so my moms family HATES me... Im not rude to them or disrespectful tword them unless they act that way to me. but they dont liek that i dye my hair or have piercing. and my aunt hasnt talked to me since may b/c she said that the relationship i was in wasnt a real relationship b/c im to young (im 18) and i was with the guy 3 years and i told her that it her opinon wasnt going to change anything..and my g-pa talks about me behind me my back to my brother... they all tell me i need another job and need to make more moeny..when i alredy have a fine job...none of them act like i have real feelings. what do i do?..im not aplogizing b/c i didnt do anything wrong!
also..
im am sooooooooooooooooooo close to my dads family..i love so them much..so they make up for it!..my cousion on my dads side is like my best friend!..but i still dont know what to do about my moms family.
2006-09-03 14:45:43 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It sounds to me like they weren't able to bend you to their ways of thinking, dressing, acting, etc... GOOD FOR YOU!! You are individual, and they are closed minded. You may never get them to understand you and that will honestly be a sad loss, but to loose yourself ( conform ) to their ways of thinking is an even bigger loss. Stick with your dad's side of the family, they love you for you not what you look like. And try to bare with the others, sooner or later they will let up................. I hope.
2006-09-03 14:52:07 · answer #1 · answered by kim h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's pretty strange...are your mom and dad still together? do they live in the same home? if not, this might be the problem. maybe you remind them a lot of the "ex" son-in-law that they can't stand...I don't know if this could be a "solution" because you didn't specify if your parents were together or not.
If your parents ARE still together, this is very VERY strange. have you ever asked your mother why her family is so rude to you? does she even KNOW that this is happening? I don't see how she COULDN'T know. you and she need to get to the bottom of this..it is not fair to you and this can cause a LOT of mental stress to a young girl (or to ANY person at ANY age). good luck with trying to resolve this issue. I wish you the best
2006-09-03 21:59:01 · answer #2 · answered by one_sera_phim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh I am soooo sorry. I know excatly how u feel. When my uncel got married my step ant and most of her family hate me and my cousions. The best thing to dod is ignore it! Some pepole are grouchy than others. Talk to your mom about how you feel. It probly really herts your feelings that your grandpa talks behind your back. And don't care what your ant thinks. It only matters what makes u happy. So If u ignore your moms famliys rudeness they migth lay off! Good luck!!
2006-09-03 21:57:11 · answer #3 · answered by Blondie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sounds kinda like my problem, I am closer to my dads, even though i go to my moms side more, my grandma only talks to me if she needs something, she did not even call to tell me Happy Birthday, and she knew it was my birthday, and my grandma from dads only gave me $400 a week and my moms only $10 on my b-day and christmas and she is richer that my dad's. Well last night i cried because the treat me like a nobody and my aunt had a baby and all she wants to do is be with it and when i was born i did not even excist, just look at this way, become rich and famous (like me) ecome singer or acteress and then they will regret it, email me at tweety12_2010@yahoo.com you sound cool to talk to....
2006-09-03 21:53:36 · answer #4 · answered by african-american 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl !!! if you dye your hair and have piercings, thats your business and nobody elses.. its your body, your life.. don't worry your not the only one with this problem.. i have some family members like that too.. yea it can be annoying but if you tried your best to work out your relationship with them without surrendering and being yourself , then forget about them... well what im saying may sound a little cruel..but maybe try explaining to them that ''you dye your hair, you have piercings.. you have the boyfriend that they don't like and you have a job that they think its lousy'' tell them that ''this is how im and this is what i have'' and that'' im not going to change anything about myself for anyone.. today , tomorrow or ever'' ( try saying it in the nicest possible way) (i bet that they will still continue talking about you anyways) and if they do, then at least you know you tried... i mean, you don't need their drama... and its not like they did things for you when you were little, like take care of you and stuff because your mom did it... when you tried and failed just try to keep the most minimal contact you can with them.. or if you can't avoid them, then just try not to talk to them and just say something like hi and little stuff like that but don't get to personal with them anymore... anyways i don't know if this made sense to you because this is a complicated subject,, but i hope i helped a little...take care and good luck.. and its a shame that family member could be like that sometimes.. just recently my my grandpa stood in my house.. he had stoped talking to me for days.. and i didn't even tried talking to him back.. days after he apologized..... well at least you have your fathers side of the family.. thats a good thing
2006-09-03 22:43:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have one side of the family that supports you and that is the main thing. You are 18 years of age and old enough to make your own decisions and you do not need approval from your mom's family. You can refuse to associate with them because they effect your mental health by putting you down.
2006-09-03 21:54:48 · answer #6 · answered by older woman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am kind of in the same boat with my Dad's side of my family. I really love my mother's side and they all love me very much too. My father's side are very uptight and can't laugh at anything. You shouldn't have to do anything to prove yourself to them, because I believe family should love you no matter what. Just remember though you don't always have to like them, but you will always love no matter what!
2006-09-03 22:24:53 · answer #7 · answered by Timeinseconds 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Live your life to the best,it's there lost,that they want have anything to do with you,they will regret it one day,you be who you are and be happy,people who talk about others are not happy or they would spend there time doing so,stick with your Dad's side of the family and be treated decent.
2006-09-03 21:52:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that maybe your mom's side of the family is a little intimidated by you and that you are overly sensitive to that. Just be pleasant to them until they realize that you are a real person and hang out with your dad's side more often.
2006-09-03 22:05:17 · answer #9 · answered by Tetsi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you solved this yourself. Your Dad's family. Can you move in with someone there? Can you just move in with a friend and split the rent?
Get your life back! Ur too young to get caught up in this drama. Enjoy your life.
2006-09-03 21:49:17 · answer #10 · answered by microsvc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋