I need advice?

Question

I have been with someone for 3 years now, and just recently his best friend has come out and said that he has been wanting to talk to me and get to know me better ...you know...without my boyfriend around, the problem is i am attracted to him and i like his personality, me and my boyfriend have had alot of problems and i have fell out of love with him but i still care for him and agreed to TRY to work it out, but i still cant get it out of the back of my mind about his friend, i dont want to hurt anyone and i am so confused could someone please help me

Answer 1

Love is a lasting forever thing. So take your time. and no rush. Boys look at 2 things, prettiness and good personality. You know what pretty is. Good personality is the way u act and speak and how u behave yourself, also how u conduct yourself. They often look for good qualities. This is quite a tough area to improve. In other words, if they like u, means they really like u. If not, then maybe there's still a chance u can improve. All the best to u.

Answer 2

Well being in a love triangle is messy the emotion of feeling is so intense. You could sit down with both induvidually. talk to your boyfriend will call chuck and your friend will call Bill use the examples to help you.
Questions for chuck
1 Should we see other people?
2 Is there someone you like beside me another girl name shirly but you'd be okay if he did?
3 What needs to change with us that would make a flame burst?
4 the reason why we broke up is that a problem still?
5 what do we need to do to make the problems okay so i can not worry that you'll hate me?
Questions for Bill
1 how far would you go with me ?
2 Would you ever date anyone of your friends and who?
3 if I asked you would you say no?
4 Would it be wrong if I dated someone so quick even though I said i 'd try to work it out?
5 if chuck found out I began dating someone he knew how would you react in that situation
I think theses questions may aid you in this part of your quest to find happiness

Answer 3

Ok, in my opinon, sooner or later you WILL have to choose. These feelings that you have for your boyfriend's friend can build up to the point where neither fo you can hide how you feel when the three of you are together. That can make things extremely akward! If you stay with your boyfriend, then you must tell his friend this and you must let him know if he should wait around ro move on. Seeing the two of you together can just end up hurting him. Now if you go with the friend, i would say that you should give him time for grief. Then a little bit into that or after, his friend should talk to him. Nothing could be worst then him finding out after you two get together. SO whichever way that you choose choose wisely, because SOMEONE is mostly likely to be hurt when it's over. I hope this helps...

Answer 4

Please, do NOT start a relationship with his friend. In situations like this, try putting yourself in the victim's shoes, and the victim in this case is your boyfriend. If you two have been together for 3 years, there apparently is more there than average, casual relationships.

You are the only one that can know, in your heart, if you're able to work things out with him. Reach in to yourself for that answer and come to a conclusion. But don't get involved with his friend. It's mean and so, so unfair. If you feel you must, break up with your boyfriend and move on to someone else, but leave his friend alone. You wouldn't want him doing that to you, would you?

Also, what if your boyfriend is setting you up? What if he has an agreement with his friend to hit on you just to see what your reaction is?... Just to see if you cheat on him.

Watch yourself.

Answer 5

I lived your story. I dated a guy for 3 years, and was in love with him... but when the problems started it seemed like his friend was always there for me to lean on... one thing led to another and now I have been married to the friend for almost 20 years....

I do have to say that it did not come without a price. My husband lost his best friend, but he seemed to think that was a small price to pay... after all he gained a wife. Good luck and realize what you could be doing to their friendship. Is it worth taking that risk? Only the two of you can answer that....

Answer 6

Your problems with your bf will not get solved or resolved by getting with his best friend. AND his best friend will have no respect for you, nor his he likely to discontinue his friendship to be wth you. So where would that leave you? ALONE, that's where.

You may want to try using the friend as a sounding board to help you with your problems with your bf, but it sounds to me as though you have already decided that relationship is over, or you wouldn't be so conflicted about the best friend...

Answer 7

Maybe you should talk to your boyfriend again about your feelings. Tell him that you are attracted to someone else, but don't say who. And see what he says. Maybe he has an attraction for someone else also and does not know how to tell you. Comunicate with him about your feelings.

But it might be a trap so be careful.

Answer 8

if you have fell out of love with him, how can you still be with you? neither you or him will be happy. you should end the relationship if you dont love him. the sooner the better. thats what you should be concerned with at the moment. oh and whatever you do, dont act on your feeling you have for his friend. that will destroy their friendship.

Answer 9

If you see no reason to be with your current boyfriend then break it off, its pointless to carry on a loveless relationship. If you do see a reason to stay with him then work your *** off to make it work, and put the feelings you have for your friend on the back burners for now.

If you have to many things to juggle you tend to drop them all rather then just one.

Answer 10

most of the time friends are off limits after you break up with someone. But if you are no longer happy with him then you shouldn't be with him.

Good luck