I've been with him for almost two years, and it's been great. He is the jealous type, preferring that he knows who I talk to, and would rather I didn't hang out with other guys. Recently (after being very nosy) I came across a few messages he's sent to girls about hanging out with them. I've asked him if he's talked about that with anyone, and he denied it. Of course I didn't bring up the fact that I had seen the messages, or knew anything. The hanging out doesn't bother me, just the fact that "he can but I can't". I'm not sure how to bring this up to him, or if I should even let it bother me.
2006-09-03 10:54:03 · 28 answers · asked by Jess 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
React by thinking about what you require in a relationship. If it's honesty, respect for you, your wishes, desires, and needs, you're getting screwed right to the wall. A hint, here, jealousy is not a sign of love, nor respect, nor does it bode well for the future. Abusers are jealous. Bother you? He's abusing you and it won't stop without your requiring it to stop.
2006-09-03 11:01:16 · answer #1 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jesus this sounds so familiar, you sure you're not my missus? I was exactly the same, i had a bad experience with a girl a few years back & from them it's been hard for me to trust any girl. I've been with a girl 4 years but found i was insecure & had low self esteem, i had female friends & i guess i was a bit promiscious with them (to counteract my low self esteem), this lead to a guilty conscious (& usually me trying to reverse the guilt by throwing accusations her way) & denial when i was confronted! My missus got round it by continiously reassuring me that she was true to me & she was to be trusted but it took her to really drill it into my head! Try & do more things as couple, get away for the weekend, do nights out, i would join her & her friends for nights out & vice versa (it built my trust to know her friends were sensible). Just believe he'll grow out of it in time, it's just a matter of sticking at it (if you think he's worth it)! As for the messages, he's denying because he knows he'll look the hypocrite, if you believe he can be trusted then forget about it!
Hope this helps!
2006-09-03 17:52:28 · answer #2 · answered by paddy a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-30 07:41:19 · answer #3 · answered by vishvanath 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship is about trust, right? So, he doesn't trust you and is controlling. Is that really the sort of person you want to be with? NO WAY! And then he lies and is hanging out with other women? He wants it both ways and that is not what you want, I don't think. The thing is, he won't change, and my opinion is that it will only get worse. Move on, move on, move on and find someone who is faithful and who trusts you and loves you for who you are, not one who wants his cake and is eating it too...
2006-09-03 11:03:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had this happen. There is a battle on the front. BUT he initiated it and you are not in the wrong. He can and you cant. That is not fair. It is not equal. Do not admit you snooped. It will give him justification for his previous snooping (which you dont know about).
I have a question...In a relationship without trust, is it really worth it? I answered "yes" to that question and had a 2 week battle. I won though.
2006-09-03 10:59:59 · answer #5 · answered by James S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who questions you anytime you meet someone of the opposite sex ?
Somebody that insecure will get to be a pain in the neck.
You may think you love him now but he's really high maintenance and you have to ask yourself if you want to keep paying the price.
You life and your choice but why settle for someone who isn't trusting or trustworthy.
2006-09-03 11:28:42 · answer #6 · answered by CeeVee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sod him - tell him straight out that you saw the messages, if he gets all defensive and asks what you were doing reading em tell him he drove you to it with his possessiveness and you were entitled to check on him back. The fact that he HAS lied indicates he has something to hide - if it finishes over you asking him about it you're better off without
2006-09-04 00:07:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well jealousy is a sign of insecurity and that 's whats seems to be going on here...he is maybe secretly texting other girls...insecure? my advice is" beware of a man who try's to protect you from every body but himself!"! whats good for the goose is good for the gander...and final thought do you really want a relationship built on lack of trust ,lies and CONTROL, you are probably young , georgeous and full of life dont put all your eggs in one basket...good luck honey
2006-09-03 11:03:18 · answer #8 · answered by sara629686 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the truth, be direct and state your case for equality of house and relationship rules.
No ifs ands or buts about it!
2006-09-03 10:58:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you dating a man that is jealous?
thats the real issue here. I say leave him, or learn the hard way.
"just a word of advice you can heed if you like"
-seether.
2006-09-03 10:57:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋