I met this girl on the internet, after talking for weeks, we dated, talked on the phone for hours, and then basically spent almost the entire weekend together, no intercourse, but very intimate. It seemed like a perfect weekend. Suddenly, last Monday I received an email about not wanting a totally committed relationship. So, we went from hot to cold overnight. She says she just wants to slow down, continue to date others and continue to see me. I don't want to be the lap puppy, I think she's scared because we got serious fast. Now, I am confused about how to pursue this relationship. I feel like she is being honest with me about her feelings, but then again can one really be certain. We continue to date, but I guess I just want to hear what others think. I'm not a game player, so I have been clear that I want to see her. She has said the same thing, just not committed. Is this worth the wait or am I wasting time?
2006-09-03 14:07:51 · 13 answers · asked by the kid 14 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are waisting your time
2006-09-03 14:30:06 · answer #1 · answered by prince 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I think that we all have a notion that somehow people on the net are "safe" for us, you know? They're not totally real or anything... and we can spill our guts and be really open and not have to face them come Monday morning.
Once you bring an internet relationship into your REAL life, it's a little scary. It's like "Uh oh... this guy is real! These feelings are real (or are they???) and this is the real deal!! (or is it????)" and nerves of steel are suddenly all melted in fear.
She's probably feeling like this was all very sudden because it started off with you on a screen somewhere. Now you're real... and she's got the jitters. Give her time to sort through what she's feeling and if it's meant to be, it will be. Give her time and move at the speed of any normal "offline" relationship. Spend as much time in person as you can and try to keep the internet part to a minimum.
She'll figure out soon enough that just because you started off by internet, you're not just destined to be internet buddies.
2006-09-03 14:15:35 · answer #2 · answered by thegirlwholovedbrains 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with what the other person said about telling her how you feel about being a lap puppy. Additionally, tell her that you're not interested in playing games, that you had a great time with her, and that you were hoping for something a little more exclusive than what she is offering you now. If you are not willing to wait for her to sort out her desires...tell her that. If you are...tell her that too, but beware...if you are looking for commitment and she is looking for convenience, the odds are stacked in her favor. If/when it all ends, you will be the one who "invested" more into the potential relationship and therefore you also will be the one who will hurt more in the end.
This may not be the most correct advice, but it's my suggestion:
You tell her straight up..."I'm not willing to continue like this. I'm willing to be exclusive with you but only if you will do the same. If you are not ready or willing to do that, then I need to move on."
It's much better to be alone with your sanity and peace of mind than to be in relationship "limbo" not knowing if you have or don't have a girlfriend because you are waiting for someone to figure out what they want.
2006-09-03 14:22:19 · answer #3 · answered by iipiki_okami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She made it clear that she is seeing other people, so there wouldn't be any point in seeing her again unless you were fine with it. I think you should just be happy that you had a romantic weekend with her & continue to meet other people yourself. You obviously feel more for her than she does for you, if she felt the same she would be with you and no-one else. There are lots of other nice girls out there & when you meet them you won't feel confused anymore. The longer you see her the more you will feel hurt.
2006-09-03 14:24:16 · answer #4 · answered by CJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she likes keeping her options open. Which means that she isn't as much into you as you into her. If she felt the same as you, it would be different. You need to find another girl or two or three to date yourself. Maybe later down the road a year or two, you might be on the same path as her again and things can work out.
Good luck.
2006-09-03 14:13:43 · answer #5 · answered by Kathy C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know how you feel about not wanting to be a lap puppy. Let her know you are interested in being with her but you can not put your life on hold for her ... Or just back off a little and see how it goes. It might be if you seem a little less interested she will rethink how exclusive she wants to be.
2006-09-03 14:12:16 · answer #6 · answered by That's my final answer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds a bit funny to me, i would tell her yes i will slow down BUT why continue to see other men as well, it dosent seem right, just talk online & ask her to explain why, if she dosent give you a proper answer then i would consider finishing it, you may have had a near perfect weekend BUT she is labeling herself as a knock around, & you dont want one of them do you,
2006-09-03 14:19:26 · answer #7 · answered by KATIEKAT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect the fact that she is being honest, take it slow like she says, try not to let your feelings get hurt.
2006-09-03 14:10:47 · answer #8 · answered by TAWNIE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe she was seeing someone when she met you. Its ok if she wants to see others and not commit but if she starts having sex with you than shes probably having it with others too. Than I would say solong.
2006-09-03 14:17:41 · answer #9 · answered by Lynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you didn't drive for 7 hours and spend 300 bucks on the whole trip.
2006-09-03 14:11:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it slow with her...She feels she is moving too fast and you need to respect her wishes. Only time will tell what happens next.
2006-09-03 14:11:48 · answer #11 · answered by Miss J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋