2006-09-03 15:34:31 · 23 answers · asked by Patricia d 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
She's got a great point. Statistically, most soldiers are getting married quite young before they go on deployment so it makes sense that more pre-deployment counseling would help the 'family' in its entirety. Most folks haven't done this before and it's a 'first'. It would be extremely helpful if the military would help those first time enlistees or even post-deployment enlistees to get over the humps of military marriage. It's not like the civilian marriage with the normal stressors - it's way above and beyond. And damn, keep your pants on and zipped if your man/woman is in Iraq or Afghanistan or Korea or wherever. Work it out and support your soldier - and I mean both sides of the coin. But again, I think the military SHOULD engage others to 'coach' or 'mentor' those in the military to prevent divorce due to 'distance' etc. PS: I've dated someone across the Atlantic for 3 years and going on 3 years for the West Coast now...it's tough but when you really love someone, you'll wait - through distance, time zones and a few lonely phone calls - it's worth it!!!!!!!!
2006-09-03 15:48:03 · answer #1 · answered by bcbound 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The army has an abundance of programs and marriage enrichment activities available for the troops. If the soldiers don't use them, that's their own fault. There's nothing the Army can do to prevent a wife from screwing her husband's gunner (or the MP next door, or the 18 year old dependant who's selling her weed) in her spare time. Yes, I know, adultery is a punishable crime, but you have to get caught and charged for it first. If people can't work out their problems, it's their loss-or gain depending on how you look at it. Also, in case you didn't know this, JAG will not handle a divorce. You have to go to a civilian lawyer and pay for your divorce, same as everyone else. The only thing they could do to lower the divorce rate is either to outlaw divorce itself or the marriage before it starts. How do you think THAT would go over?
2006-09-04 12:04:45 · answer #2 · answered by desiderio 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I honestly don't know what could be done.
Military service is a very demanding career. Long hours, short notices, deployments, reassignments, and the list goes on and on.
Short of trying to make it a 9:00 - 5:00 job I don't see any way. BTW the military is there to stand in harms way and that is a 24/7 obligation. It is a special job and not suited to selfish people. I was very fortunate, I went 22 years active duty and my wife stuck with me through the whole thing. She understood when I went 36 hours straight or left for someplace she couldn't know about and did so in four hours to be gone for a month. She had it a worse than I did. She had the children to worry about. All I had to do was my job. Oh yeah, and stay alive.
I will say one thing, the non-uniformed spouse is the key in most cases. If that person isn't 100% on board with a full understanding of members importance to the nation the marriage has very little chance. I can't tell you how many marriages dissolved among people that worked for me. In my opinion it was normally a wife who wasn't receiving adequate attention because her husband was working some odd shift or another. Some times it is very ugly. I have seen it cost people their career and marriage in one motion.
If both spouses are active duty, the odds improve slightly. That is until children are born, then it is no better if as good as when only one is active duty.
2006-09-03 22:57:22 · answer #3 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
To be honest, the military does have programs to help marriages. They offer counseling, they offer supports, getaways and so much more. Its just a matter of you using those resources. Needless to say I don't think its just the military getting divorces, so are civilians. In addition, I always tell people who complain about military life, you knew what you were getting involved with before you were getting married. Military life isn't always easy but when you trully love someone, then its something you do. You find ways to keep the passion when they are gone and as well as the communication. You learn that the little moments count and to treasure those when they come.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-03 23:01:39 · answer #4 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The Army has programs to help spouses individually & as couples. They have programs on controlling abuse & on
not allowing abuse. They have shelters & etc.
The military divorce rate is not that much higher but the number of unfaithful spouses is dramatically higher. The majority being the spouse at home during deployments.
Short of rounding up the civilian spouses & holding them in containment areas to prevent cheating, I do not see what more the military can do.
2006-09-03 23:24:06 · answer #5 · answered by Wolfpacker 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The same reason the rest of the world doesnt take action to lower their own divorce rate.
2006-09-03 23:33:56 · answer #6 · answered by Curt 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I see a lot of people trying to offer up reasons...thats funny.
Why doesn't the civilian sector do something to reduce it's divorce rate?
It is not something you can just send a Soldier to class for and then "poof" he is ready for another 15 years of marriage. Marriage is the bond between two people. The military definately tests that bond, but it is the individuals that decide to stay together or to divorce. Not the military, not your boss, not anyone.
Wish it were that easy.
2006-09-03 22:42:21 · answer #7 · answered by Q-burt 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
actually they do, there are so many programs to help marriages survive, but nobody uses them. the thing with the military is that the service member is gone so much, the spouse gets stressed out from the kids or just from being alone. when the service member gets back, they expect to be spoiled and lots of relaxation, the spouse expects the same thing. it causes friction. they grow apart and then the marriage dies. being in the military can put a huge strain on a marriage. when soldiers come back from deployment they get several briefings on what to expect with their spouse and how to keep their marriage strong. really, what more can the military do?
2006-09-03 22:50:52 · answer #8 · answered by krystal 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
like what?
tell them they can't get divorced? Divorce has to do with the people not the military. It can be a very stressful life - but some people can't hack it.
snglmom - proud of you! I really despise anyone taking advantage of the military...
2006-09-04 01:18:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is NOT a Military Problem -- this is a Problem with Society in General -- but yes, there are Civilian Spouses out there who prey on the Military Servicemember for one reason: The Military Pay and Benefits. This is an unfortunate problem ....
2006-09-04 01:07:49 · answer #10 · answered by sglmom 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋