My son is in the army and he has been there for 2 weeks and he wants to come home. What legal way can we do?

Question

He joined the army and he wants out what can we do as parents to get him out

Answer 1

If he hasn't completed BMT, he can just quit. They don't tell you that until after you complete BMT, so you're already obligated when you get that info.

If he quits, of course, you are (or he is) out the cost of getting him home -- and the Army may sue him for the costs they incurred in providing him with transportation, room & board and crap like that. If they go that route, though, he's got civil remedy -- but he will need an attorney.

Before completing BMT, the discharge types are either "medical" or "general" or "administrative." There's no "dishonorable discharge" from Basic Military Training. I don't know for sure, but I think a quitter gets an automatic "administrative" discharge.

I originally joined (USAF) for reasons of patriotism and civic duty, but BMT was so much better than the hell I'd endured as a civilian that I wanted to stay: it was the only vacation I can remember having enjoyed.

After I started doing my job, I had to sort out what I thought about killing other people. Originally, I bought the propaganda, but I became privy to certain things that caused me to investigate further, and I came to the conclusion that I was participating in war crimes.

Unfortunately, I had by then a seared conscience, and I decided I could do anything Uncle Sam paid me to do -- after all, it wasn't personal: it was just my job. Within a couple of weeks, I actually got off on the idea that my labor was ending the lives of LARGE numbers of other people.

And then I saw some bootleg photos of my handiwork -- and I realized for the first time that "right" and "wrong" were more than mere linguistic affectations, that "war crimes" were so labeled because they really are utterly reprehensible behavior.

From then until the end of my hitch, I focused my efforts on improving safety for our guys, and dissociated myself from combat operations. I did not re-up.

If after 2 weeks your son doesn't think he belongs there, he doesn't -- and you should get him back. The Army was historically tasked with occupation (a pretty sucky job, considering now that ordinarily means perpetuating a criminal war in either Afghanistan or Iraq) -- so I completely understand there is a principled reason for wanting out.

And I don't buy the notion that a person eventually gets used to it: there is a point at which one loses his or her personal identity (as I did, in the account described above). Halfway through Desert Storm, I didn't want to fly with guys that were stupid enough to believe US propaganda -- and if I'd been on the ground, I sure wouldn't want my life depending on a Bush Administration ideologue.

And the same thing applies to so-called cowards: they don't belong in combat. Of course, I'd say that they don't belong in the White House, either, but that would mean tossing GW Bush (which, come to think of it, ain't a bad idea).

All this should not be construed as legal advice: a LOT could have changed since I got out. Consult an attorney NOW, explaining that you need timely (within the week), competent advice regarding how to get your son back.

Answer 2

As parents the best thing you can do is make sure your son understands you love him but when you make a commitment you have to follow through. I think your sons feelings are very common among young enlisted. It is called home-sickness. It is very hard especially in times of war for all involved. The Army can be a real growing-up experience. It also has a lot to offer. I am an Army Mom. I have seen my son go from a boy to a man in the Army. He is a very good man too! If you raised your son with values and he knows you love him, he will be fine.
What can you do legally? I do not think there is a way, unless he would take a dishonorable discharge. I wouldn't want that for my child.
I have to add, your son will meet all kinds of people in the Army, some good, some bad. There are some exceptional people he will always remember. The exceptional ones are the ones my son remembers best and was proud to serve with. I hope your son meets many exceptional personnel in the Army. I have seen messages left for you on your question that leave me very disappointed in the character of the writer. That is a minority.

Answer 3

First of all, a dishonorable discharge is remarkably hard to get. There are more than two kinds of discharges, and most cases of a soldier being kicked out f the army result in a general discharge. It doesn't look great on a job application, but it's not technically a dishonorable.

Second of all, basic training is set up into two parts. First they break you down, then they build you into a soldier. I'm sure it's awful for a mother to hear that her son is at wits end, but take comfort in knowing that he'll feel differently by the time he's ready to graduate and move on to AIT.

Answer 4

As parents, there's nothing you can do at all. This isn't high school. You can't go talk to his teacher and get him out of class. He made a decision as an adult to sign a LEGALLY BINDING and now he is faced with the repercussions. At this point, it seems as if those are all bad, but as an active duty soldier, I'm telling you from experience so many good things can come out of his decision. Encourage him to be courageous and stick it out. Basic Training is nothing like the real army. He can get through it.

As far as getting out is concerned, there's only two ways: medical and administrative. That means he'll either have to get hurt or get in trouble. Neither one of will get him out QUICKER than just finishing training. It plays like he's hurt, he will stay in the Army and in a Basic Training environment until he is healed or until there is nothing the Army can do for him. If he gets in trouble, he'll have to succumb to whatever punishment he got (which can be as little as 14 days extra duty or as bad a jail) and then he'll have to go through the process of dishonorable discharge. These courses of action can take longer than training would in and of itself.

It's really in his best interest to just stick it out.

Answer 5

First off I'll let ya know up front I'm an infantry drill sergeant here in Fort Benning, GA. Please don't give your son assistance getting out of the army, because alot of kids want out when they first go in, it's natural. The first 3 weeks which are known as total control are by far the worst. If you wanna know all about the do's and don'ts just do a little research by going to army regulation 350-6. Look the best thing you can do for your son is to write him letters and give him support & words of encouragement, and most importantly pray for him. I understand you love your son, and if I wasn't a drill sergeant and didn't know how the system worked and had a son going through what your son was going through I'd be worried to. Just as any good parent should be. But please, please, please listen to me when I say that, the best thing you can do is let your son know that it will only get easier if he just comes to accept it as a way of life for however long he enlisted for, and all these other people out there telling you all of this garbage about it's gonna get harder at the unit he goes to after basic, are wrong. Yeah he'll be accountable for his actions and so fourth, but as far as being messed with, it won't or shouldn't be near as bad as basic, unless he goes to like a ranger battalion. What I'm saying is the truth, I have no reason to lie to you. If you're still worried please feel free to email me, and I'll be more than glad to assist you.

Answer 6

At this point there is absolutely nothing you can do to get him out. According to the service, whether it's the Army, Navy, Marines or whichever, the minute you are in----They own you! You are theres. There is no such thing as a hardship case at home either, not any more.

Answer 7

I'd listen to Rachel. And I completely agree.

Getting him out would be a mistake - not only a dishonorable discharge but he needs to learn that when he makes decisions that he needs to follow thru. He can't just quit cause the going gets a little hard if you know what I mean.

Answer 8

Your son is a whiny little beyotch and a pu$$y on top of it....i wish you all the luck in the world in getting him out of an Army that most likely doesn't even want a little mama's boy like him anyway.
After he gets home, make sure you all put a bullet in your brain and eliminate yourselves from the gene pool so we don't have to worry about this anymore.

Answer 9

Tell him to hang in there. If hes in his first 2 weeks of basic training then of course he hates. Look at the difference 7 weeks from now.

Answer 10

You shouldn't do a damn thing. You need to stop trying to cosset him and let him face a few rigors on his own. How do you expect him to grow up if you're going to be there to keep him from learning that life isn't about escaping, rather that it's about working your way through the problems at hand? Get out of his way and let him grow up.