If I go to court and they ask me to put my right hand on the bible, do they use a Torah instead? If not, why?
P.S. Please make me laugh, I could use a couple.
2006-09-03 16:45:45 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Jesus loves me yes I know. Jesus loves me, he told me so! Sound cute? Try hearing coming from an effin teddy bear 3,000 times in a row while your waiting for some yummy cold cuts from the deli! A JEWISH DELI! Of course, my man J.C. was Jewish but whatever. Have a happy labor day!
2006-09-03 16:52:30 · update #1
Actually our legal system has undergone a few changes under the reign of Secularism you may not be aware of.............
1. Bibles are not allowed in court, people are sworn in using "Origin of the Species."
2. If youre a Jew, you will have to once again explain to the liberal judge why Israel has the right to exist and defend itself.
3. If there are any Bin Ladin followers present, you will be given a complimentary body armor.
4. You are not allowed to use the word "God" otherwsie you will be held in contempt of court. (unless youre mocking him)
5. There are mandatory sentencing laws now for putting religious symbols in public so be careful to tuck in your star of David!
: ) Think it sounds crazy? Thats what the US is heading for.....
2006-09-03 16:57:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would say you wouldn't have to do it...but I would not expect the court to bring out a Torah...(would you expect them to bring out a budda? The Koran? for the atheist what would you swear on?? Our country was founded on Christian beliefs...We are a majority Christian culture...(and you know that the Jews are a part of those beliefs). At least here you have the freedom to worship what you want (within reason of the law). If people are offended by the majority Christian culture, they can always exercise the First American Right (the right to leave)...don't want to sound cross I love the jews..currently a fighter pilot serving in the military...and I would love to fight for Israel. Just tired of seeing our Christian culture in Government being taken away...like the 10 commandments being removed from court...thats even Jewish as well..
Flash
2006-09-03 17:08:30 · answer #2 · answered by Don 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask,them to fold the bible so the New Testament is separated form the Old Testament, and ask if you can, lay your hand on the Old one,then you have the Torah ! Wonderbarr huh.
2006-09-03 17:28:40 · answer #3 · answered by Tinkerbelle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the people who keep saying Torah = Old Testament, shut up and learn. Torah = Bereshit (Genesis), Shemot (Exodus), Vayyiqra (Leviticus), Bammidbar (Numbers), and Devarim (Deuteronomy).
5 does not equal the whole Old Testament.
Jeezus Krist people!
2006-09-03 18:32:50 · answer #4 · answered by Ari A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They open it to the middle and you just put your hand on the LEFT SIDE!
Ok, you have to be a little Christian here and be forgiving.
Forgive them for writing it upside down and backwards, for when you put your hand on the Left side it will be the END of the Tanakha, NOT the begining!
We all know you read things backswards like lefties!
2006-09-03 17:20:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'd swear on the a siddur. However, the idea of swearing in is not a religious thing. It is merely a way to get you to acknowledge that if you lie, you're comitting perjury. By swearing in, you are agreeing to the terms of a legal, binding contract.
Isn't that hilarious?
2006-09-03 17:11:38 · answer #6 · answered by x 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And as an atheist, what book do they have me use? I would look mighty silly with one hand touching the air and the other raised. Maybe it would be better just to use a lie detector while you swear to tell the truth, I think it would be more efficient.
2006-09-03 16:51:23 · answer #7 · answered by John S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't really know, but I would imagine they would if you requested it. How could they make someone swear on a text they don't believe in? Incidentally, I'm Christian, and I believe it is against Christ's teaching to swear on the bible (Matt. 5:33-37).
2006-09-03 16:53:57 · answer #8 · answered by valmay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No idea man. Generally legal things are "by the book" (nyuk nyuk) so probably yes, they will make you do that. Try asking for a Torah and see what happens.
2006-09-03 16:49:50 · answer #9 · answered by Dizazter 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont even believe in god and they make me swear on the bible.. I feel like saying "Dude as far as im concerned Ill wipe my *** with the pages of this book and this is the only thing your basing me not lying on" how pathetic is it!
Even more pathetic.. if your a priest.. you swear on the bible to tell the truth.. and then your permitted to lie if your protecting the name of the church..... hmmmm I smell a conspiracy!
2006-09-03 16:48:51 · answer #10 · answered by Jade H 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋