weeks pregnant. growing up mom was an alcoholic and couldn't support herself. Eventually I let her move in with us. I live in a three bedroom house and she had her own room for a while. Now we made her room the nursery and put a little cot bed in there for her to sleep on. Now she helps me out with watching my daughter and helping with daycare kids. She doesn't work outside the home. Here is what shes doing: if my husband and i have a spat she makes little comments about it to egg me on to continue to be mad...She tries to parent my daughter...She doens't igknowledge being a mad mom. She will feed her when she wants...she will put her too bed before I even have a chance to. She acts like shes running her. ANd recently shes been making comments about having to get up with the baby because her beds in the nursery. She will also say things like I won't be puttin ghte baby in the crib that way. Like she is going to parent this one too. What do I do? She is driving me crazy?
2006-09-03 11:59:13 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
This is complicated. You've got yourself into a big mess. I personally would tell my mother that I appreciat the help physically, but not the verbal criticism. As long as she lives in your home she is to be as helpful around the house as she wishes to be. You do not want her advice unless it is asked for. I would tell her that she has done a great job of raising you, but now it's time that she allow you to raise your children as you see fit. Unless you are doing something wrong to these children she shouldn't be so worried and not to feel that she is obligated to take care of your children. My mother comes over to my house about 2 to 3 times a week and she has on occasion spoke her mind and I just let it go. She doesn't really ever tell me what to do. If worse comes to worse let her know that if she can't contro herself that she can always find another place to stay. That's just how I would handle my mother. I don't know all the details to your life so no one can really tell you how to handle this. Just do your best and express the way that you feel to her. Let her know that you appreciate all the help she gives and that you don't mean to hurt her feelings but..... ( fill in the rest ) I think that she needs to butt out of your's and your husbands affairs unless you ask for her opinion. Even then she should say that she thinks that you two need to work it out by yourselves. I wish you all the best, try to calmly, and lovingly express how you feel about her involvment in your family affairs.
2006-09-03 14:37:37 · answer #1 · answered by G.D.Bradberry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you love your mom to death and appreciate the help she gives, but she has to realize that you are grown with your own family. Mom should get her own place. Even though she's helping, she's also hendering. You and your husband need to grow and have your own arguments and raise your kids without her trying to run your kids because maybe she didn't get a chance when you were a child. Not to be harsh but that's just the truth. Mom needs her own life. Tell her to be grandma and not a second mom to you or your children. Your husbands' a good man for being their in the mist of things.
2006-09-03 12:12:24 · answer #2 · answered by bj s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your mom needs to go support herself. Why do you think it is your responsibility to help her? If she has made some poor choices in her life, she should be responsible to grow and become a better person. Allowing her to remain in your home and continue the craziness that you experienced as a child is not fair to you, or your husband or children. Give her a month to find other living arrangements and then get on with YOUR life. Do not continue to enable her in any way. Be prepared to stand your ground, as she will probably try to guilt trip you. If you cannot bring yourself to let her go, then I suggest you get into some counseling with someone who specializes with co-dependency/alcoholism.
2006-09-03 12:26:45 · answer #3 · answered by godsgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is your mom and playing the "mother role". She will continue to give you advice and butt in because its almost instinctive. In her eyes, she prob. doesn't recognize that she was a bad mom, and chooses to remember only the good things she did. The trouble now, is that you are almost in the role of being her caretaker. It sounds like its time that she gets on her own feet. You need her out. Tell her you love her, appreciate what she does for you, will help her locate a new place, but your family needs its alone time and the space limitations are concerning you. Its hard, but she needs to get out . You need to establish yourself as your child's parent, and you can't fully do that with her there. Good luck!
2006-09-03 12:11:23 · answer #4 · answered by Just Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know how you feel and be honest, tell her you enjoy her help but you only have three bedrooms and it is hard to put three adults and two children in a three bedroom house. Let her know that you love her but you think it is time for you and her to look for a place for her to live that she can afford because you have a new baby to take care of and you know that she is having to share a room with the baby. Tell her raising your children is yours and your husbands responsibility and that you will listen to her opinions and if the child is doing something wrong to correct the child but to please obey your wishes. Lots of luck two families in one house is not easy.
2006-09-03 12:13:59 · answer #5 · answered by debpo_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marryng an illegal does not, under any circumstances, give citizenship to either spouse. Nor does it allow an illegal to remain in the country. Marriage to a person living OUTSIDE the country can provide a visa to the foreign spouse, but only once Immigration performs extensive inquiries to determine that the marriage is valid, and not a sham. It would be extremely unlikely that such a marriage would be approved for a spousal visa.
2016-03-26 21:00:35 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her it's your house and your child and if she doesn't like the way you do things, she can move out.
Seems like she's trying to make up with your child where she failed with you. She probably feels guilty for not being there when you were growing up and wants to try and make things right. You need to tell her that she's had her chance and now it's your turn to raise a family, your way, not hers.
2006-09-03 12:02:19 · answer #7 · answered by freetronics 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to make your mom move out & also continuously stop her from overruling you with your child. Her staying there is not only going to keep upsetting you but it might be the reason you have some difficulties with your husband.
2006-09-03 12:09:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're being a little edgy, that's a natural feeling for everybody wants to be entitled to each his own way of dealing with things. But I believe your mom just wants to help
you out, that's her way, in her mind, of helping yout while hanging out in your house. Maybe you can talk to her about how you would want things to be run in your house. This may offend her but its always better to talk it out first.
2006-09-03 12:12:37 · answer #9 · answered by mother mission 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you and your husband need to set her down and put her in her place. This is your home and she is a guest. She needs to be reminded that she is the grandparent not the parent. She needs to be thankful that you let her live with you. She needs to respect your roles as parents.
2006-09-03 12:06:33 · answer #10 · answered by pa_susie99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋