My daughters friend is a younger boy, his parents are close friends of ours also. Whenever they have a play date the boy follows her around attempting to hit her. He also has an ear piercing scream that he lets out whenever somthing doesn't go his way. He also throws wild fits about every hour. My daughter is so sweet to him through all of this. She talks about him all the time and I believe she truly cares about his well being. He is not nice to her and I can't stand to watch her feelings get hurt.
Her friend's father has been a friend of mine since high school. We are now in our 30's. I don't want to make anything awkward but I feel that if I stop the kid's play dates then I am also putting to big of a burden on our friendship and that we would stop being friends, which sucks because there aren't that many people here in ths small town.
2006-09-03 08:47:27 · 13 answers · asked by Dust 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
You need to talk to the little boy's dad and explain exactly what you have explained here - that you don't want to lose his friendship, but you are concerned. No one is doing this little boy any favors by allowing him to hit other kids, even if he is just a toddler. Such behavior very quickly becomes a habit. maybe you and his dad could brainstorm some ways of handling it. You didn't say how old the two kids are, so it is difficult to give specific suggestions. This little boy is not thinking about his actions - toddlers don't - but he can be taught appropriate behavior. It is his dad who needs to think about things.
Any large book store would have several good books on disciplining toddlers. These sites may be helpful to you as well if you choose to talk to your friend about his son's behavior.
Good luck with it.
2006-09-03 09:03:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋
That is a really tough one. Because the other child's father is a longtime friend of yours, I think you should have a talk with him and explain your concerns as supportively and empathetically as possible. You will risk your friendship, but your daughter's well-being is more important. It also sounds like the young boy may need some help, so you could be doing him and your friend a favor, too, by bringing the problem out in the open.
You could try having a more supervised play time where the rules are made very clear: no hitting. You would have to watch them closely. Once there is hitting, the play session is over. My guess is that this won't work so well.
Your daughter may have trouble understanding why she can't play with her friend. You will have to explain to her that hitting is not allowed in play time, and the play time rules have to be followed. She may be unhappy, but her safety and long-term self esteem are much more important.
Good luck with this situation. This is where you earn your stripes as a parent and as a friend.
2006-09-03 09:04:59 · answer #2 · answered by Y Answerer 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow- i have the same problem. I love my best friend and her two oldest kids are SOO sweet. But her youngest constantly beats up on my son (my son is 18 months, the other kid is 3) and misbehaves all the time! Especially since you guys are friends- you have to talk to them about it. If this only happens when they are gone- then maybe they need to stick around during playdates. But if this happens when they are there- they HAVE to learn to discipline their child. Depending on his age- he should be learning not to hit regardless of the situation. Don't approach the parents with "you need to stop your child blah blah blah" instead- try mentioning (every single time it happens) that their kid just hit your kid and ask them to handle it. It sucks to be on this side because I obviously hate my son to be picked on, but at the same time- i'm not going to discipline someone else's kid... and NOW I'm having to teach my son not to hit back!!! You have to stop this now or it will become a bigger problem later. Well, good luck!
2006-09-06 08:46:11 · answer #3 · answered by sherdencutiepie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think i would want my daughter to be around this. What if that child rubs off on your daughter. It just dont sound good to me. No more playdates is what i would do. I would explain this to the parents has well, because when it is time to start school. Guess whose child is going to be an angel and whose is going to be the trouble maker? Then your daughter will have a wide range of kids to choose from.
For now try to find someone else to make playdates with. This way she will be able to meet different kinds of kids, and maybe she will be able to find a little girl to play barbies with or something that is a sweet little girl.
Plus you dont want your girl getting beath up. Sounds like that boy needs other boys to play with and some kind of punishment for being so mean and rough.
2006-09-03 10:03:07 · answer #4 · answered by mellow_26241 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If my daughter was hitting someone, as her mom I would want to know so I could correct her behavior, I would not think you would be telling me how to raise my kid , I would respect that your mom and your protecting your child
Is it just you on the play dater or is your friend with you, if not have him be with you the next time and leave the room for a minuter but where you can keep a eye on them at the same time and when it happens then you and your friend can talk about it
2006-09-03 08:56:22 · answer #5 · answered by twistedsingle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you see these things happening then its really your responablity as a dad to step up in her defence because she does,nt know that hes being hurtfull, she just knows that he is her playmate and friend.
You can do this without being offencive to anyone, simply interact and not allow any hitting or attempts. Just let this little man know that you love him and he cannot hurt ANYONE EVER. Try some interaction with the both of them like tossing the ball first to one and then the other. Play chase with them and be fare to both chidren and by interacting with them you will also be showing this little guy that he can have fun and laugh without being aggressive and your daughter will love you more, and your friend will only see that you love his child as you play with them.
2006-09-05 15:32:21 · answer #6 · answered by ~♥ L ♥~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would not wait for the boy's parents to step in. By the sounds of it they sit by and do nothing? I would just approach the child when he is hitting, and say "We do not hit people.", and then proceed to pick up your daughter and sit her on your lap. Just repeating this pattern will identify to the boy that will not be tolerated.
If your friends say something, explain to them exactly what you did to us... tell them it must be disheartening for your daughter to be hit all the time when she is trying to be nice.
No friendship would end over this if it is handled with tact and diplomacy.
2006-09-03 08:58:19 · answer #7 · answered by Sue_Render_Urself_2Me 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
yeh that sucks , but hes just a little kid, and a trouble maker at that as u kno, he is going into sages of life whre hes a bad kid, but i think it'll pass.. umm maybe if u tell his parents to talk to him, tell him if he doesnt behave, he wont have his favorite toy or something like that, i dont know what else to say hope that help bye...
2006-09-03 08:51:30 · answer #8 · answered by Dragonfly :) 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend to control his son, he should be getting in trouble for hitting other kids
2006-09-03 08:55:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let them work it out maybe your daughter if she is sweet most kids aren't at that age. Stop being an overbearing mediator for a parent if ur daughter likes him then hes doing something right. Maybe she understands him and your just jealous...
Trust me Good over powers bad and kids tend to follow good behavior if its rewarded
2006-09-03 08:59:03 · answer #10 · answered by thought 4 · 1⤊ 5⤋