We have not spoken of this to anyone because it is very embarassing but we would like to see a doctor who specialises in dealing with this kind of situation. Any recommendations? I am seeking genuine help here so would appreciate no nonsense answers. thank you.
2006-09-03 18:37:58 · 20 answers · asked by gemini 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First see a gynocologist to make sure there is not a physical reason for the problem. It is always painful the first time because you are breaking the hymen, after that it shouldn't be. This doctor is a specialist in female problems. Also does he make sure you are ready for intercourse, you need lubrication or it might be uncomfortable. Next if it is not physical see a counselor, perhaps he or she can help you find out the cause if it is not a physical one. Some women do have pain during intercourse from a psychological trauma or something. Good Luck!! P.S. It is not all that uncommon and nothing to be embarassed about.
2006-09-03 18:45:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go to a Doctor immediately.
You might have a severy condition known as vaginismus:
Vaginismus is a condition which affects a woman's ability to have sexual intercourse, insert tampons and undergo gynecological examinations. This is the result of a conditioned muscle reflex of the pubococcygeus muscle in which they clamp shut, making penetration either extremely painful or impossible. The severity of vaginismus varies from woman to woman.
It is important to remember that the woman does not choose for this to happen; it is a reflex reaction. Vaginismus can be compared to the response of the eye shutting when an object comes towards it. A woman with vaginismus learns to expect pain to come with penetration and so her mind automatically sends a signal to her PC muscles to clamp shut, thus making penetration either impossible or very painful.
The conditioned reflex creates a vicious circle for vaginismic women. For example, if a teenage girl is told that the first time she has sex it will be very painful, she may develop vaginismus because she expects pain. If she then attempts to have sexual intercourse, her muscles will spasm and clamp shut which will make sex painful. This then confirms her fear of pain as does each further attempt at intercourse. Every time the fear is confirmed, the brain is being "shown" that sex does hurt and that the reflex reaction of the PC muscles is needed. This is why it is important that if a woman suspects she has vaginismus, she stops attempting to have sexual intercourse. This does not mean women with vaginismus can not partake in other sexual activities, as long as penetration is avoided. It is a common misconception that these women do not want to have sex as a lot of the time, they desperately do.
There is no one reason that a woman may have vaginismus and in fact, there are a variety of factors that can contribute. These may be psychological or physiological and the treatment required will usually depend on the reason why the woman has the condition. Some examples of causes of vaginimus include sexual abuse, strict religious upbringing, being taught that sex is dirty or wrong or simply the fear of pain associated with penetration, and in particular, losing your virginity. These are just some of the reported reasons behind vaginismus and there are many, many more. It is a very personal condition and so each case must be looked at individually as causes and treatment can not be generalised to all women with vaginismus.
Most women who suffer from vaginismus do not realise they have it until they try to insert a tampon or have sex for the first time and so it may come as quite a shock to them. Whether they choose to treat the problem or not is entirely their choice and they should never be led to believe that vaginismus must be treated. It will not get worse or more serious if left untreated unless the woman is continuing to have sex/use tampons despite feeling pain on penetration.
2006-09-11 00:22:12 · answer #2 · answered by White 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What part of it is Painful? If it is the inital entering then use the KY Jelly not the gel kind the warming liquid. so insertion is easly gliding in. Make sure you are moist enough. And tell your hubby to go slowly. This will also help
2006-09-04 01:43:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go see your doctor, it might be something really simple. Don't worry until your gynecologist tells you there is something wrong. This is actually pretty common when a woman initially becomes sexually active. If it's painful for him he should see a urologist. Good luck, it will all work out.
2006-09-04 01:43:22 · answer #4 · answered by theresa b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gynecologist first. Make sure there's nothing wrong with you. Then ask for a referral to a sex therapist. It may be he's "too big" or you're "too small" or both. It could even be a psychological thing you're not aware of. Sex therapist would be the next step if you're healthy physically.
2006-09-04 01:59:51 · answer #5 · answered by Cochy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First......You can't just stick it in!!!!!!
It sounds like your husband needs to slow down.
YOU: need to relax....#1!
#2 clear your mind.....it hurts every first time. It only gets better the more you do it.
#3 start to touch.......TOUCH is the most important.....feel eachother....everywhere...DON'T BE SO TIMID!
It's going to be okay!!!!!!
#4 If your husband wants it....It would be a definte...an absolte for him to lick your clit....and all around.....Oral is an asset for both people....but in your case I believe it will help you first and foremost.
#5 Slide a few wet fingers in there hubby......start with one....two....three....EASY BUDDY....Don't jam them in there!!!!
#6 LUBE....YOU WIFE would definetly be very grateful for the lube for when it's time to slip it in.....BE GENTLE!!!!!
Don't concentrate on the initial pain.....this does subside.....Go with it.....You might be surprised!
Poor girl......Hope he's not hung like a horse....then he might only have to stick it in halfway....There are toys that can go around the base of his penis so that it shortens the length.....When it comes to girth.....The woman's vagina can stretch to a total of ten cm when giving birth to a child.....It can slide in there! Follow these directions and good luck!
2006-09-04 01:56:52 · answer #6 · answered by ConCon 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK what i suggest is that you both go to the doctor and see whats causing the pain and get that resolved and then try again
2006-09-04 01:41:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start by going to an Gynecologist to get an exam. There may be an underlying medical reason for this, so have a checkup.
2006-09-04 01:40:52 · answer #8 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
go the obgyn and get a checkup be frank and honest with the doctor and tell them the exact nature of the problem IE :virgin or ecactly how painful and what kind of pain it is! hopefully they will be able to tell you whats causing it and how to fix it!
2006-09-04 01:46:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might try an actual sex therapist or a GYN. Don't mess around with anyone other than a professional in this area.
2006-09-08 14:42:31 · answer #10 · answered by heyrobo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋