2006-09-03 17:18:08 · 22 answers · asked by Jen be bitchin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your not lost.. trust me. Deployment is hard, especially building up to them leaving. Just know there are outsources out there to help, your husband's unit, FRG Leader, your community, friends and family ... in addition Yahoo Groups there are a lot of military spouse groups out there.. myspace has military spouse groups..
When he is away, its hard but doable. Its just something you do, you find ways to get through the day and through the night. Just know that each day that passes, its a day closer to coming home to you. Find ways to communicate with one another. During my husband's deployment I opened up a Yahoo 360 blog ..each day I wrote in it and when he was able to he responded. Phone calls are a must and if you are a lucky one (we weren't) he will have Yahoo IM. If he does get IM - then make sure you both have web cams. I know for me sending letters and care packages made me feel like I was still able to take care of him - even the small things.
You will get through this and ultimately I found that deployment made our marriage stronger. It makes you treasure the small moments you have together more valuable. If you need anything else - contact me - my info is on my profile. I know how you feel .. I really do - we are facing another year deployment in March, he just returned this past March. Its not something I want to happen, especially because he wouldn't be home for the year anniversary of our son's death. But if it happens.. as a military wife we find ways to be strong.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-03 17:23:24 · answer #1 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If your 3 yr old doesn't go to daycare you may want to enroll, or even just start some play dates. Help your 3 yr old understand that Daddy is going to be gone for a while but he will be home soon. Get involved with the KVN (key volunteers network it's a group of spouses that keep in touch for support while the spouse is gone) You aren't the first, nor the last to be expecting while your hubby is away. You just have to try really hard not to stress and realize he will be home soon. Don't try to guilt trip him because he is going. It is his job. Some bases give the parents books to read and video tape. So when the parent is gone they can still have special time. You might want to try it. Also remember he may have access to the Net. So if you don't have it get Internet at your home, and a web cam. This way your hubby can see you and the kids and you can see him. Good luck.
2006-09-08 04:39:35 · answer #2 · answered by fin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Iraq in October will be here before you know it and it can make the time you have left seem stressful together until then. So first get off the computer and enjoy the time with him. There is plenty of time after he leaves to be on the computer. I have been in your shoes. Mine left when I was 8 months pregnant to go over there. It is tuff! Find things to keep your mind busy scrapbook pages and make movies of the kids while he is gone. Make pictures every month of the kids and send it to him.
I know it's hard to toughen up and not complain to him but unfortunately the government doesn't care and will send him to defend our country so your job is here on the homefront to keep everything going. You can't do it alone and don't be ashamed to admit that. Seek friends and family help. Go to church and join a womens group. Also support groups on base are wonderful. Does he have any friends that has wives you can talk with. This helps but don't consume all your time just thinking of military because it will get to your nerves. There are several web sites also with other ladies in your same position.
Remember to do things with your three year old and don't take time away from the child due to your worry. I did and I look back and wish I had enjoyed my child more. Tell your spouse to go do the job he has to do and remember you will be here waiting for him. God bless.
2006-09-03 18:50:16 · answer #3 · answered by Just wondering 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As lost as you are, and as fearful as you are, remember that just as your husband has a valuable job to do, your job is also of the utmost importance. Network with others who are in the same situation, and start talking to them. Ask questions. Find out what their support systems look like. Although I know you are worried about the care and feeding of your children, you also need to worry about the care and feeding of YOU! Think of ways you will be able to de-stress. Enroll to meet regularly with a counselor. Make sure you have sitters available for when you are stressed. Make that support system one that will help carry you and your family through that time. This challenging time in your life is also a time where you will likely build a great deal of strength and character in his absence. When he returns, and the two of you have gotten through this, you will find that you've been through something that made your relationship stronger and your resolve firm.
2006-09-11 16:31:52 · answer #4 · answered by Mark L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a whole month to share and be together cherish every minute!! Try and join a support group either on line or in your area,a lot of women are feeling the same way and need someone to talk to. You all will have a common bond and can comfort each other.Keep a daily journal of how you feel and the daily things your child is doing, he can read this when he comes home and feel like he didn't miss out!
2006-09-03 17:28:02 · answer #5 · answered by single mom 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hello. my husband (he was my boyfriend until 7/4/2006) was in afghanistan when we met (online). last year he was deployed to Iraq/Kuwait for 7 months. Shortly after he left I found out I was pregnant. I had to tell him by text message that he was going to be a daddy. It was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. But all you can do is be strong for him. I sent him letters and care packages and tons of pictures. I emailed him at least once a day. Us women have to stick together. Let me know if you'd like to talk. Oh- a great website I just found is www.cinchouse.com Check it out! God bless your husband for serving our country and God bless you for being is wife! Keep your head up!
a note for the non-military folk: there is no choice to stay when it comes to deployment. and you cannot take your family with you, nor would you want to.
2006-09-03 17:27:59 · answer #6 · answered by Emily E 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Can you move in with your folks or your husband's folks? I'm sure they would love to have the kids around. Also it would be a great help for you during the time your husband is gone.
2006-09-08 19:38:27 · answer #7 · answered by justwondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to other military wives going through the same thing that you are going through. Truly they are the ones that can help you through this. Whether you want your husband to go or not he's going.
2006-09-11 03:16:41 · answer #8 · answered by NyteWing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
while i'm lost in deep thinking i can bypass everywhere and that i've got stumbled on i'm frequently the single that exhibits myself. at situations human beings do whinge that i became lacking even nonetheless that's ok, i continuously come back. grr...
2016-11-06 09:22:02 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We do the best we can in times like these. Before I got remarried I was a single mom of four ranging in ages of 6-12.
I have worked two jobs almost all there lives, its really hard to survive like that. But we have to just go along, it won't be like this forever. My thoughts are with you really they are. Good luck to your husband
2006-09-05 01:23:18 · answer #10 · answered by Lavada R 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋