I have been assaulted and harassed by women. Most of the time, the gestures and flirtations are harmless, but I am a straight woman who doesn't want to be bothered. When I was younger, men would trouble me, but now they wouldn't dare. Most men are afraid to bother or harass a woman these days. What can I do to discourage their interest? Right now I do not have any gay or bi friends and do not go to clubs and bars except once or twice a month and they are normal clubs, not gay ones. Recently, I was assaulted at work by a customer who resented my rejection of her when I simply ignored her overtures and said nothing, just walked away.
2006-09-03 07:19:32 · 13 answers · asked by wife of Ali Pasha 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Although I not a "board certified lesbian," as a gay man - my lesbian friends say I'd make a good one. Based upon recommendation, let me offer my small perspective on your question.
Your comments remind me of when, however, infrequently - a straight woman makes a pass at me. This always surprises me as some would say "I flame." I'm also heading into 57 years of age - and hardly see my self as "prime real estate."
I am always gracious and simply say - my dear " we can be sisters...as I am gay." This usually handles it without hurt feelings.
If in the workplace - I'd grant that it is technically sexual harassment. Before I'd ever complain to those HR types, I directly say to the person - "I'd appreciate you not make that type of comment to me again."
There are no easy answers just plenty of opportunity to educate
others.
Michael
2006-09-03 08:10:18 · answer #1 · answered by Orca 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, you sound really put off. I would just tell the person right away that you are not intersted, and not a lesbian or bi. I would do this politely, but firmly. When you ignore the overture, you are sending mixed signals. It's hard to know if you are ignoring them because A) you didn't realize you were being hit on B) You were too timid to respond or C) insert anything else here you'd like.
I would like to point out that gay and lesbian bars are as "normal" as any other. There is music, dancing, alcohol and at least 3 people making fools out of themselves at any given time.
2006-09-03 14:32:27 · answer #2 · answered by Autumn BrighTree 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm not sure what you mean when you say you were assaulted at work. If someone assaults you, you can lay charges. Do you mean approached? If she actually assaulted you, then file a complaint. Otherwise, if people approach you, just tell them you aren't interested. Or you don't swing that way. Or you don't mix your private life with your work life.
Is there something about the way you dress that might give people the wrong idea?
2006-09-03 15:46:36 · answer #3 · answered by old lady 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Where the heck do you work that it happens THAT often?
For some strange reason... Many Men and women who are Bi-sexual and or gay.
Love to recruit virgins and first timers.
*and to the rest of the Chuckle Patch... shut up if you disagree because I have observed it enough times in my life to be ABLE to say such a thing. It IS true!
2006-09-03 14:27:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well just short of wearing a Nuns Habit everywhere you go from now on I am not sure what might deter Lesbians from coming on to you. Maybe it is something you are doing that they think is a come on or something. Your not one of them touchy feely people are you, and maybe you are brushing up against them or fondling them or groping them and they think your making a pass at them?
I think if it were me and it kept happening over and over again I would move and change jobs. You must live in California. In Texas where I live a woman would get her arm broken if she tried that crap on another woman.
2006-09-03 14:33:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell them you're straight. Most gay men and women won't press the issue if they know your orientation, but honestly, you can't expect them to NOT hit on you. Men will hit on you, so why not women? I understand it makes some people uncomfortable to be approached by another woman/man, but they don't know until you tell them.
2006-09-03 14:25:48 · answer #6 · answered by Discotheque 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It is called sexual harassment and it is not just against men anymore. If you were assaulted that is a crime and the police should be called.
2006-09-03 14:26:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Instead of ignoring someone just smile and tell them "Sorry, but I'm straight" or not interested. She probably thought you were being rude be ignoring her.
2006-09-03 14:24:04 · answer #8 · answered by mik 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Just tell them you're not interested - like you would a man. Don't be afraid of offending people.
2006-09-03 14:25:09 · answer #9 · answered by Tallia 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's your side of the story. But perhaps you should try to look less like a "butch" in the future.
2006-09-03 14:27:49 · answer #10 · answered by Grist 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋