I now go with this guy who is 4 yrs older than i am which is okay because i'm aware of the situation.Their is 1 problem he says in the relationship he can't be with a virgin and has to have sex or it's over.I'm avirgin and want my ''first time'' to be special and not something i regret.I want to be in love and not in puppy love.Another thing my friend hooked us up she told him whoever i get you with is 'fine and sexy as hell.I told her I'm a virgin she won't believe it like everyone else because if you'd see me i don't look my age and have quite a bit of sex appeal although i don't try to.i have developed faster than most girls my age but am very thin.I liked this guy but I don't want to give up my values and belief to make him satisfied.I want something 4real but i'm not ready for that type of physical feeling.What can I really do in this situation?Do I hope to fall in love with him and let him take my virginity sometihng that is speacial to a women.Or go with the flow. let me know!
2006-09-03 09:02:26 · 40 answers · asked by VanE 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh Honey, don't give it up to him. He doesn't respect you at all. If he did he would NEVER say that to you. You keep your morals and values and you give them to someone who will appreciate them. Someone who would really know that what you have done is save yourself for them. That is so cool of you to ask and be concerned. Just don't do it. You will regret it and you will lose self respect. You have so much to be proud of now, keep it that way.
God Bless and keep the morals and values going...
2006-09-03 09:10:42 · answer #1 · answered by cinson1999 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy is a pig and you should dump his azz right now. No REAL man would ever put this kind of pressure on a woman. If ur not ready he should respect it. I promise you if you have sex with him he will have gotten what he wanted and he will either dump you or start cheating on you or show less interest.
If u r not ready than a man has to PROVE to you, over time, that he's worthy of having you. He has already proven to you he is NOT the right guy for you because of his attitude. When I was 19 and still a virgin, a lot of people wouldn't believe it because I always surrounded by girls. What they didn't realize is that I hardly dated any of them! They were mostly my friends. Then before I turned 20 I met this wonderful gal and we fell in love (she was my first love) and we were both one another's firsts. Looking back now I was probably more infatuated than really in love, because love isn't just a feeling, it's something you do. According to Dr. Stephen Covery "love is something you do, not a feeling". And I think he's right. Those feelings you get are a direct result of consistent actions from the one you love.
One time I dated a woman who was a virgin at age 24. She just had not met the right man and also had certain convinctions on why she had not had sex yet. I totally respected that and we went out and had a great time. After a few months of dating she wanted to make me happy and wanted to have sex. When I asked her if she really wanted to she said "no, but I want you to be happy". I told her that no way in heck would we have sex, but that there were so many other things we could that would please us both w/o having to have sex.
We were able to satisfy our physical needs in other ways. And yes, it takes A LOT Of willpower and discipline to do this. It's not for everyone. Ultimately she moved away to finish up her law degree and she ultimately fell in love with a great man. A real man is a man who is not afraid to leave a woman better than he found her and vice versa.
Get rid of him, he is NOT right for you. Period point blank!!!!
Rod
2006-09-03 09:04:46 · answer #2 · answered by thedatepro 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I didn't have to read your full question to know this guy does not care about you enough to respect you and you should drop him. What nonsense is this that he expects you to give up something so precious to you just like that. Your first time should be special and it WILL BE special provided you are smart now and DO NOT GIVE IN...this just goes to show he does not respect you or your wishes, the man is a pig and just wants sex. Don't be pushed, pressured or bullied - you deserve better and that is no way to have a relationship. If he says its over: then SO BE IT, luckily you have NOT LOST ANYTHING (including your dignity and dream)/ You'll find someone better. It is for the best. You are being very smart and strong and should be very proud of yourself. Never ever go with the flow, it will drag you down.
2006-09-03 09:05:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
if you don't wanna have sex then it is over no for real this guy is a jerk he needs to grow the h.e.l.l up he needs to realize that he don't have a girl right now so he ain't getting any and later in life there will be times that he will not be allowed to get any because after you have a kid u have to go 6 weeks w/o or more my sister had to go 11 months w/o this boy you like is just that a boy or shall we say a child maybe even a douche bag tell him these are your options 1 not have a gf and get none or 2 have a gf and maybe if you are a good boy you can get some when I am ready if u pressure me you will get none ever what is your choice
2006-09-03 09:12:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one, he's demanding something he has no right to. Okay, maybe he's honest in that he wants sex with whoever girl he is with. Pretty shallow. Unless he's like 40 and your 36 ;)
You should decide when to have your first time (and second, third, and so forth). You must do it when you feel secure in your partner and feel that you have lot's of thing going on as a couple, not just because he's handsome or whatever makes him atractive to you.
You'll find another guy that will love you and give you the time and space that you need. Don't rush it.
2006-09-03 09:07:30 · answer #5 · answered by Roberto 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
run! that's rubbish that a bloke has 2 have sex 4 a relationship 2 work, he's just after u 4 sex. virginity is a very precious and valuble thing, u should wait until u r ready and feel comfortable with a man u love and who respects u and ur decisions. he will be impressed by ur virginity as virgins r hard 2 find these days.
2006-09-03 09:13:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to set your own standards and then find a guy who fit within the standards ytou have set. If he does not, why are you with him? You are setteling for someone lower than your standards. Either lower your standards are get some back bone. Guys are going to walk all over you and take advantage of you otherwise. The best odds are to wait until you find a guy who will give 100% total committment to you. Marriage is the best of all ways to show how serious a guy is. If you have sex before marriage, you weaken the reason he sould marry you because you have already given your best to him.
2006-09-03 09:06:40 · answer #7 · answered by nobodiesinc 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If anyone is telling you to do it with him to make him happy they are full of ****. You stay A virgin for as long as you would want. Leave that guy and find someone that wont pressure you to do something you arnt ready for.
Respect yourself by not doing that to make him happy. You are worth more then so that with a guy that is a dick like that! ultimately it is your decision choose what you feel is right and dont give into anything that will make you feel bad about it later. He will prob go around braging that he got you to do that.
2006-09-03 09:13:59 · answer #8 · answered by BElow froSTy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U answered ur own ? when u said, "I liked this guy but I don't want to give up my values and belief to make him satisfied.I want something 4real but i'm not ready for that type of physical feeling." Follow ur heart & u will never go wrong.
2006-09-03 11:47:13 · answer #9 · answered by shanelle045 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you want your first time to be special.Then make sure it's with a special guy,and not some jerk who's threatening to split unless he gets in your pants.He'll probably just leave after he gets what he wants anyways.The only thing special about him is that he sounds like he belongs in special-ed.
Don't feel pressured into giving up your virginity.You'll know when the time (and the boy!) is right.
And don't forget to use protection DAMMIT!
2006-09-03 09:08:12 · answer #10 · answered by Danny 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋