Is having twins a blessing or a curse?

Question

My girls are 8 months old, and I feel like I'm cursed. Yet people tell me I should feel ashamed for feeling this way. What do you think?

Answer 1

Go to the doc and get checked for post natal. It is higher chance when you have twins.
That 1st year is very hard but if it helps by the time they are 3 you will barely remember any of it.
Check if there are any Multiple Birth Groups in your area they are a great support and someone to talk to.
You cant help how you feel but you can help not doing anything about it. Get some time out. If someone can look after them or put them in care 2 times a week for 1/2 a day.
The day will come when you see it as a blessing not a curse. It will get better soon and the joy of twins will begin to shine through. They will learn to play with each other and will become a delight and before you know it you will notice it is not as hard. I'm not saying it will not be hard at times but it will be easier.
The next hardest time will be the terrible two's. I recommend doing a parenting course about 18 months on ways and methods of disaplining. This is what I did as I was getting into a bad place with all the fights they had. With the Positive Parenting Program and consistancy life became a lot better. They are now 7 and I wish i could go back a few years.
The first 3 years are like pushing a rock up a hill. Slow going and hard work. At 4 you reach the top of the hill and that rock rolls down and you case it and in only moment the years have flown by and you wonder how you got there so fast.
Go to the doctor and be checked for PND it will be the best thing you can do for yourself (as well as some well deserved time for you)


And when you read things like MemmeFrog says about having a 3 y/o and a baby is like twins, mentally smash the **** out of them and yell at the computer how UNLIKE TWINS IT IS. I HATE PEOPLE WHO SAY THEIR CHILDREN ARE JUST LIKE TWINS WHEN THEY ARE NOT TWINS! It is an insult to mothers of twins and only idiots say it.
Ignore all those that have made you feel bad for feeling what you do and go get some help

LIKE TWINS!!!!!AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGG!!!!!! deep breath in deep breath out LOL
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Answer 2

My oldest children are identical triplet girls. When they were little people would sometimes come up to us and say, "I'm glad that it was you and not me". So I would reply, "I am glad that it was us too".

You should not be ashamed of your feelings. You should base your shame or pride on your actions rather than your feelings. Being a parent is a very difficult job and if you give it your best shot then you will have nothing to be ashamed about.

Maybe before long you will realise that you are no more raising the children than they are raising you. Having people in your life to love and be loved by is always an opportunity to grow for both. Just enjoy the growing when you can and endure it when you can't. You won't be sorry in the end.

WK

Answer 3

I've never had twins, but if I did I think I would consider them a blessing. Why do you consider them a curse? Are you finding it difficult or becoming over tired. It can be overwhelming with one never mind two, so I can't imagine how it must be at times. This time goes so quickly. If you're feeling overwhelmed or tired, I encourage you to find someone that can come and offer some relief for you. Perhaps a grandparent or a friend. I would hate for you to look back on this time with anything but fond memories. God Bless

Answer 4

I know it must seem very hard for you as a mother at the mother and I for one praise you. I don't think its a curse as such but gee mate it must be very hard. I had two kids close to age but of course not doing the same thing at the same age. If you can try and get some you time. If you have a close friend or family that could take the babies for a while once a week and give you some you time this would be of some help I am sure.

Answer 5

Having twins is a blessing especially if they come as the first issues. I personally would have loved
to have twins as my first issue. Don't worry, things will fall into shape. What you need is assistance from your spouse or a baby sitter. When they are grown up, you will know they are a blessing and not a curse.

Answer 6

I think it is a blessing. I'm sure it is hard as a parent with the children being young but when they get older they will be glad they have a twin and you will be glad they have someone that they can talk to always. Just hold out. I would love to have twins... It is most definitally a blessing in my opinion.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

my sisters are twins. they are now 21. my mom felt the opposite of you. blessed when they were little and cursed now. they are brats. but that doesn't have much to do with them being twins. you need to get a babysitter and get a good night of sleep. enjoy some time of your own. you deserve it. i have a 5 month old son. sometimes i just need a break. it is overwhelming with one, i can imagine with two. but you can do it. you really do just need a little time for yourself. stress free time.

Answer 9

I'm sure you don't really feel "cursed". It's hard with one toddler, let alone two! This stage will pass. Hang in, and yes, you're blessed double!


All children are blessings.

Answer 10

if you really feel like it's a curse, than shame shame. Just now that when they outgrow their tender years, and they are less dependant on you, you'll look back and appreciate the time you had with them. and know that you will be rewarded twice for what you offer them in life. it's a blessing. chalk it up for now and embrass it.