Men Only...What am I doing wrong? Serious responses PLEASE.?

Question

Ok i'm single and not trying to find but open to and ready for a relationship. I am 28, have 1 child, live alone, work for a fortune 1000 company, cook daily, clean house daily, well read, well traveled (17 countries), intelligent, confident but not arogant, fairly submissive, outgoing, slave to pampering a man (bad habit but hard to break). I don't ask for anything I believe what you want me to have you will offer.

I didn't mention looks because my opinion is biased of course but I must be beautiful because I meet men daily, several times a day no matter where I go or what i'm wearing. I know for myself I have a fabulous shape 36D, 30, 42. From the south you know how we do it.

Anyway everyman I meet (from all walks of life) is horrible!! They want me to take care of them or I can't get them to do ANYTHING at all, i.e. work, go to school, take out the trash, nothing. Help me.

Answer 1

I have seen a lot of couples where a man or a woman would treat their mate like crap, while that mate would complain they would not leave for a while if at all. Then I see a woman or a man treating their mate super nice and they return nothing but trash and stress.

I guess relationship is like a pot of food, a man and a woman each cook it with care, if she adds 70% of care, he adds the rest 30%. If he doesn't care about adding anything more than 10% and if she cares that much, she will add those missing 20% at her own expense. You see where I'm goin by this...

Also a dominance and submission theory can be applied to relationships. If people hurt you, most of the time it is because you let them. A lot of times it is like hunt I guess, if you are very nice in a relationship, it can be taken for weakness instead of niceness. You gave in and doing everything for them easy, it is no challenge, so they move on.

Possible solution to this situation would be for you to start caring more about yourself than you are right now especially when it comes to relationships. If you are a gem of a woman the way you say you are, you have to make men work for you harder than they were. They should appreciate you more when they had to jump higher. Best in this life should not be easy to get. Now that tactic can possibly fail miserably :), and to add to that you can loose some men that don't deserve the run around. However, judging from the way you say you choose men that might be a tactic for you

All of that still doesn't change the fact that you are treated unfairly, treat people the way you want to be treated...why it doesn't work then, right? Well life is freakin not fair, and as soon as you stop givin a crap, then opportunity starts to come around...it's a catch 22. But! If you keep believing and appreciate yourself little more while keeping your heart pure and mind clear, I am sure things will work out for you better.

Answer 2

Since I am oldest enough to be your daddy, then please take my
advice go to any major bookstore chain likes Books a Millions and
buy a national bestseller book: Why MEN LOVES BITCHES &
WHY MEN MARRIES BITCHES. I highly recommend these two
books. These are the best self empowerment books that I have
ever read. If you lived near me, I would give you lessons on how
to get a man to worship the ground that you walks on . It is very
hard to discuss all of my lessons that I needs to teach.I would tell
you how to get every man that you met to call you. You are too
much a doormat. Very few women know how to train a man.
Unfortunate most men are just boys masquerading as men
If you are tired of Putting up with Men BULLSH*T, THEN BUYS
THESE TWO BOOKS Just to let you knows: I 've these qualities
1. college educated. 2. don't have a criminal record
3. never have used illegal drugs 4. never have fathered any kids n
5. have no mental health issues 6. have no gay experiences
7. I have a steady job 8. have never used any tobacco products
9. drinks only one beer a year 10.don't have any ex wives
11. I believes in marriage 1st and baby carriage 2nd
Maybe you should try dating an older man. There are good Black
men out here but you should stop assuming that all men are like.
A good man will not come in the package that you want, but a
smart woman will be able to recognize a good man no matter
what he is wearing and or not driving. Please remember this
A child grow up playing with his toy. Don't let the sins of men
steal your joy. QUIT REWARING BAD MEN WHO TREATS YOU
BADLY WITH YOUR GOOD STUFF.

Answer 3

Looks like your looking for boys not men. A real man doesn't cat call or holler on the street. Try turning the table. Go for what you want not who approaches you. How a guy cares himself on the street or in life says alot. Dose he look you in the eyes or just at you ample chest? Don't sell yourself short. Demand better and that's what you will get. This might be stereo typing but ask if they have an older sister. All I know is my sister would have kicked my butt if she ever saw me mistreating a woman. Moms are good and all but nothing beats the vengeance of a pissed off older sister.

Answer 4

It's not you. The quality of single men decreases as we get older. There are decent, single men out there but they are few and far between. And usually, they are our friends.

I'm sure your girlfriends are in the same situation.

Try this: have a dinner party or similar get together. Invite your girlfriends and tell them to bring an eligible dude for matchmaking purposes. You do the same. But none of the guys can be exes or friends with benefits. It also helps if the guys are new and unfamiliar to the women.

Answer 5

The best advice I can give you is that I think you're fishing in the wrong pond. Expand your horizons, and go places that you may have been over looking, like the library, church, the park on Sunday afternoon. Are you showing too much flesh? I'm being honest now, men want just enough to whet the appetite, but too much looks trashy. I'm not saying you are, just some questions to ask yourself.....and when you meet them, are you babying them? Men like to be appreciated, but not babied. Real honest men ,are found working. I hope this helps you.

Answer 6

I can't see anything on the surface of your inquiry that would suggest that you would meet only "losers", and I do believe there are good (not perfect) men out there. If I look a bit deeper into your situation, the only aspect that comes to light is another question. Where exactly are you meeting these men? My grandmother once told me that "if you're looking for polar bears, don't move to Arizona".

Answer 7

most men when they see a beautiful woman want a "piece of the pie" but not necessarily the whole pie. Some like you are the problem you pamper them and wait on them hand and foot. you submit to them and make them the king and you are the servant. you teach them that you will do every thing for them. So stop it and tell them to take out the trash. Stop the pampering!

Answer 8

There are no guarantees, but I would suggest going to church or trying a local Christian singles club. You will find better than average people, but you will still have some slobs.

Stay away from singles bars/clubs. There is nothing wrong with those places except for all of the "meat market" mentality. Too many guys with just one thing on their minds.

Answer 9

These losers dont deserve you. If l was your man l would appreciate everything you do and pamper you for a change. It sounds like you need a break. How does breakfast in bed in a seaside cottage with views of the ocean sound? Let me know if you are coming to Australia in he future, and l will show you how Australian guys look after our ladies.

Answer 10

You must have developed a habit of being attracted to and attracting those types of men.
How this came about I couldn't say.
If you keep blaming men instead of attempting to discover in yourself the root of this problem it most likely will never change.
Same as for 99% of all personal social problems people face.