As a child I was bullied by sister and brother?

Question

When I was younger I was bullied by a elder sibling, who made my life hell. I had difficulty in school because of dysleksia, and on purpose he use to quiz me on my spelling and maths which I found difficult in front of younger sister then she would start to copy and I would end up staying in my room and not going down if they were in the room my brother made me feel a fool. My dad was my rock and he stood by me. And I still am defencive and insecure. But out of the the 3 of us I am succesful I am training to be a social worker I have my own car and flat and I am married. They are still at home unemployed. But when I go home to see my mum who is not well. I sometimes stay at home to support her as she is frail now. The younger sister who I have helped out with money and lots of things. Has raked up the past again with my older brother and was saying things that really hurt me when I was younger. What shall I do, It seems that I cant escape the past. Shall I stop helping this sister

Answer 1

I was bullied by 3 older siblings who also made my life hell, and I isolated myself. I now am the most successful so maybe it made me stronger, who knows. Today I don't speak at all with the oldest (who I believe was the ring leader) and she lives 15 minutes from me. I don't talk to the others too much either - I will never forgive them for what they have done to me. So... I would say no to giving the money.

Answer 2

Seems to me, "what didn't kill you, made you stronger". You sound like you really have your life together, don't let memories of the past affect your life. For one, everyone has memories of things family members said that were hurtful, and since you are training to be a social worker, you can use that experience in positive way. It's strange, but it seems people who had less then perfect childhoods seem to always do great in the helping professions.
As far as your sister is concerned, the best thing for both of you, would be to forgive her and your brother for the things they said, and continue to be the caring person that you are. If you drag yourself down to their level, it will only hurt you, by showing them how strong you are, you may be able to get them to "see the light". Just pretend to be their social worker and all you want is what's best for them. Don't think about whether they love you, just love them. Take care!

Answer 3

Don't put up with any cr*p at all, your there for your mum, if their gonna be pathetic and start bullying again leave em to it, they're probably just jealous, the youngest always do better than the older siblings statistically so please just don't take any more of their cr*p,
I hate it when good people are attacked this way. don't help your younger sister if she's gonna attack you, bringing up the past is fine if it's not in a vicious way, but if she's being horrible abandon her, you don't need that in your life, learn to say no, it's the best bit of advice anyone can pass on!

Answer 4

It seems to me that you are the classic 'victim' the girl who can't say 'no'.You need to cut those two siblings out of your life. You can arrange for your mother to stay with you if you have room and you can keep in touch by phone. I wonder if Social Services work would be good for you as you will meet all the time people who have been abused or neglected in some way and you will always be anxious about your cases.I would think about charity work as clearly you have a compassionate nature.

Answer 5

the reason that they're bringing it back up could be that their jealous of your success. continue to visit your mother and ignore your siblings it won't be easy at first just turn around and say to them "well for being such a thicko (i don't really mean that bit but if you can take the micky of yourself it wont be so much fun for them)at least i managed to go out there and make something of myself instead of sitting at home waiting for something to happen". hope this helps as for helping your sister out i would stop if she won't change her attitude towards you why should you. yeah i know she's family but does she think of that when they're being horrible to? no i don't think so other wise she would of stopped by now, it just makes here look big in front of your brother

Answer 6

first thing is to stop helping your sister. this is because you are not really helping her at all she is just sponging off you. it is easy to see with an attitude like hers why she is unemployed and that the only thing which makes her feel good is putting you down. but she needs to stand on her own two feet. the only help she needs you to give her are directions to the job centre to find a job. getting a job will make her realise that people wont put up with her attitude and eventually she will develop enough self esteem to treat you with the respect you deserve.

Answer 7

Not trying to be rude, but I would make a point of who had done something with their life and who was still at home. I would tell them both that they really hurt you as a child and that you are taking back your life and from this point on, that what they say doesnt matter, You gave them control over you as a child. As an adult it's time to take it back. Best of Luck

Answer 8

It really sounds like they are jelous of the fact that you overcame the obsticles in your life, and they don't know how to handle this.

If they do it again you could simply ask if they are happy with their lives...? as you are certainly happy with the way yours turned out...

If they ask you to spell something, anything. Reply with
L O S E R. They may get the point that they can longer get to you...

Oh and yes, stop supplying your sis with money etc, she'll sharp realise the consequences of her actions. Good Luck

Answer 9

Your sis is probably guilty about the past,she's probably angry at herself,taking it out on you.Plus your mum is unwell,that will sometimes make people be nasty,drag up the past.Don't worry about being dyslexic,James Whale from Talk Sport(1053/1089 am) is dyslexic,and he had a successful D.J and talk-host career.Yes you should withdraw financial help,and force her to stand on her own 2 feet---it's tough but she'll thank you one day.I was glad whan I learned my lesson in the past about being lazy,etc.

Answer 10

You need to forgive your loved ones. But if they are abusive to you it doesn't mean you need to put up with abuse. Mental abuse is uncalled for in any circumstance. If your sister can't appreciate all the things you have done for her then you need to stop helping her. Calmly and without yelling make a strong stand and tell her you will not put up with it. If she doesn't listen then you need to stay away from her. You don't have to or need to put up with that. It could affect your emotions and psychological welfare.From what you wrote it already has taken a toll.