Would you be insulted?

Question

...if your boyfriend/girlfriend asked you to sign a pre-nup to get married?

I know it is a common thing to do, but I think it is rude. People should know each other well enough and not be thinking of the bad side of things when it comes to the future.
(Doesn't seem to evoke powerful, loving thoughts for the future, in my opinion.)

Answer 1

Look at it this way.. when you are engaged and get married, everything is peachy.. you are so in love and you can't IMAGINE ever feeling any other way.. but the years go by and you grow apart.. you find out the person you married isn't at all the person you thought they were.. or they [or you] just become someone the other simply cannot live with. Time changes people in all sorts of ways.. so the time comes when one of you wants a divorce. The other doesn't.. and throws a fit! They become this ugly, bitter, hurtful person you never knew could live inside that person you once loved. They decide that revenge is, indeed, sweet, and they decide to TRY and take you for anything and everything in the divorce. Without the pre-nup, you are sunk. Without the pre-nup, that other person can get by with a lot. WITH the pre-nup, you avoid all that ugliness and fighting. Everything is right there in print for all the world to see. Now, I know that isn't a pretty thought, but it IS reality. Hopefully, your marriage would never be that way, but many are.. that pre-nup, even though HE has it drawn up, must satisfy YOU just as it does him.. so, in the end, it also PROTECTS you just as it does him. Don't be insulted by it.. consider it a safety net.. consider it a simple act of practicality.. and then work VERY hard to keep your marriage good and full and comlete. Then the pre-nup becomes something taking up space in the safe deposit box for all eternity.

Answer 2

Insulted?

Yea, a little then I would be happy that he was thinking of our relationship. A pre-nup is only insurance if things go wrong in the relationship. Divorce is bad enough a pre-nup helps to keep it a little more civil. Are their things that you have that you don't want to give up? If so then include them in his pre-nup, both sides are important in this. What about the kids? Now we are starting to get into the area of Wills so think about that as well. If you should come to an end then are there things that you don't want to leave to your potential husband, maybe things that you want your mother, your sister, or even your little girl to have. Don't try to make it a tit for tat argument, only do this for something important. Say you have your mother's necklace and you want it to go to your first-born daughter. If these things are written down somewhere in a legal fashion then it will be a lot easier to settle possible future arguments.

When couples divorce they often strike out at each other. One will want the family dog because they know the other wants it more, and they can hurt them with it. A pre-nup can clear up some of these things. Does he have wealth that he earned before he met you. If so then he is only trying to protect it. It was the fruit of his labor, after all. Isn't better to settle some of these things before you get divorced, if that terrible end should happen, then when the time comes and both of your are trying to hurt each other?

If you still feel insulted then remember that Catherine Zeta Jones had to sign a pre-nub before Michael Douglas would marry her. They seem to be still happily married despite it. If you still feel insulted, and if that matters more than your feelings for him, then cut your losses and run.

A pre-nup is always rude to require, but it is insurance to settle things if the unfortunate happens. It is an example of foresightedness. It is also an example that there are some things he may care about more than you. You have to be the judge. Paul McCartney didn’t have a pre-nup for his last marriage; now that it has ended he is going to be in a major fight to hold on to what he has collected long before he ever met his last wife. He also has some things that once belonged to his former wife Linda. Do you think he wants to give any of that up? Do you think she should get half of all he has earned until now? He can afford to give her a lot, but half of everything?

You have to decide. If he is trying to protect personal items then it won’t be so bad. If he seems to somehow be trying to cheat you then you know that you don’t want to marry the man. Find out what his pre-nup includes, add a few things of your own and then see how the relationship is. This can be a real test of your love for each other. Make sure to read ALL of it before signing and talk with a lawyer. Laws differ between the states so apportioning the wealth can be difficult.

Answer 3

If you love the guy so much, you shouldn't be offended by the concept. Since you'll never give him any reason to divorce you, it's all a formality, right?


more marriages end in divorce than survive.

Most divorces are not amicable.

One party in a divorce usually has much more to lose.

If this were still a world where people married, and then grew old together then it wouldn't be an issue.

However, marriages are DEFINATELY not "Forever and ever amen" and are growing increasingly shorter on average year after year.

as of 1997, the average marriage in the us was just over 9 YEARS.

in 9 years a loving wife can turn easily into a money grubbing *****.


35% of married women admit to having had an affair
42% of married men admit to it.

(no telling the actual numbers)

that means, if you took 1 million married couples (2 million people) you have 770,000 unfaithful people, or almost 2 out of 5 people are going to be cheated on.


Oh, and to the poster way up to the top

Prenups aren't because the person wants to protect themselves for their OWN wrongdoing. Prenups are to protect against someone ELSES wrongdoing.

Answer 4

Well, I think it depends on how old I am when enter into the marriage contract. This may seem strange, but listen.

If you are young and just starting out, you don't have a lot of money or security. Both the bride and groom could go without a pre-nup.

If you are older and have an established career, you may want to protect your assets. True, you are in love and should trust one another. However, in today's world, 50% of marriages end in divorce. So, the idea of a pre-nup is to protect one's assets prior to marriage.

Answer 5

I wouldn't be insulted. Given that money is what divorcing people argue about most of all, having a prenup would make those arguments moot. People are too idealistic when they get married. Money is the most common subject of disagreement in most marriages. Preparing for a prenup might even help the couple talk about the difficult topic of finances if they have been avoiding it, or if they are just hoping everything will go smoothly. When you think you're in love, you're not in a normal state of mind, and it's tempting to avoid difficult subjects so as not to spoil the great feeling.

Answer 6

I'd like to see the answers to this question posted 25 yrs from now.I'd think it would depend on your age at marriage.In an ideal world,you wouldn't need a pre-nup,but lets face facts. Who in this day and age knows what their lives will be like in 10yrs? For this reason alone,it may seem more like a business contract.

Answer 7

If you think a Pre-Nup is rude, you should see a Divorce proceeding. Try thinking of it this way: If it doesn't work out, then you can be friends because you didn't have to have a fight over who gets the bedsheets or the dishes.

Answer 8

I think it's a little rude too but it's entirely reasonable. It would take a certain level of sober maturity to deal with. Though it might detract from the passion of the situation, it's probably agood idea for a lot of couples. And heck, if there are kids involved in the future, it's a good thing not to have the parents locked in for years of litigation and arguing. People go crazy and they can mess things up with everybody they know.

Answer 9

It really depends. if either member of the relationship has accumulated a decent to large amount of wealth previously to this relationship then they are just protecting what they earned and a prenuptial agreement is justified.But if they request one for most any other reason then they are planning on the marriage failing and they just want a easy way out of the marriage should it fail they should not even get married at all.A marriage is a series of compromises,give and take and even the best ones take fine tuning and adjustment throughout it's course and a prenuptial agreement offers a quick,easy and cowardly way to avoid all of that in case of any difficult times in a marriage.

Answer 10

I am a widow and if I should remarry I would like a pre-nup. I think the possessions I accumulated over the past 40 years should go to my children and visa versa for him.