The first one to send a reply that makes me laugh or smile will get a top answer.
Laters
2006-09-03 20:18:22 · 11 answers · asked by Chris O 3 in Education & Reference ➔ Quotations
Morning sexy, I've got no knickers on.....
2006-09-03 20:20:56 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So there are three guys walking down the street and God suddenly comes before them and says that they are going to die. Of course they all freak out because they don't want to die and that is when God gives his conditions. They already know they are going to die but now they have to worry about going to heaven or hell. So God says, "If you can make it for 24 hours without committing your ultimate sin than you will go to heaven." They all pondered this, accepted it and tried to do the best they could. I haven't given you details on the said three guys but it's an italian, a jew and a gay. So they are all walking down the street, trying to make it the 24 hours when they pass an italian restaurant. Well the itialian guy's ultimate sin is that he was a gluton and he couldn't take it anymore, ran into the restaurant, ate all he could and went to hell. Well this empowered the jew and the gay because they really didn't want to go to hell. So they walked and walked and walked. It was the 23rd hour before they would enter the gates of heaven and the wind blew a dollar before their feet. The Jew bent down to pick it up and they both went to hell. Enjoy! Hope I helped the Monday Blues!
2006-09-03 20:27:37 · answer #2 · answered by caroline 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God looks down on the Earth and the mess man has made of it and decides enough is enough. He calls up Tony Blair, Vladamir Putin and George dubyah Bush. When they arrive he tells them,
'You are the most important men in the world. I have decided to destroy it tomorrow and start afresh. Go down and tell your people.'
When Tony gets back to Britain he tells everyone,
'I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there is a god. The bad new news is He's going to destroy the world tomorrow.'
Putin arrives in Russia and says,
'I've got some bad news and some even worse news. The bad news is there is a god - we've been wrong for years. The even worse news is He's going to destroy the world tomorrow.'
George rushes back to his office and tells everyone,
'I got some good news and some great news. The good news is there is a god. The great news is He thinks I'm one of the most important men in the world!'
2006-09-06 00:39:20 · answer #3 · answered by Helen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy
with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher
says to the guy with a Chihuahua, 'Let's go over to
that restaurant and get something to eat.'
The guy with the Chihuahua says, 'We can't go in there.
We've got dogs with us.'
The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, 'Just follow my lead.'
They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman
Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk
in. A guy at the door says, 'Sorry, mac, no pets allowed.'
The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, 'You don't understand.
This is my seeing-eye dog.'
The guy at the door says, 'A Doberman Pinscher?' He says, 'Yes,
they're using them now, they're very good.'
The guy at the door says, 'Come on in.'
The guy with the Chihuahua figures, 'What the hell,' so he puts
on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.
The guy at the door says, 'Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.'
The guy with the Chihuahua says, 'You don't understand. This is
my seeing-eye dog.'
The guy at the door says, 'A Chihuahua?'
The guy with the Chihuahua says, 'You mean they gave me a Chihuahua!?'
2006-09-03 21:50:12 · answer #4 · answered by VelvetRose 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its monday youre at work Im at home its 3:30 am and I cant sleep...so smile and think...that there are some worse off then you
* licks your cheek and runs away*
2006-09-03 20:27:07 · answer #5 · answered by imjustme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
two gold fish in a tank, one says to the other..."do you know how to drive this thing ? "
Whats the biggest draw back in the jungle.....An elephants fore skin.
What do you call a japanese car thief.......Tommitookamoatta
What you call an egyptian taxi driver........Tootankimoot ( as in toot the horn and come out )...i'm scottish by the way lol
a bhuddist ran into a cathederal and shouted " priest, priest....my karma just ran over you'r dogma"...lol
2006-09-03 20:36:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send your colleagues dirty jokes so they'll all start laughing, just as your boss walks through the door.
2006-09-03 20:25:06 · answer #7 · answered by Rox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
... perhaps you'd be kind enough to mention me to the boss. Sounds like a cushy number to me!
2006-09-03 23:33:32 · answer #8 · answered by Headcase 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm... For me its labor day. I don't go to school. I think you should protest to get labor day established where ever you are!
2006-09-03 20:23:49 · answer #9 · answered by kitt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
morning sexy, I've got no nickers on and I'm on my way to your office.
2006-09-03 20:31:50 · answer #10 · answered by neogriff 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋