If you hate everyone in your family, what should you do about it?

Question

Uh - hello? I'm 23 and I live in a traditional ethnic family?

Answer 1

I had that problem.

I finished high school at 16, went to college 12 months a year and graduated at 19, never moved back to town and after about two years stopped buying plane tickets to visit.

I got great grades.

I turned homework and studying into a machine.

I never lost my temper with anyone in my family. I avoided letting them draw me into the games and emotional ping pong they were always playing.

I don't miss them. Haven't seen them in over 30 years.

Answer 2

If you are 23 and self sufficient, you can just avoid your family. This is a sad solution, but it may be best. Try not to hate anyone as this is negative energy that only brings you down.
If you were raised in a traditional ethnic family, it is likely that you also were bought up believing in God. Pray about it. Pray for the peace of your family members.
Sometimes it is healthy to leave family behind. There are cases where the dysfunctional system in families continues long after parents are dead. Trying to negotiate beyond set patterns is difficult and depends on the openmindedness of the family members. If you are "type cast" in the family in a negative way, nothing you do to grow beyond this thought will change it much; whether or not you are truly deserving of the label.
You deserve to be happy and mentally healthy. If your family is not giving you an opportunity to experience both, then avoid them.
God will provide you with a family of your own and friends that can be close to you and feel just like family.
Resolution with the family is always best, but if it can't be acheived, move on to create your own life. Always wish your biological family the best. You'll be healthier for it.

Answer 3

Hate's rather strong, but if you have issues with eveyone in your family they are either the most disfuntional people on the planet or the problem is yours. You need someone to talk to about this, someone outside the situation and who is unattached. If you're old enough a temporary separation might help you see things differently. My mother and I were never close until I moved away. When we could no longer take each other for granted everything changed. Good luck.

Answer 4

This sounds like a serious problem that's causing you a lot of pain and upset and therefore needs to be taken seriously. Not all families are functional and happy. Many have secrets or cycles of unacceptable behaviour. Tolerance is not always a good idea in these situations. I feel you need to speak to a professional. Someone trained to listen and help you make a good choice.

I too had a lot of problems with my Father a few years ago which nearly tore me in two. It took every ounce of courage I had to seek counselling. A good counsellor is worth their weight in gold because you can tell them things you could never tell friends or family. Mine was unshockable. It was a decision which saved my life and helped me to make good choices with confidence. I wish you all the happiness in the world. Good luck x

Answer 5

Hate is a very strong word to use. I would suggest that you take some time one on one with them and try to get to truly know them as individuals.

They may not do as you would like, how you would like, when you would like, but as you become to know how they tick you may be able to overlook their faults and failings and get to like them.

You may also have challenges that they find difficult to deal with.

By taking the time you will know if the current situation can be resolved if not you at least will have peace knowing that you tried.

There is the old adage - You can choose your friends and not your family. That is very true, but do hope that you will make the effort and your attempts will be rewarded and even if you don't end up loving them for whom they are you will at least have made some effort in building some bridges. Good Luck.

Answer 6

Look honest deep in yourself and try to figure out where that feeling come from, if you got the answer ...you must find a way how you wanna live ,where hate lives there is not enough place for love(always put yourself in first place) ,give your family some love and understanding maybe they love you or respect you... its easier set as done

Answer 7

If you're 23 you should be living on your own instead of living at home and complaining. If you are on your own, you can spend as much or as little time with family members as you choose. Someday you will appreciate family. They are there when others aren't.

Answer 8

Get some serious anger management counceling!!!

Even if your family is the worst one in history, you need to get some professional help to straighten up your life, so that you wont blame everything on your family that happens to be "bad" in your life.

Remember, YOU are responsible for your life, not your family. They are only there to provide a history or continuity for you in your childhood and growing years. What you do with your life is up to you.

Now, being a Chrsitian I am not the type to hate anyone, and LORD knows, I had a trouble past myself with my family, but I have forgiven them. I would seriously suggest you go to Church and get aquainted with the LORD and HIS love for you!

I wish you well..

Jesse

Answer 9

Try to make close friends, so you have people you can feel good around and people to support you when you need it. As for your family, try to get past whatever they did to you to make you hate them. You don't have to love them, or trust them or anything like that, just forgive them for your own sake. It's too much trouble to hold a grudge against someone, including your own family.

Answer 10

It is best just to avoid them as much as you can, and to be polite if and when you have to socialise with them.

Of couse, the temptation is to seek oppertunities to insult them, but this would be a mistake as it your environment is quite close, and the rest of your family would, inevitably, get dragged in. This would end up damaging you and your reputation.