I was suppose to get married next year in Jamaica.When we started planing we decided against a big wedding.But my mom decided that she wanted to invite her friends so instead of 15 it was 45, I decided to l.i.g the situation b/c she was excited but when she found out that we were leaving the day before her she blew a gasket;then when she found out that we were staying at a different hotel she was upset about that.When her & I talked about it I thought she was okay with everything b/c she hadn't said anything in a couple of weeks. Now she is upset b/c her friends will have to get passports to go(but she knew that from the start).She wanted to argue & scream(as usual), I decided to call the whole thing off.When a person gets married it's suppose to be exciting but all I feel is hurt and upset. We decided to go to the courthouse b/c I don't want to argue anymore.When she finds out she going to be upset,but it's nothing I can do for her.The funniest thing is she wasn't paying for anything
2006-09-03 16:56:53 · 11 answers · asked by Ms. Hot Chocolate 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I am trying really hard to be understanding, but b/c she continues to treat me as thought I am 12 instead of 31 it's kind of hard too. Like I said I love her so much but how can I explain to her that what I want is what I want. Everytime I've tried to talk to her the first thing that comes out of her mouth is that I am being disrespectful to her. I don't want to do that so a lot of the time I don't say anything at all. It's killing me inside and I don't know how to make her understand. My fiance and I planned our dream wedding but instead she makes me feel as though I don't even want to get married. My soon-to-be is great and very supportive and I know that he loves me but I know by crying and being upset alot it's really starting to take it's toll on him. I don't want him to be hurt but I just don't know how to handle this. I want he and I to be happy but I still want to keep the peace with my mom.
2006-09-03 17:08:24 · update #1
The thing that us children have the hardest time learning, is when we are suppose to act like the adults around our parents. Especially, when they themselves are acting like children. Your mother has expectations for your life.... she's probably been waiting for your wedding since the day she had you. But you have your own expectations, and you need to let her know what YOU want... bottomline. It's your wedding and not just your wedding, but your day and time of giving yourself to your husband and celebrating the union between the two of you. You should focus on what you want to take place. Mother's can be a little (or a lot) selfish and sometimes we need to let them know that they won't get away with it. This is your time to be happy and have a joyous time, don't let ANYONE steal that from you.
2006-09-03 17:16:10 · answer #1 · answered by Aggie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are saying and you have to see that you are 31 years old now. You and your hubby to be should try to sit down with your mom and talk to her together, and if that dont work you need to go on and get married at the court house also let her know that this is your wedding and that you would love just her and a few of your friends and one of her friends to come. See your mom has raised you and it is time for the string to untie for you and your hubby to be is the new beginning of a new life together. Also another thing to do is go and have a big wedding and let your mom that you would like for her to help that way she wont fill out and that is what might be wrong for she loves you and you love her and she wants to be part. Take care and god bless. also pray about it ok.!
2006-09-04 02:28:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are both being unreasonable.
She is your only mother & wants to enjoy her daughter's wedding. It does not sound totally unreasonable, but your side of it is your wedding is reasonable too. Who pays makes no difference & not explaining why you want things a certain way
will not help. Marrying at courthouse will only ruin the memories for you & your Mother. Think carefully - I punished my sister by
refusing to be the Maid of Honor 33 yrs ago. I still regret it, even if I still know she was wrong.
2006-09-03 17:05:23 · answer #3 · answered by Wolfpacker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have a serious talk with your mother and explain to her that she should let you live your life. Shes making what should have been the happiest day of your life, a miserable experience. Tell her you love her but you want to live your life on your terms, not hers. If you want only 15 people at your wedding then thats up to you. No one should tell you otherwise, not even your mother. Go have the big wedding you want. You obviously tolerate your mother alot and for that you deserve to have the wedding you want.
Good luck
2006-09-03 17:04:12 · answer #4 · answered by T-Jay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there .....sweetheart what a position to be in ,and yes i understand that you love youre mum ,but this is important to you and youre husband to B! stop sit down and talk to him ,you both want youre marriage in jamaica then do it ,youre mother has no right to stop this ,im probably going to sound quite rude but this is how i see it ,youre mum brought you into this world and brought you up ,and has done a great job ,but its now YOURE TURN TO MAKE THE DECIONS FOR YOURE LIFE >>>>>>>NOT HER !!she is not going to like this but she will get over it tell her that the plans that you and youre future hubby are going ahead and you would love her to be there but if she decides not to be there then you will make sure that she sees the photos .....this might cause another arguement but this should be the last as when she stops and realise that youre serious and the fact that if she doesnt go she wont be in the photos she will chnge her mind im sure and if not well you and youre husband deserve the start in maied life that you want !! good luck in youre future together and all the best take care of each other xx
2006-09-03 21:40:48 · answer #5 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your life and YOUR wedding ... don't let your mother or anybody else ruin it. She'll just have to get over it all. It's not her special day and she's being selfish to act the way she is!
2006-09-03 16:59:13 · answer #6 · answered by emstenb 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK so who's wedding is this anyways? hello, your mom already had hers tell your mom that you love her but she needs to butt out and let you have the wedding that you want to have. good luck.
2006-09-03 17:02:11 · answer #7 · answered by oceanwvs2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
foeget about her , u are thye onlee person u have , no one is there for u , your mom is not the bozz
2006-09-03 16:59:55 · answer #8 · answered by jhjhiwe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR MOM IS OUT OF CONTROL.... THIS IS YOUR DAY, DO WHAT U WANT AND DO WORRY ABOUT WHAT NO ONE THINK
2006-09-03 17:09:47 · answer #9 · answered by TANNER GIRL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds like a frootloop
2006-09-03 16:58:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋