They had kids together, but he is now engaged to me (a black girl) would it be in the back of your mind that if he went white the first few times, and ended up marrying a white girl then white is really what he wants. I don't have a problem with interracial couples, and I love him and his kids but he had some really bad experiences with his ex-wife, and I just don't want to be the black girl he's with because white girls did not work out for him. I mean what ever attracted him to them in the first place has to still be there because for a while that was his type it may even still be his type. I just don't want to approach him with this because it might not go over well. But I don't want to be the black girl because the white ones did not work out.
2006-09-03 12:04:02 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know what you are feeling because i felt the same way only it was the other way around. People will always have a preference and sometimes that changes and sometimes it doesn't. It's not about the race that bothers you, it's because he likes something that you can never be. It's something you could never change. But as long he doesn't go around checking white girls out all of the time I wouldn't worry about it. I would look at it different. He tried out white girls and it's not what he wanted. He chose you because he loves you and if he wanted another white girl he would've tried to get another one because you can have bad experiences with anyone no matter the race.
2006-09-03 13:45:22 · answer #1 · answered by billy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
My husband and I are both white. We both dated many other races. Not because of race.
There are many different levels of attraction. Beauty is beauty. I am sure that you can look at all colors of men and find some attractive, and others not so much.
Then, there is the personality...same as above.
Obviously, a man wouldn't be with you if he didn't find you both attractive physically and personally. He is not stupid. If you are concerned about the race issue...that is your issue and not his.
He loves you, not because of your color...but, because of you.
If you are in a solid relationship...you should privately discuss it with him. Say, "I know this seems silly...and I don't want it to come off wrong...but I have these worries and feelings....could you help me to understand."
He should be telling you "why" he is with you.
And, I ended up marrying the same race...that is just the way it worked out. Not because of race choices...but, because of people choices.
Good luck,
Stephanie
2006-09-03 12:14:14 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may of thought that white girls would be the only women that would take him, obvousliy it was a mistake and didnt quiet work out. So this does not mean that he should be with a white women. Plus its not all about the color and uve stated that. So good luck girlfriend~just know if he loves u, he loves u, and ur not white!
2006-09-03 12:07:41 · answer #3 · answered by Skye 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait. Are each and all of the ladies folk you're going after married/engaged/in relationships? this is probable the biggest project suitable there. there is have been given to be some ladies accessible that at the instant are not in relationships. If ladies that are already taken are flirting with you, relish it, yet do not anticipate this is going to pass everywhere (besides, do you rather should be with a woman that cheats?).
2016-10-01 06:45:44 · answer #4 · answered by whiteford 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's never about race, but about your heart. If you love him and he loves you that is all that matters. I am a white girl engages to a black man and I have never once even thought about his past. He tells me daily that he loves me and why he loves me. I know exactly what it is that he loves about me and that will never change. Race is the last thing that you should worry about when you are in love.
2006-09-03 12:17:07 · answer #5 · answered by ctmudcreek 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are over reacting. Evidently you have something special that caught his attention. If he wanted a white girl, I'm sure he would have been with a white girl. I hope he would not let one or two mess it up for all of them.
2006-09-03 12:10:24 · answer #6 · answered by colleyshey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone is attracted to many different types of people, I don't think your guy cares if you are white or black...he might have falled for a white girl before hand BUT now he is attracted to you!
2006-09-03 12:06:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I absolutely don't think this is true. You have nothing to worry about. I don't think that this is a color thing, I also don't think that there is such a thing as "type", Don't worry! You are who he wants to marry, not anybody else, White or Black, you are who he loves!
2006-09-03 12:08:03 · answer #8 · answered by gabbyG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could just be that he grew up around white girls and the black girls didnt pay him any attention at that time..
but i know (im married though) that if i dated a black guy and he had only black girls previous.. id not think he went wrong with black women.. id think that i had something to offer him that he was looking for.. and hopefully it was something that resulted in long term..
2006-09-03 12:07:52 · answer #9 · answered by Min 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Listen dear this is quite a concern for you and I think you should
step back and look at what you have , if this man love you and you him, then what difference does it make who was first. Love him enough to talk about it with him
2006-09-03 12:08:58 · answer #10 · answered by Louisa R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋