We walk to the school buses in the afternoon together. We get to my bus first, and he hugs me every day before I get on. I think that's really sweet of him and I'd rather have him want to hug me than not hug me at all. Most couples walk there holding hands, or with the boy's arm around the girl. When they part, most of them kiss, just a short smooch on the lips. We don't do any of those things in front of people. I don't even like to hold hands with many people around, other than our friends. I don't know why I feel uncomfortable hugging him in front of everybody. I feel silly not being comfortable with something as small as a hug when some of those seniors are making out. I'm not at all embarrassed about being his girlfriend. Some girls I know are actually jealous of me because they like him. It's not like I don't feel comfortable hugging him at all. We kissed tongues in front of his friend. I would eventually like to be comfortable hugging him in front of other people.
2006-09-03 14:43:38 · 10 answers · asked by Melissa Bunk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How can I get over this discomfort, and how can I ask him nicely to stop until I'm ready, without making him think I don't love him?
2006-09-03 14:43:56 · update #1
Your comfort level is yours alone, Only you can change IF YOU WANT TO...But You may never fully be comfortable with Public displays of affection, there are tons of people out there of various ages who aren't comfortable, It's a modesty thing. If he cares about you he will understand just be honest. Tell him what you wrote here........something like, I like you a lot but I'm just not comfortable with all this just yet...Don't force yourself to do something because you feel it is the thing to do, Go at your own pace, If you force yourself it could possibly cause you to resent your boyfriend later on. Do what you feel is comfortable for you and take it day by day.......
2006-09-03 14:57:32 · answer #1 · answered by Erin O. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discussing it would probably be best. You should be able to agree on a compromise, or taking small steps until you get to where you are both comfortable with. Like maybe if you don't want to kiss or hug, you can squeeze his hand briefly and that will be your private signal instead of a big hug. If that's still too visible to you, maybe you can agree that whenever you scratch your ear it means a hug. It might seem silly at first, but it'll be like a private language that only you two know, and it'll be a secret between you.
2006-09-03 14:58:07 · answer #2 · answered by zandyandi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just think of everyone else who is kissing and holding hands. him hugging you wouldnt be a big deal, and u would blend in. if it helps, pretend theres no one around and hug him back. give him a kiss. once you do these things more, ull get over your discomfort. i know that my ex boyfriend never liked hugging me around people other than my friends, especially his friends. he got over it eventually, but not enough. he never really got a chance, since he broke up with me...
just read my question 'please help? its a long story so bear with me?' if u have any advice for me.
2006-09-03 14:49:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry I would think most girls would like a hug from their bf but if I'm wrong then let me know
2006-09-03 14:47:50 · answer #4 · answered by osunumberonefan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why the heck are you uncomfortable kissing/hugging/holding hands with him in front of people, it shouldn't matter.
But, uhm, you just gotta get experience, eventually you'll get used to it.
2006-09-03 14:46:34 · answer #5 · answered by John 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're not comfortable, just seems to me that you are really not comfortable with him at all.
He is expressing his feelings for you... you should appreciate that and his hug is maybe a family ritual that you do with loved ones. It is touchy situation.
2006-09-03 14:51:58 · answer #6 · answered by BaByHugH 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
gently tell him u are not comfry wth pda i understand u completely i used to date a guy like that but eventually i was ok wth it tell him u do love him u just arent soo comfy wth the whole public display. if he dosent respect that dont stand for it. goodluck hon.
2006-09-03 15:04:25 · answer #7 · answered by blueducky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can talk to him what you just posted. I'm sure he'll understand.
About being confortable, probably time will make you feel at ease by doing that.
2006-09-03 14:46:38 · answer #8 · answered by Roberto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just talk about things that you'll don't like and you bring that up and tell him why you don't like showing affection in public
2006-09-03 14:50:06 · answer #9 · answered by Sammylilbro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you are bashful. If he likes you enough, he will be understanding.
2006-09-03 14:55:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋