So Here's the deal. My GF of 2 years broke up with me last year. I could care less about the girl right now, I'm over that. I miss not haveing someone to talk to or rely upon. But the problem I have is this. I know she did something wrong. I'm not sure about it. For the last four months of the relationship, she'd blow me off. It was a long distance long term relationship. I'd tell her look, tell me when you will be back to the house from wherever you are going, and show up at that time. This wherever was usually a bar down the street, or a bar downtown. I'd already have worked a 12 hour shift in the AirForce, so I was usually tired. I might as well have gone to sleep. But she'd allways show up 1.5 hours to 4.5 hours after the time she'd say she'd show. I kept bugging her to show up when she said she'd show, do what you say, kinda' thing. So she broke up with me telling me I am controlling her. I think one of her friends had something to do with her feeling that way.
2006-09-03 16:37:56 · 6 answers · asked by Rivan81 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She knew you worked 12 hour days, she was hanging out at bars, she showed up late without calling?
Why do you even care what she says? She's manipulating you, trying to pin you with the blame for the relationship failing. If you were trying to control her I'd say you did a pretty poor job of it!
Read the book " The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense" by Suzette Haden Elgin. You probably can find it in your library, or at a bookstore.
I thought it was about how to one up the other guy, but it's about how to tell when someone is trying to manipulate you by verbal abuse. How to defend yourself if it's a boss or spouse or someone you're stuck with. But in your case, how to know if a girl is someone you even want to be with before you get deep into the relationship.
It will also help you see if you're a controlling person and how to stop that if you want to.
2006-09-03 16:48:42 · answer #1 · answered by Plain and Simple 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see this as being controlling at all. I too would be a little (NO a lot) pissed off if someone showed up 1.5 to 4.5 late. That right there shows....how unreliable she was.
2006-09-03 16:51:14 · answer #2 · answered by xxx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your probably not controlling unless there are other factors. out of respect for you she should have called or she shouldn't have comitted to being there at a certian time find some one who shares the same respects you do some people are just flakey
2006-09-03 16:45:31 · answer #3 · answered by freckleface 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like your ex was a free spirit. It doesn't matter if her friends had something to do with it. You can't keep some birds caged.
2006-09-03 16:42:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you had every right to ask her to be home to spend time with you, and I think she was a fool for not giving in sometimes......Relationships are a Two way street and she didin't budge an inch.........Take care.........
2006-09-03 16:40:40 · answer #5 · answered by mizzzzthang 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u need to see a doctor
2006-09-03 17:05:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋