Alcoholics Anonymous info?

Question

Long story short ... my husband is an alcoholic, he says he's not of course, but he is (he's in the other room puking right now).

I've begged him to get help, if not for himself, for our infant daughter. But he flat out refuses. So my question is: Can I go to an AA meeting and get advice or help? Or does HE have to be the one to go?

Answer 1

he has to go...you go to alanon meetings

Answer 2

Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12 step programs including Al-anon try to convince you that you are powerless and that you have this insidious disease and by confessing your sins, apologizing to everyone you wronged and believing that God will run your life for you is the only way to stay sober. You are expected to do this the rest of your life because if you stop participating in meetings and other activities you are called a dry drunk and relapse is imminent.

Look into programs like Smart Recovery (www.smartrecovery.org) which uses Cognitive Behavior Training and other proven methods to get and stay sober.

For information on the problems with AA and why there is a 90%+ relapse rate go to the link below.

Answer 3

AA works for 5% of the people who join. This 5% number comes from several studies including AA's own internal Triennial survey.

Many of the 95% that the program doesn't work for get worse. Their powerless concept, along with the the disease theory can keep a person mired in alcoholism unless they are ready to accept the religious trappings and dogma of AA's vague "higher power".

AA has a cult mentality of "us vs, them" where you as a "normie" or "earth person" cannot possibly understand them. You will be expected to attend Al-anon, but even so, he will be told that his priorities are God, AA, and then his family. Many relationships do not survive AA.

Here what does work:
http://www.behaviortherapy.com/whatworks.htm

I spent close to 20 years bouncing in and out of the rooms, only managing a few months of sobriety at a time. It wasn't until I turned my back on AA and got help for the depression that always caused me to return to drinking that I was able to maintain sobriety.

Answer 4

AA has what they call " open " meetings. Anyone can go for any
reason. If you live in a major metro area, no problem finding one.
Look on internet for " AA ( your city ) " Be aware that some groups
are more responsive than others - so, if one doesn't help, go to
another. But, by all means, GO!!!!! Don't expect easy, simple
answers. AA meetings are free but please make $ 1 donation
to help pay the rent, etc. They do a really good job for a lot of
people. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

There are groups in AA for spouses (Al-anon), children of alcoholics, adult children of alcoholics, etc. Use the yellow pages or call the local hospital for meeting places.

You have a tough time ahead of you. I was married to an alcoholic for 8 years, and he, too, denied he had a problem. He drank before he went to AA; he was arrested several times and ordered by the court to go to counseling.

Finally, after so many attempts at being supportive by attending meetings with him and alone, I had enough. I was tired of the threats, fighting, verbal abuse, lack of employment, and the emotional stress. After he told me for the umpteenth time he had stopped drinking, I found over 100 empty pints of alcohol hidden in the trunk of my car and in the house, I filed for divorce. When you think he has hit rock bottom, he can still go lower. If you have children, please think about the effect his drinking has on you and your family.

Only your husband can decide that it is better to be sober. The loss of his job, his license, his friends and his family are really secondary if he wants to continue to drink.

You are not to blame, and you cannot force him to stop. He has to want to stop himself. Al-anon is a good support group for you to join.

Answer 6

first thing you can contact AA in your city, and they will direct you to a support group and also attempt an intervention with him. It goes something like this. "your wife is concerned about your drinking. She has asked me to talk to you about it. I do not care what you think your are an alcoholic or not, so let me tell you my story and then you have listened and I have done my part" I then relate my history of drinking and what it has caused me and my life. Usually somewhere along the course he will start to recognized himself. I push no further (waste of time, his and mine) but I do leave the "Big Book" which AA prints and sells for $5.00 which makes it easy to give away. I leave a phone # and how he can contact me and I can get him to a meeting. Things progress from there

Answer 7

You are better off with Al-Anon. If you have trouble finding an Al-Anon group, then go to the AA meeting for further guidance. Your husband will not stop until he admits his problem for himself and takes the decision himself to stop and ask for help.

Answer 8

Alcoholics Anonymous is for the alcoholic only, so you cannot go. There is another group called Al-Anon, which is for family members of alcoholics. It would be very helpful for you to find an Al-Anon group and attend their meetings.

Answer 9

You can go to an AL-anon meeting. It is specifically for people who are involved with alcoholics, weather it be wife, mother, child etc... Most cities that have Alcoholics anonymous meetings also have al-anon. I went years ago to deal with my fathers drinking it helped me a lot. Good luck. I hope your husband will get help to.

Answer 10

there are meetings for spouses and family members of alcoholics. i used to go to ala-teen meetings. my dad is a recovering alcoholic. i think ala-non meetings is what you want to look for. good luck.

Answer 11

I do not know which country you are in.
In Australia there is a group called alanon .
It is for the families of alcoholics.
I am sure they can help you