Wedding etiquette which is the right way, grooms parents contact brides parents first or the other way around?

Question

my friend is getting married, and i was wondering which is the right way to do wedding etiquette...also is it true the brides parents plan the wedding and the grooms plan the rehearsal????
please if u noe anything, tell me.

Answer 1

Go to www.theknot.com and you will know more about weddings that you ever hoped to know. It is one of the very best wedding resources on the web.

Generally the groom's parents contact the bride's first, after the couple has announced their engagement to both sets of parents, although either set of parents can extend that first communication. Usually one set of parents invites the other (plus the newly engaged couple) over for lunch or dinner so that everyone can start to get to know each other.
Either at this meeting or another one later on, all parties should sit down and voice their opinions about how many people will be invited, how the wedding is going to be paid for, etc.

It is traditional that the bride's parents plan and pay for the wedding and the groom's plan and pay for the rehearsal dinner, but these days anything goes and often the engaged couple plans most of the wedding and if possible they pay for at least a part of it too.

Remind your friend that he (or she) who pays, buys their opinion into the mix, so if her parents are paying for the wedding, she should expect that they will have some of their own expectations of how the wedding will be.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

First of all, do not assume anything, because every couple is different, every set of parents is different, every personal circumstance is different, and every wedding is different. Traditionally, the Bride's Mother and Father HOST (plan, organize, and pay for) the wedding and reception BUT that does not mean it applies to every wedding. And here's four recent real life examples . . The Bride and Groom were "well paid" professionals and they paid for their own wedding in its entirety. They paid for all of the bridesmaids gowns and tuxedo rentals for the gentlemen plus each attendant was given $500 for weekend lodging or travel expenses. The Bride's parents were divorced for many years. The Bride's Mother paid for everything. The Bride's Father did not pay for anything nor did he offer. And the Groom's Father did not pay for anything nor did he offer. Neither the Bride's Father nor the Groom's Father names were put on the wedding invitation. The Groom's Mother and Father paid for everything. The Bride's parents did not even attend the wedding. The Bride's sister and brother-in-law paid for the reception (banquet room rental, food, beverages, and live band) and the Bride and Groom paid for everything else. The only way to solve this dilemma is to invite both sets of parents to your home, if possible, or some quiet place to discuss this subject. By having an open and candid discussion everyone knows what each person is willing to do (or not do). I have always found that if the Bride and Groom paid for 1/3 and the Bride's parents pay for 1/3 and the Groom's parents pay for 1/3 it works out well. And this division should also apply to the guest list, a specific number of guests should be determined like 100 people, and then each couple is permitted to invite about 33 people. Your wedding should not be about "control" or "who's in charge." Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Answer 3

In the past, the rules about who pays for what, and who makes introductions were much more strict. Today, rules have relaxed. Here are some basic guidelines...

Introductions:
Tradition dictates that the groom's family calls and introduces themselves to the bride's family and arranges a meeting. If the groom's parents do not make the first introduction, then the bride's parents should. Nowadays, who makes the first call is irrelevant; all that really matters is that the parents meet. If meeting face to face is impossible, a letter or phone call will suffice.

Who Pays for What:
The bride's family traditionally paid for the reception, invitations and announcements, wedding consultant, bride's attire, and transportation for the wedding party. The groom’s family traditionally paid for the marriage license, officiant, bride's bouquet, boutonnieres, rehearsal dinner and honeymoon. Today, the division of financial duties is far more subjective – with families divvying up expenses according to ability and desire to contribute.

Hope this helps - http://www.elegala.com/etiquette.html

Answer 4

well my daughter is getting married in a year and neither family has contacted the other so I don't know what the answer is. we are all polite and friendly to each other..The traditional way is the brides father pays for the wedding and the grooms father pays for the rehearsal dinner but it seems really unfair when weddings cost so much now days

Answer 5

There are no hard and fixed rules, but since the bride's family usually pays for the wedding, the grooms family usually pays for the rehearsal dinner, if there is one, rehearsal, that is.

Answer 6

It is customary for the bride's family to plan and pay for the wedding ,although if they can't afford it or the groom's family want to invite more people or have extras,the groom's family or the bride & groom can offer to chip in.
The groom is generally responsible for the band, the flowers and the rehersal dinner.
Best wishes to you.

Answer 7

The bride's parents should be the first to contact the groom's parents. You are right about the other questions.

Answer 8

These days, since usually both are working, they plan their own wedding and pay for it, but usually meet with both sets of parents to deal with plans, date, guestlists, etc..