What would you do if you felt like your family treated you like an outsider, I’m not rich, they don’t like my husbands life & job choices, (he a Christian & security guard) they think my kids are heathens, (because no matter what I do they don’t listen to me) but they wont help me, even when I ask for help. We are poor; they are well off & can do & spend all they want. My parents look at me as a failure because I’m not as successful or educated like my younger siblings (I’m the oldest) they involve each other in stuff, but not me. My sister has kids and so do I, she can dump her kids off to have fun, I cant. I went to a family birthday party and when introducing people no one introduced me to them. I’m not fat or ugly. I’m not dirty or rude. Many times I feel they treat me bad just because my husband can’t afford for us to live like they do. Even when he tried to succeed and fails at it that all they see. i feel only if i dovorce him would they care. i wont do that to suit them.
2006-09-03 18:41:48 · 23 answers · asked by angelchele 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
he isn't an abuser, or cheater , or lazy(unless you count too much time on the computer studying religion.) he works hard and pays the bills the best he can. its like no matter what he does right they don't like him. we have been married 12 years.
2006-09-03 18:44:04 · update #1
i love my family. i just dont like the way they treat me.
2006-09-03 18:45:16 · update #2
we dont do drugs, we dont drink, we dont party, we are lucky if we get to go out 3 times a year. beyond birthdays, we dont waste money, we dont hang with the wrong crowd (we hang with our christian friends.mostly during church) we dont push our christian beiefs on them. our life is= home, kids school, church , husband at work, that pretty much sums up our life.
2006-09-03 19:07:58 · update #3
This is a difficult situation to deal with... family is very important and it's hard to brush it off. Some may tell you to deal with it, but I know I wouldn't be able to. I'd be very hurt as well if I were in your shoes. I know everyone says this, but have you talked to them about this issue? Would they even listen? Sometimes people are just so stubborn... You've been married to him for TWELVE years and they STILL haven't accepted him? Generally I would say give it time, but you've had enough. Unfortunately, I don't think there's much you CAN do. It's up to them whether they want to keep you in their life and have their grandchildren in their life. Family... especially your PARENTS... should support you always (unless you're doing something stupid like drugs, etc.). It seems to me they're superficial and have judged your husband already without looking at the true person he is inside. I'm sorry I don't have much more to say... but really, you either try to talk to them about it, or hope that they will someday see the light before losing a daughter and grandchildren.
2006-09-03 18:55:17 · answer #1 · answered by Cochy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is such a shame! I honestly can not understand why family can treat each other that way without any remorse! I think that if you are happy and love your husband don't worry, good always comes to those who wait and deserve it and eventually you and your little family will be where you long to be and people around you will be jealous! Money doesn't bring happiness and it is always a struggle to start off with, but you always have to start at the bottom to get to the top! Stay strong, you'll get there in the end :)
2006-09-04 01:47:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some of my family has been like that; and I am educated, etc. They are just stuck up or something, I don't know.
It made me feel badly for a while but I have decided that I am better off with my friends and do not need to worry about that.
If they call I will talk to them and be polite but mostly they do not call. I am okay with that. I would not recognize their kids if I passed them on the street but am always invited to my friends kids birthdays, etc. I am happy with my friends and so that is what I will do.
My sister and I stick together too, so that does help. Do not let it get to you. They are not better than you and have no right to treat you this way. But even more so you should not allow yourself to be treated badly. Spend your time with people who care about you and accept you for you are.
2006-09-04 01:46:17 · answer #3 · answered by Melanie L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first don't let your sister just drop her kids, she is using you. Second there is nothing wrong with being a christian and a security guard, it shows that his family comes first and that he is doing the best he can. Money means nothing unless you have love and support behind it. They may have more money but I can guarantee you they don't have love and support why else would your sister be droping off the kids all the time. Third. As hard as it may be, stop going over to see your family. By standing by your husband and telling them if they don't like your husband they won't be seeing you. He is your choice not theirs, you live with him, they don't. And if they can't handle that fact they can all go to toothpicks.
2006-09-04 01:53:30 · answer #4 · answered by crafty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are the family scape goat. Stop spending so much time with them, they are dragging you down. There is a misconception among some Christians that if you have problems in your life, that God does not favor you. Are you familiar with the phrase "the Lord helps those who help themselves?" Sounds like your family follows this. Try and find a support group within your church, your family apparently doesn't want the job.
2006-09-04 01:48:22 · answer #5 · answered by sandcatsle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop visiting them for a long while. Become more involved w/ your husband's side of the family. Then when they finaly see you and ask you where you've been, constantly say good, exiting things about his familyand thier kids. They will get jelous and think u are favoring his side of the family than your own. They will have to start including u in more family stuff just to win you back!
2006-09-04 01:47:41 · answer #6 · answered by My name is MJ Beatch! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are who you are, and you have chosen who you want to love. Your family can't judge you on that. Be glad that you have a husband you love, children you are proud of. Despite your siblings been more successful and financial, guaranteed they have not had as happy moments as you have had with your family.
Be the strong one, and rise above them, I know this is hard (speaking from experience) but you will be the bigger person in the end. Never treat them tit for tat.
You can't make people change their attitude towards you, they are the only ones that can do it.
Even though you feel obligated to your family, what are they doing to your mental health, let alone your children's and your husband's? Is it worth it, just because you feel obligated to remain in contact with your family?
After 15 years we broke contact with my husbands family, as they were similiar to yours, and it was like a weight lifted from our shoulders. We only communicate by letters now, and even though they don't reply, we know we are doing the right thing for our little family, and we won't let them bring us down to their judgemental level
2006-09-04 01:54:13 · answer #7 · answered by Traveler 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wish I had the answer for you...I have felt that way with some people in my family and I have come to the conclusion that they feel I have a lot more to offer. I put myself through college and recently graduated and they have a lot more respect for me...I know it sounds dumb, but I have had a conversation with one of them and they said that they were so proud of me finally living up to my potential. I guess they thought I was throwing my life a way. As far as your siblings and parents, I am sorry and it sounds liek your sis is using you as a cheap babysitter. Dont' take the abuse. You are better than that and so are your kids. One thing about family we don't choose them, but our friends we do. Lean on your friends, they know you are worth their time.
2006-09-04 01:48:17 · answer #8 · answered by Carrie H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may sound harsh-I don't mean for it to. If people make you feel bad for the choices that you make, and you feel that those choices are right for you, then you need to seriously limit your interactions with those people. I haven't spoken to my mother for over three years because she verbally abused me (even in front of my children!) and physically abused me as well. Sometimes it hurts to think that we'll never be close, but I am happier without her in my life. Hope you can work something out that makes you happy!!!
2006-09-04 02:39:52 · answer #9 · answered by morticiasl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have faith in the lord give it to him. when us Christians do the best we can that's when satin attacks us the most and he'll do it any way possible. read job. my family does the same thing. i stay away because I've come to realize that the less stress i have to put on myself by them the better I'm. stay strong it sounds like your a lucky woman to have found a good christian man that treats you well. god be with you all.
2006-09-04 02:07:31 · answer #10 · answered by blewibabydoll 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋