What would you do if you discovered your daughter was sexually active?

Question

Its been a long time debate ever since we found out our 13 year old neighbor was having sex with a sailor. Many people seem to believe the best idea would be to simply put her on birth control. I dont honestly know how i would go about it but submitting doesnt seem like the right choice.

Answer 1

With a 13-year-old, I would make certain that the child was never unsupervised for a minute. She has lost all her rights to expect reciprocal trust from her parents. I would explain to her that since she has behaved irresponsibly when given some freedom, that she will not have the opportunity for a very long time to make such life-altering mistakes. I would have a very frank and graphic discussion about sex, STDs, pregnancy and the consequences of unprotected sex.

Also, I would immediately call the sailor's CO and press charges for statutory rape through the UCMJ court system. He would not see the outside of the brig for a good long time.

The parents that would just put her on birth control and drop it are weak and irresponsible. They would rather have their daughter be their friend than do what they have to do do save her life. They should be ashamed of their pitiful excuse for parenting.

Answer 2

First of all, she's 13, if she's having sex with a sailor, (prolly over 18) there are some real big issues. 18 year olds don't just have sex with a 13 year old, he probably is a child molester, she's young and may not know the difference. I would call the police, and get the 13 year old in counseling. She probably has issues of her own if she's sleeping with someone of that age, she probably was molested as a young child. Huge issues, do the right thing and get that creep off the streets!!

Answer 3

Peronally I really don't think you should have sex at 13 with ANYONE. In my opinion you should stay a virgin until you are married. Really isn't that what makes it worth while connecting with someone you love with all your heart? Not just some boyfriend or girlfriend but your Husband or Wife.

If that was my daughter I would be very upset with her. I would find out why she had sex and if it was because she had feelings for that man then I would've stripped all her privlages. Read all her in-coming mail and e-mail. If it was because the sailor forced her too then I would throw his butt into court.

Answer 4

If this were my daughter, I would call the police and the sailor's commanding officer. That is rape or child molestation depending on the laws of the state. If she were active with someone her own age, I would sit her down with a counselor that could advise her of the risks and implications of being sexually active, and let her know that I was available for her under any circumstance. And yes- birth control and condoms.

Answer 5

13? My daughter is 17 and still a virgin.
First off, I'd have the sailor's head. He'd be reported to his commanding officer and to the police. Either that or I'd just execute him. And then, they'd have to put me in jail because I would beat the hell out of her.
My daughter is 17, though, and her boyfriend is 18. If I found out she was having sex at this age (which is always a possibility in the future) I'd of course be very, very disappointed and we'd have a very intense conversation about it to be sure. But 13 and having sex with a sailor would get you pounded in my house.

Answer 6

Wow, I sure am glad I have a Son.

I would still worry that he should be aware of STD's and be considering saving himself for a worthy woman, instead of some dirty girl who's already knocking boots at 13.

hmmm, still a loaded question since so many parents think kids should be SOO in the dark about the real world.

Answer 7

I wouldnt react in any respect. via 18 a guy or woman could be responsive to damn nicely the thank you to purchase and use condoms or the pill. And what occurs of their mattress as an person is none of my buisness. I dont enable my mum and dad into my intercourse life at 30 why might i bounce interior the midst of my childs while they're an person? in the event that they're below 18 its a distinctive tale yet at 18 its none of my buisness.

Answer 8

OHHH OHH OHH.. I'd FREAK OUT!!!!! Then I would confront the sailor in my motherly fashion, then set the two of them down together and tell them what I expect from a person the age of 13, which is school school school, not focusing on boys in uniform. Then I'd let daddy handle the talk with the sailor alone in the garage with all of his electrical tools!

I would look up pedophiles, see if he is one, and then consider reporting him for one, since 13 is not the age for girls to be sexually active.

But seriously, after the shock of it all wore off, I'd probably keep a really close eye on the whereabouts of this guy - at all times, and make sure that if he had an interest in my daughter, that he 1) waited till she was 16 before ever being alone with her again, and 2) placed a wedding/engagement ring on her finger before I ever considered him a good person again.

That is if he had JUST turned 18, any older than that, I'd probably be moved to kick his ***, report him to his commanding officer, and let the armed services teach him how to be a real man.

I understand that girls mature faster than boys by about 3 years, but still, 13 is NOT the age to become pregnant, her body is not physically ready to support a child, even if she is already creating the eggs.

Birth control?.. I don't believe in that, I would not consider placing my daughter on that since it can cause medical problems for her in the future. Birth control seems to nullify taking responsibility for actions, that's not the lesson I'd want to give my daughter.

I have a very mature 13 year old daughter, but she's NOT ready for sexual relations, and she's very level headed and aware of older men taking interest in her new curves. Even she thinks that's disgusting, 'why would a grown guy want a teenager, there are plenty of girls closer to their own age'.

Answer 9

That's difficult, because teenagers are very sensitive about everything. I think the best thing to do would be to talk to her about sex, and her body, and her self esteem. Is she having sex for the right reasons, or is she having sex to please him. If she has been in a relationship with the guy for a while, and he is nice, not controlling or jealous or pushy, then that's a safe environment for her to become sexually active. I guess try to gauge why she decided to have sex. If the decision was made after it had been thought through by her, then that's better than being pressured by a pushy boyfriend, or random stranger. Obviously talk to her about contraception, and the risks involved with the different forms of contraception. But I think most important is how she feels about it...is she treating her body like a sperm bank, or actually experincing something she enjoys and choses to do. As I said, it's very delicate as teens are usually sensitive about these things, and talking about them with parents is often difficult and embarrassing, but it is important to guage her attitude towards being sexually active, relationships, and herself.
I think it's important as well that she uses condoms, an STD can be devestating and life threatening.
I was sexually active when I was 14 (it's not against the law where I am, providing you don't have sex with someone more than 2 years older than you), but I was in a good relationship, with I guy I really respected, and who respected me, we were both young, he was a year older than me. I don't regret having sex with him, and I didn't feel pressured to have sex. I didn't lose any respect for myself, and I didn't go out and sleep around. In fact I've never had a one night stand, but I have had alot of lovely fulfilling relationships with people who care for me. As I said, it's her attitude towards herself and her body that's most important.

Answer 10

I would talk to my daughter and first of all find out WHY she is having sex. Once I knew why, that would influence what kind of talk we had and what ground rules were set. I don't really think birth control or submission is the right choice either but if I knew that my daughter was going to have sex no matter what I said or did....I would definately put her on birth control, better to be safe than sorry.