I really hate that! You are not my lover... please don't call me an endearing term. I am not your B*ch slave. And you are not better than me. It's a sick control game to me. People say it when they're assuming that they are smarter than you or older than you. What do you think about it?
2006-09-03 11:15:03 · 30 answers · asked by jennilaine777 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Wow ! This answers a lot of questions.I call women sweety sometimes and it means nothing other than an attractive nice woman is noticed. I'm NOT in love with you(a woman), nor am I hitting on you(a woman) either.All it means is you have a pleasant disposition, to which in a case like a woman such as yourself,I'm rebuffed all the time.THEN,I sincerely wish i'd never said it as I THOUGHT I was complimenting a LADY.I realize and understand there may be many who have misused the word,but i don't want to be judged by them.I also understand that there are women who just can't take a compliment of ANY KIND from a strange man.What a pleasant attitude,.....are you from New York by any chance ?
A funny thing: theresa lady who just moved here from Tenn.(accent and all), and she calls everyone " Darlin' " (Yes, I thanked her by saying "Thank You, sweety !") She's married,I'm committed, and it doesn't mean ANY of the above you mentioned.
2006-09-03 12:21:45 · answer #1 · answered by frith25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It used to anger me a LOT! I think it's a term of endearment used by elderly people a lot. I am pretty close to the age of most of the people who use it though, so it still bugs me a little. If someone cares about me enough to call me "sweetie" or "honey", I shut up and put up now. I won't hurt their feelings simply because I'm annoyed.
2006-09-03 18:36:07 · answer #2 · answered by TJMiler 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This seems to be something only women have to put up with and men just don't seem to understand how demeaning it is. I have tried using some kind of smarmy endearing term back to people who do this but they don't seem to get it. It doesn't get better as you get older either. After I turned 40 I found more and more people calling me hon or dear. Totally insulting. I don't know what you can do about it. These people are just dense.
2006-09-03 18:25:50 · answer #3 · answered by sutra 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
For me, it depends upon who saying "Sweetie."
I work in a public library. Often, older people, mostly women call me "honey" or "sweetie." That's o.k. It's like having my mom around.
If a man says it, I don't like it. I feel like he is being condescending and patronizing. He may not be, but that's how I feel when he says it. And, it is usually an older man. Younger men just call me 'mam' and that's o.k., too.
2006-09-03 19:16:33 · answer #4 · answered by Malika 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. I agree with you. It's inappropriate, especially in the work place. It implies an artificial intimacy that you want none of.
2. Tell them, "Excuse me, but I prefer to be called (Your Name). I'd appreciate it if you would." Say it in front of others, so that it embarrasses them. Everyone knows that you have asked this individual to back off politely, and you have witnesses.
3. These people tend to be touchers, too. Tell them if they are standing too close that you need your space. Whenever someone is doing something you feel very uncomfortable with, you have every right to set limits. If they don't like it —tough!
Good Luck!
2006-09-03 18:28:38 · answer #5 · answered by mitch 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It depends on the context. I agree that being called sweetie by a man particularly an employer is degrading...whereas having an elderly woman at the mall saying "thank you sweetie" when you hold the door for her is nice.
2006-09-03 18:29:36 · answer #6 · answered by inauspicious 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I hate being called it too when you dont know me...I could be a axe carrying serial killer....but people mean it to be kind and endearing so I take it with a smile.
2006-09-03 19:05:19 · answer #7 · answered by Cherry_Blossom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a waitress..and when a customer calls me sweetie...most of the time it bothers me. But sometimes, they really do mean that you are a sweet person. I think it's okay in those occasions
2006-09-03 18:36:37 · answer #8 · answered by Mandar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't sweat it. I'm a guy. There's only 3 classes of women that call me sweetie.
1. Older aunts
2. Grandmothers
3. Shallow women
It doesn't matter with category 3. It's the cat 1 and 2s that used to bother me.
2006-09-03 18:31:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
In all honesty and respect, I think you should lighten up. It isn't that deep. Believe me they are not thinking about it as much as you are, and there is no hidden agenda behind calling someone an endearing term. Even if there was I'd just take it as a compliment. No one can manipulate or control you unless you allow them to.
2006-09-03 18:22:10 · answer #10 · answered by Consuming Fire 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋