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My children cry when grammma doesn't know their names or don't want to spend time with them and are always with the other kids and ignores them,,,, nor do they act like they want them at their house,,, i just don't know what to do or tell them,,,,, i cry along with them.... what do i do??????

2006-09-03 15:05:48 · 14 answers · asked by unsure 1 in Family & Relationships Family

14 answers

Talk to the grandparents and tell them that if they're not willing to treat all their grandkids equally, they will not be allowed to see your kids anymore. If they don't care, then you and your kids are better off without them.

2006-09-03 15:10:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

As a general rule, grandparents who have favorites are messed up in the head and are a problem to deal with.

There are a few cases where the parents of the kids, or the kids themselves treat the grandparents like CRAP. Then when the grandparents avoid the family, the parents, who are the real culprits, whine and blame the grandparents themselves


How do I know this? Because my messed up daughter and her husband treat me like crap and I haven't seen their kids in 15 months and have no plans to go back. I like the kids, at least the girl, the boy is a spoiled brat, but refuse to be shouted at and treated like a total idiot for the privilege of seeing the grandkids.

2006-09-03 15:22:13 · answer #2 · answered by retiredslashescaped1 5 · 0 0

Are these your parents or your spouse's?

Ask the grandparents if this is deliberate or not. They may not be aware of the situation.
Hopefully, it is not and you will have made them aware of the problem. Then everyone can work at making it better.

Since your children have noticed, I assume on their own, it may well be that the grandparents know what they are about...it needs to stop. So....

I am sure there are plenty of people out there (church, retirement homes) who would love to be part of your children's lives.

Restrict the amount of interaction your children have with these grandparents.

Be prepared to be the bad guy.

I am really sorry anyone has to go through this.

2006-09-03 15:22:46 · answer #3 · answered by tantiemeg 6 · 0 0

Give up on the heartless grandmother and stay away from her if you can. You wont be able to change the grandmother; but you could look for surrogate grandparents for your children.

Whatever you do, don't make excuses for the actions of this woman with your children, her behavior is atrocious.

Do you go to church or have older friends who might take an interest in your children?

This one is tough, I am sorry for you and your children.

2006-09-03 15:11:05 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

she really shouldn't do that, Most of the children need love from the elderly person so if she did like this the children's feeling is really hurt. i used to feel isolated like that too. i'm also ignored by my relative while i'm with them,too. they acted seem i wasn't there. i didn't speak a word when i was with them. i know you and you children are very hurt to be like this. i tried very hard to be friendly and did something to catch thier interest but nothing better. so now i don't want to think about this painful thing anymore. i try to forget about this and be on my own.i think that they don't need me anymore so why should i worry about this more. hope you can find a peaceful and happiness in your life. you should discuss this matter with your mother. why does she do like this? and try to do it in the right way.

2006-09-03 15:26:30 · answer #5 · answered by venus_scd 2 · 0 0

There's nothing you can do, except try to keep them away from those grandparents as much as you can. I went through the same thing with my kids. My sister's kids were the favorites.

2006-09-03 15:13:36 · answer #6 · answered by IthinkFramptonisstillahottie 6 · 0 0

OK, I know this one REALLY WELL. My wife's parents are Cuban. My wife's sister has two children. Her husband is NOT Cuban. My wife and I have one child. I am NOT Cuban. My wife's brother, although born in the USA, has the family "last name" and married a girl, also born in the USA, who's PARENTS were born in Cuba, and they have one daughter.

Are you getting this, so far?

So, my wife's parents recognize and adore 1 CHILD; their "cuban granddaughter" from their SON. Even when my son had grandparents day at school, the grandfather refused to go, and his grandmother told the entire class that she "never does anything with him."

This USE to make me, my wife, our son, my wife's sister, and her two children crazy with anger. Finally we said "screw both of you." And we now go on with our lives, never visiting them, never talking to them on the phone. We sleep better at night. They can no longer make mind games on all of us. We hear that they BOTH still shower that child with gifts, etc.

PS Because we all work, when our kids were babies, we had the grandparents take care of them. At $15 per child, per day. Yes, that is right. We had to supply everything; food, diapers, etc. My wife's brother's baby - of course, NO CHARGE!! And the grandparents buy the baby clothes, food, etc. Anything she needs. I mean, really it is OUR SON'S BABY.

My wife's mother even called my wife's sister a prostitute one time when my wife's sister complained about having to pay $30 per day for the grandparents to take care of their grandchildren.

Nothing but love!

2006-09-03 15:19:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

talk to them and if they don't want to see your kids you're the lucky one and you're kids are to. they should be a shamed to look in the mirror .i hope your kids have other grandparents who do care so they will still feel the love a good grandparents give . best of luck.

2006-09-03 15:15:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Wow, that's awful.

Personally, I would take my children away from them, so that they don't have to deal with that. The worst thing you can do to a child is deny them love. Usually they assume it because of something they've done.
I wouldn't allow that kind of emotional damage to my children. Screw the grandparents.


Nicholas
http://www.iConfessional.com

2006-09-03 15:13:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

just ask them to spread even attetion throughout all the grandkids in the family if they can.

2006-09-03 15:17:18 · answer #10 · answered by kisses_in_the_rain212 2 · 0 0

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