do people have to judge HER...when they do should she just say..."go ahead and judge if it makes you feel better, but you have never walked in MY SHOES???" or when someone asks her..."what happened in your marriage?"..should she just say.."oh, it didn't work out!!" what is best for her to do...because of the judgement??He is now in a care center well taken care of...she is to raise the children alone...very sad situation...she was able to obtain an annulment because he was not a husband anymore...The Catholic church GRANTED it as a lot of churches do..But what can you say to people to just not re-live it???nosy people/////
2006-09-03 17:03:12 · 10 answers · asked by sweet 4 in Education & Reference ➔ Other - Education
When she meets someone that deserves the full explanation she can tell it all. Otherwise she should figure out a stock response like, "it didn't work out as we had anticipated" and, "I really don't like to discuss it." People are far to apt to think they owe others explanations - guilt makes you feel this way. She should work to lose the guilt.
2006-09-03 17:13:31 · answer #1 · answered by Mos 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough situation because there will always be people ready to critisize her for "abandoning" her husband. People can be harsh to a spouse in this situation because they are affraid of what would happen to themselves in this situation.
Most people believe a marriage should continue "in sickness or in health" like the vows promised. That's okay and that is also understandable since many people would, infact, stay married regardless of the condition their spouce is in and regardless of any anullment that could be granted by a church.
However, people divorce for many, many reasons. And some of the same people who are judging harshly your friend are probably themselves divorced or have on occassion considered divorce.
As you've pointed out, one should never judge another in this situation until they have walked in the same shoes. We have only one life, and there are times when difficult decisions must be made in order to be happy during that one life.
Asking someone "what happened" to a marriage is a very personal question and is one only the very closest family and friends have any business in. She could simply reply to others, "I'd rather not talk about it."
2006-09-04 00:16:44 · answer #2 · answered by Yinzer from Sixburgh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there;
First, IMHO it is very rude for strangers to ask such personal questions about marriage situations but that is the sign of the times eh?
My stock answers have always been when faced with such situations as your friend finds herself is to simply reply honestly.
The honest truth is that it is no ones business. Such a person who would ask those intrusive questions will never be a good friend nor do they have the right to sit in judgment of any one. Such people must find something very lacking in their lives. Your friends stock answer should be, should she choose to follow what I do, is to simply say, " I do not know you well enough to desire to be that revealing about my personal life." If that is not a possible answer for your friend, then counsel your friend to find a more excepting, less judge mental, more supportive crowd to associate with. I know that sometimes people feel they are "stuck" where they are. That is an illusion. We have choices offered to us. If you and your friend are in a small town, then people there already know your friends circumstances. However, it sounds like a larger town so there will be more opportunities for your friend to form attachments within the community.
Remember, no one can embarrass you or inconvenience you without your permission. Please let your friend know that not every person is ill mannered or impolite. There are decent, loving people out here. Good luck.
2006-09-04 00:23:38 · answer #3 · answered by snowelprd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's got a rough road ahead of her, and certainly needs compassionate and supportive friends.
If someone is questioning her on the annulment, she can simply tell them it's a private matter and they can go ahead and guess to their heart's content.
On the other hand, she may want to let people know the marriage was annuled, because it means that she could now have a viable relationship, and a happy marriage, if she met the right guy. So she has the right to let people know that she is available.
2006-09-04 00:08:23 · answer #4 · answered by old lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personally do not like the The Catholic church.. they've disrespected my mother when she was wanting to switch over from Christian to catholic because my father was one... they requested that she goes to her ex husband to get docs of the last time she had SEX! Yes! such crap! After my mother and father heard this they walked out of the church and never came back and my father soon became a Christian.
IMO I would never trust a child inside of a The Catholic church! with such crazy law that prists and nuns cannot have sex! I say he Catholic church are nothing bit crazy loons!
2006-09-04 00:15:55 · answer #5 · answered by Brittany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to ask them why they need to know the answer to such a personal question.
2006-09-04 00:15:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not YOUR problem. Be a ButtOutSki and let her handle her own situation.
PS....If the church and jesus and god were so great, why did such a bad thing happen to her?? I know...she was just being "tested for faith"....LMAO
PS...You're bangin' her, ain't ya!!
2006-09-04 00:07:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
if people ask just tell them "it was annulled and I'd rather not talk about it."
Or just "it's too personal to talk about"
2006-09-04 00:05:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them to mind there own business
2006-09-04 00:05:48 · answer #9 · answered by HEY HOW ARE YA 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is a question of conservatism and changing world.
2006-09-04 00:06:08 · answer #10 · answered by Devaraj A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋