How can I deal with this punishment (I'm 13 yo)?

Question

My parents went on a trip and for a month were out. I did what I regret, joined bad crowds, was about t get in seriuos trouble (I didn't). Mom came 2 weeks ago and got to know what I did. I know I messed up, but though mom is treating me with love, she's going a bit overboard w/ my punishment. I only go out with her. Cell phone, internet and friends are controlled. although I can swim on wednesdays, fun only on weekends and with some restrictions. Shes controlling my clothes, only nice shirts over a bra (this will be forever) At night I stay home and spend quality time w/ mom, when we talk about life, right and wrong. This is not that bad, I know I was sidetracked, but such restrictions suck. And since mom wants me full of activities, I'm taking a culinary course. I complained, but mom was inflexible. I hate this course. Tthere are "homeworks", so I spend good part of my free time including saturday mornings in the course or in the kitchen wearing a cute apron, oh!. for one month more

My mom said she will trust me again, but I gotta be patient and accept my punishment without any rebellion. I won't rebel, But isn`t the culinary course and my cute aprons a bit too much?

Answer 1

you are lucky she didn't spank you. any of my children acting as you did would lose all special treats (cell and internet) and would have been soundly spanked..

rr

Answer 2

It's hard to know if the punishment fits the crime because you didn't really go into detail on what you did wrong. It could be too harsh, or it could be too lenient.

In the end, your mom loves you and wants the best for you. That's why she is punishing and trying to fill your day with activities that will keep you out of trouble. Since she's your mother, you don't have much choice other than to make the most of it.

Now, AFTER you are finished with the punishment, you need to know that your trust balance with your mother is zero. In order for her to trust you again, you're going to need to follow her rules and be honest with her about everything. That way, when you do screw up, you'll have some credibility with her.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Well, let's see here. I spent my entire senior year grounded. Period. From everything. I lost all my friends, because I couldn't talk on the phone or go out at all. Ever. And I didn't get to go to senior prom. I couldn't date. I couldn't do anything without parental supervision. All because I was having sexual relations. I'm 30 now, and I regret everything I did in high school, and I thank God that my mom cared enough to love me enough to punish me. I went off the deep end when I got to college, and had some REALLY rough times. I got married to "escape", and have two children now, and a bad marriage, but I can't "escape" again. Thank the Lord you have a mother who cares and loves you, and the apron thing isn't as bad as you think. And really, you are only 13, so there isn't much fun you are missing at this point in your life. Just suck it up and accept that God has given you a pretty great sounding mother, and live and learn.

Answer 4

I am not sure... because you only touched on the subject of what you did wrong. I think your mom and dad expected you to be a bit more responsible with your freedom. Though.. they were gone for a month? And you are only how old?
I am willing to place a serious bet that at first.. you were exactly that.. responsible.. and every bit of trustworthy as you could be. But.. then.. the freedom got out of hand. And that, is not your fault, it's your parents..
There are a few reasons your mom is grounding you and taking a firm hand in all of this.. As a mom.. one is guilt for leaving you that long.. and the other, because you almost got into trouble.
I am happy to hear that you were smart enough to get yourself out of it, and fix it up before you mom got back. And I wish that I could have a teenager as well raised and responsible as you are. Your mom should be proud.
I think that your mom wants you to learn the basics of being on your own.. cooking, cleaning.. etc.. and also teaching you self respect.. ie, the approval of your mom about your clothing.
Your mom wants you to communicate with her. Your feelings, what you have been doing.. open up to her, be honest, talk to her.. Does she know any of your friends? If not.. ask her if one of them can come by for lunch one day.. then talk to her about what she thinks after they go home.

Answer 5

You deal with it by realizing you did it to yourself. You deal by being grateful that someone cares enough to want to keep you out of trouble, many kids don't have that luxury. You deal with it by realizing that you betrayed their trust, you let them down, you disappointed them and mostly you proved to them that you were not capable of making good decisions if you are left to make them on your own. Now you have to start all over trying to earn back trust and confidence from them by abiding the rules, apologizing for what you did and stop saying BUT...such as I knnow I was side tracked BUT, because when you say but it means forget everything I said before the but cause now I'm going to tell you what I really think. So the sentence goes, I SCREWED UP...I GOT SIDETRACKED, period. Are you saying they left you alone for a month because something is seriously wrong with that too! If you think that is overboard you can also add being grateful you aren't my kid to your list LOL! They are just trying to show you that their are consequences for your actions in the real world..you want to be treated like you are a grown up, well guess what thats exactly what you are experiencing, only when you are a grown up one split seconds bad decision can send you to prison or change your life permanently in other ways. Learn the lesson here and now...before you do something think it ALL the way through, not just that minutes worth. It is a skill you will need throughout your entire life.

Answer 6

I am not sure what part of this is a punishment. To me all of these things sound appropriate for any 13 year old girl. Be thankful you have a mom who cares. There are many kids out there who are not so lucky when they are *not* being punished. And unfortunately there are many kids who are beaten, or worse. I think you should go tell your mom thank you and how much you love her.

Answer 7

Quit your complaining. You know what happened to me when I pulled the same nonsense as you? No phone, no computer, no friends, no TV, doing all the chores in the house, etc.
Grow up, your a teenager now and Think before you do anything. Stop acting like such a spoiled brat and quit your complaining about learning how to cook. Because when you do move out you'll at least know how to do that for yourself.

Answer 8

Oh teenagers are so annoying. Look she is your mother and what ever you did she didn't like. Now you have to make it up to her. And NOT in a fake way, it must be genuine. As far as taking a culinary course, this is actually an excellent skill to have. You might be able to come up with a million dollar recipe and never have to work a day in your life. Because it would be manufactured. Think positive thoughts and they will guide you dear.

Answer 9

I think your mom is doing the right thing, you should understand her, if she is being so restrictive is because she is VERY worried about you. I would just follow the rules and try to become friends with her and enjoy your life now, I am sure you will understander her later on.
Cheers!

Answer 10

IS THAT ALL??? WOW COUNT YOURSELF FORTUNATE!!! PLEASE ALLOW ME TO SHARE WITH YOU SOME FACTS ABOUT PUNISHMENT AND OTHER THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN LIFE.
1- You got in the bad crowd and almost got in trouble but didn't . Hey that's great. But so many people dont get that chance.
I know people who got into trouble that ONE time, now they are either DEAD or in PRISON.
Next, about your clothes. I'm assuming your "APPAREL" consisted of the provocative. I cannot count how many times I've spoke with friends who are law men and they all tell me the same stories. The girl dressed sexy, she was raped. Or the girl dressed sexy, we found her DEAD body on the side of the road. She was raped and killed.
I'm sure you've heard Women talk about men who say a "woman's asking for it"? Well whether you women like it or not, when you wear that skirt so short it shows half your *** YOU ARE ASKING FOR IT!!! And while that don't necessarily mean that you want it to happen, it does mean when a lot of men see that, they assume you're wanting sex. And before you sit there and say "you dont know what you're talking about" Let me assure you I do. I've sat down and personally spoke with serial killers, had dinner with them, and so many said the same thing.... SHE WAS DRESSED TO KILL, SHE WAS "ASKING FOR IT".
Next, at least your mom cares enough for you to punish you. Heck lady, that is even Biblical. The bible says that God punishes those he loves.
It is GOOD your mother cares enough about you to do that. I've seen mothers and fathers, BURN their children with irons because they spilled soup on the floor, beat them about the head with a shoe because they dropped a fork on the floor. I've seen pregnant women smoke pot and when they have their babies, they are born DEAD.
I've witnessed children as young as 4 and 5 years old have their faces slapped for being scarred at a car wash or because they wet their pants.
I've personally seen dead bodies of people where their parents shot and killed them because they were mad at them.
So, if I was you, I'd quit complaining about the punishment, because it could be a lot worse.
And as for the kitchen detail, I wouldn't whine about that either. You could learn a trade from that, and later on, after you win back her trust, you could do something else to learn a trade.
So think about what I said, and if you dont think things like that happen, OH HOW I CHALLENGE YOU, I DOUBLE DARE YOU TO GO ASK ANY POLICEMAN IN ANY BIG CITY, AND LET THEM TELL YOU THE HORROR STORIES OF THINGS THEY'VE WITNESSED WITH THEIR OWN EYES.
YOU'RE LUCKY GIRL,

http://www.kcm.org
http://www.joycemeyer.org

Answer 11

NO! you did the crime..now you do the time...you are soo lucky with that punishment.....

That is how you stay out of bad crowds and bad situations...you ar e13....you don't get a choice as to what you get to wear yet.....

Deal with it.....you will understand one day....Believe me...a guy who has screwed up so many times....Those activities will get thta trust back...just imagine what the punishment will be if you forget.....That is why it is harsh...and to be honest...it isn't that harsh!