concerning the child support that he gave her for their two children together but after we were married and I became pregnant she filed a petition with the courts and now his support trippled. Three years have passed and with all of the support that he pays it has left us in a terrible position. She will not allow him to see his children anymore and with the large amount that he shells out to her every week it has left us in a financial bind to the point were I have considered walking away from the relationship. Does anyone know the legalities of modefications and more importantly visitation rights? We both love the children and we need a resolution. Please help!
2006-09-03 16:42:38 · 32 answers · asked by Blessed1 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
first of all, mina is wrong! she wrote: 'whatever the court ruled is fair' (or something of the sort).
significant changes require new court rulings, however, there is no way you can be sure they will be 'fair'.
there are limits to how much the ex-wife is entitled to, and there are expenses that you can subtract from his gross income (in most states) before the calculation even takes place.
dads should pay support, and kids need the help of both parents (at the very least).
as far as emotions go, i hope you can stomach the battle. 'walking away from the relationship' is a bit more difficult when it actually is a bunch of relationships at stake. 3 kids and 2 adults in your household...more people yet in other households. if you're happy (nobody is all the time), please stick it out.
my advice is make your current situation a stepping stone: completely side with your husband! let the ex-wife see that you are not effected by this. go back to the courts and get things re-adjusted in order to help with the financial strain.
2006-09-03 17:08:31 · answer #1 · answered by bill loomer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did he have the agreement in writing. He needs to get a lawyer. If a father pays support the mother can not stop him from seeing his children. Look up your local court house on the web an it will give you tons of info on what you are looking for. But I was told by a lawyer that if he is paying child support you can not stop visitation unless their is danger to the child and you have to have it documented. He needs to get on the ball about this before she does something worse, start taping conversation so she can't go back and said he never tried to see his kids. But this can evolve into something more serious than just money. Good luck, just do tons of web searching because every community and town are different in their procedures. But don't leave it will just make things worse he can start to resent his kids( worse cause scenario). I have been through this also. Good luck and best wishes to you and your family.
2006-09-03 16:54:15 · answer #2 · answered by medevilqueen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has the support tripled because he is now required to pay back support?
It sounds like you are in serious need of an attorney. Child support modifications as well as visitation rights and the enforcement of either vary greatly from state to state. The Attorney General's office of your state (which is the office that oversees child support issues) may be able to help with information regarding allowable percentages of income and that sort of thing. Unfortunately, if they are collecting arrearages, often those same percentages which are designed to allow the support-paying parent to LIVE can be thrown out the window. An attorney, though, may help you figure out where you are and what path should be before you. Often an attorney will allow you a consultation for free to help get you started.
2006-09-03 17:02:09 · answer #3 · answered by purplepinkanddots 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I don't see how she can keep him from the children if he's paying his child support on time. If he's paying back child support, then she can, rightfully so, keep the kids from him. About the bind this has put you in, your husband should of thought about his responsibilities with his first two children before he started making new ones with you. You said you're thinking of walking away? Yeah, that would be real good for your baby, leaving it without a dad. NOT. You married him knowing he had other children, and a responsibility to pay for them, and now, I suggest you stick it out for your kid's sake.
2006-09-03 17:20:15 · answer #4 · answered by K S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is paying a hell of alot of child support, then he can petition the courts for up to 50% custody, not just visitation rights. He is going to have to reappeal the case and get a good lawyer to fight for this. Also during the reappeal have your husband and yourself bring in documentation that you have been in a financial tight spot. Also if you have a good lawyer, even if their is not any writing on their previous agreement, the lawyer can still prove that the mother acted out of nowhere. Meaning something occurred that made her stick your husband with child support. Show the lawyer the original child support papers and show him that it coincides with your pregnancy. If the lawyer is smart he will show the judge that it was her acting out of emotion. This is unfair, stupid lady. I feel for you. You need to reapeal this because he has another family to take care of (which is you and your baby) the judge needs to come to some sort of middle ground for your husband. Gosh these child support laws need to be changed. Any woman can claim anything and stick the man with child support. Anyway I hope that this helps and good luck my dear
2006-09-03 16:51:32 · answer #5 · answered by gm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, if he pays support he is entitled to see the children as ordered in the agreement. Otherwise, you and he may have to get that done legally and hold the money in an account until it is resolved. Of course talk to a lawyer, or to Social services or someone that can advise you on what is legal. I don't believe she can keep the children from him while he is paying unless she has legally gotten an order for some reason about his character. I hate that. When children are used as pawns. he needs to get on it quick and she might re-think it when she sees court papers and knows you are serious. good luck, Congrats!
2006-09-03 16:51:00 · answer #6 · answered by MISS-MARY 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is there a parenting plan filed with the court?
If not you'll have to go to court to have visitation established. It's going to reflect very poorly on her that she's taking support and not allowing him to see the children (although one has NOTHING to do with the other).
Child support is determined by income. Is it possible your income is included? Did he show his w-2's or your joint return? Some states allow a small downward change of support once the payor has another child.
they canNOT include your income to figure child support. YOU are not legally obligated to support his children with someone else. I was just wanting you to make sure what the court used to figure the support didn't include your income.
2006-09-03 19:10:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In order for him to get the support changed he would have to go back to court. I would suggest that he contact a lawyer and file due to her not allowing him visitation. If she is not allowing the parenting time that was court ordered along with the support payments then she is in contempt of court. It seems really unfair that he has to pay, yet he is not being allowed to have time with the children, I would definitely take it back to court.
2006-09-03 17:01:43 · answer #8 · answered by PurpleAnkh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to petition the courts for visitation, she has no right to stop him from seeing his children. I don't think you can change how much child support he has to pay, but I don't see why you couldn't explain the hardship to the court system. I believe they consider the total number of children a man has, so your child should figure into it.
I'm not an expert though.
2006-09-03 16:48:28 · answer #9 · answered by S. O. 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off, I'm a mom who collects support for my children. However, I don't take him to the cleaners either. What your husband should do is talk to someone from a "Dad's Rights" organization. Also, he needs to go to the court house where his paperwork is filed and pick up "An Order to Show Cause" packet. To file it will cost about $40. Of course, any time you try to modify court rulings he'll HAVE to attend mediation with his EX. If you have any more questions your are more than welcome to email me at bobera74@yahoo.com. My name is Sara and if I can help, I'd be happy to.
2006-09-03 16:55:08 · answer #10 · answered by bobera74 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋