work out the issues between them.
2006-09-04 05:07:16 · answer #4 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is her father's loss. I assume he will be interested if and when he has a grandchild or will his religious beliefs prevent him from attending some service that is not in his church. Don't feel insulted. I think you wife was hurt by her father's prejudice.
2006-09-03 20:52:54 · answer #5 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is screwed up. I know how you feel. My husbands father did not come to our wedding because he had a doctor's apt. I think you both should be offended. Don't let it eat you up though. Just remember that he missed out and now he has to live with that decision.
2006-09-03 20:47:40 · answer #6 · answered by Hope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's unfortunate that your wife's father wasn't able to celebrate the marriage. Sadly, that doesn't bode particularly well for your (and your wife's) ongoing relationship with him.
You're right to be upset, but you'd be better off trying to figure out a way to improve the relationship with him. It's better to be happy than right, after all.
2006-09-03 20:46:20 · answer #7 · answered by Andy G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-06 08:51:48 · answer #8 · answered by bailem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is all too common. In fact, my uncle did this very thing with his daughter. He & the SiL ended up being VERY good friends.
2006-09-04 02:55:39 · answer #9 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋