My cousin only talks to me when she's my herself but if she with her friends; she stares at me, she ignores me & she tells people she showed me how to dress & dance!!! Which of course its totally untrue she the one copying me, she buys the same pair of jeans & the exact shirt...ohhh she just q on my nervous but i try to be nice!!! Why do u think she's like that?
2006-09-03 12:51:08 · 32 answers · asked by solymar 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
To make herself feel better at your expense. She's one of those "friends" that I like to call, users. People like that, I drop quick and treat them like your average basic person with respect, but as far as friendship goes or any sort of closeness, nope. All gone, and never to return. Talk to her about it first to see if she is a real friend enough to listen and understand you. But if she just doesn't care, and only wishes to act fake, or if she changes only for the moment, then goes back to the way she is now without care, be done with her and don't turn back. No need to waste emotional time on that friendship.
2006-09-03 12:52:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your cousin has some Insecurity Issues that she has to deal with. She's okay with confiding in you in private and when there's no one around. However, when she's with her friends whom she's trying to impress, she tries to put up on an act.
It could be that the friends she's with have expectations of her so she tries to live up to those expectations of being cool by taking an air of condescension so that it creates the facade of Superiority, which is unfortunately at your expense.
The interesting thing is that she's pushing forward her version of events, and since you don't say anything, she wins by default. Don't be surprised that if you speak out or say that's untrue embarrassing her in front of her friends by providing a rebuttal, she will most likely get mad at you.
Maybe you don't have to confront her in such a manner, but I can say that if you continue to tolerate that behavior, it can get worse and even spill into her adult life where she'll be doing the same thing if someone doesn't keep her in check.
The ways he stares at you and ignores you in public is not very nice. If she wants to hang out with you in private, you should start impressing some rules of etiquette regarding what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior.
You should explain to her how her behavior is inconsiderate and ask how she'd feel if the situation was reversed if you did those things to her in front of your friends treating her like a social outcast, but being two-faced about it where she's fine with accepting your company when her friends are around.
2006-09-03 13:01:36 · answer #2 · answered by "IRonIC" by Alanis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure this is hurting you a lot, thanks for asking this question, she is really confusing you, at one time she is good and at other times she is mean. Sounds like your cousin has a very low self esteem. She thinks big of you, she surely likes your choice of clothes, your style and your confidence may be. Do not let her control your feelings, she really is because you have confessed she gets on your nerves, dont let her!
You are allowing her to control you. Talk to her when she is alone and ask her why she does that in public. Ask her what bothers her about you and tell her you would like to be of help to her. If she like buying what you buy it is clear she likes your taste of clothes. Its again a choice what you want, do you want to help her or just ignore her?
It is easy for people to hurt others because they are hurt from within, thats the only way they know to communicate. Its sad your cousin is in pain from within.
2006-09-03 13:04:28 · answer #3 · answered by thachu5 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because she is young and immature, meaning she's still learning in this wonderful world. As you mature, you will understand why she's like that. Well, when you get a chance to confront her, then do it and ask her why she's doing that. But if you don't want to ruin your relationship with her, talk to her in the way that she won't get offended, nor will create a grudge between you two. Also, don't give too much attention to those things, it will just ruin your time. Do your best to be the best you can, and everybody will know who you really are.
2006-09-03 12:58:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well honey sometimes people are so insecure in who they really are that they feel like they need to be someone else to fit in. The main thing is for you to keep your head up and know that you are you and evidently you must be special or your cousin wouldn't want to be so much like you. If the time comes just tell her that you don't have time in your life for fair weather friends.
Good luck
2006-09-03 13:11:21 · answer #5 · answered by Feather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wish u wouldnot let this bother you, she has the problem not you, she is insecure,she is jealous of you that is why she will not talk to you in front of her friends, she is afraid they will like you best, she copies your dress because that is the highest complament you can pay someone but she does not no that , donot be angry with her but try to help her to see you only want to help her to be her friend, not put her down in any way or steal her friends, maybe if you wear something she liked she would see you would meet her half way, be nice, be kind, be understanding you catch more bees with honey then vinagar.
2006-09-03 13:02:34 · answer #6 · answered by travelin man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are like that. Your cousin can be doing it for many reasons, maybe she's jealous of you, maybe she doesn't want her friends to like you because she thinks they'll like her less...there can be may reasons. The main thing is, she still is family, so you continue to treat her well and maybe one day she'll grow up and stop playing games.
2006-09-03 12:55:25 · answer #7 · answered by Inilan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you're not standing up for yourself. next time she's treating you badly in front of her friends and then comes back to you when she's alone, confront her about it. tell her that you are not interested in being friendly with her one on one unless she treat you with respect in front of others. Be strong to walk away from her. She is like that now because you let her get away with it.
2006-09-03 13:46:27 · answer #8 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to seriously pull her to the side and explain to her that you guys are family. You are suppose to be tighter than any stupid friendship that she has. Let her know that if she can't respect you as family then she needs to back off and leave you alone.
2006-09-03 12:53:25 · answer #9 · answered by adkfoaiefnafedw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is jealous and insecure.She doesn't know who she really is as in her own person. Whatever you do don't let her know she bothers you or she will do it more. Act like everything is OK and maybe she will stop being so childish.
2006-09-03 16:04:58 · answer #10 · answered by Linda R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋