Ok this might seem a weird question. My gf said to me im too nice, and my mate says i should treat her a little meaner, but i dunno if i should, i dont wanna hurt her feelings and scare her away, but at the same time i dont want her to think im too nice and also go off me. Also if i do start treatin her mean i dont wanna do it so that i go too far and i upset her so what should i really be doin, there is obviously a fine line and i dont wanna step over it. So anyone got any tips on perhaps not bein so nice? I always check she is ok, i buy her gifts occasionally, i take her out when she wants to go. She knows i want her to be happy and she knows i love her. So if i am too nice, do any of you have any ideas on how to maybe turn it down a little??
2006-09-03 06:55:23 · 16 answers · asked by Tom1983 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh and i dont want any answers like, jus sh*g her and move on!!
2006-09-03 06:55:52 · update #1
Thanks for your comments people, i know exactly what im gonna do now and it doesnt involve a change in my personality
2006-09-03 07:12:21 · update #2
Just carrry on treating her the way you do. She's your girlfriend already, and obviously likes you the way you are, so why change?
2006-09-03 06:58:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is only saying that because she notices. Being nice to your girl is the best thing you can do. Any gal should be so lucky. Maybe she's not used to it. Maybe she just feels like there's nothing more you can do to make her happy unless you were suddenly a Prince of some far off country. My advice.... pull at her heartstrings by stepping up the niceness. Surprise her more. Do things with her that normal people don't do. You sound like the kind of guy that would propose at the top of a ferris wheel and drop the ring , but pull it up with a string. Reach for your humor. Take an improv class. I think that's what she means by, "you're too nice" that's what I would mean. You need to do things for her that YOU KNOW ARE GOOD FOR HER WHETHER SHE KNOWS IT NOW OR NOT. She wants you to take charge and not just give her what she wants, take her on new excursions. Have new experiences. Stop buying her things, and buy her experience. That's what girls want. SWEEP ME OFF MY FEET, and if I squirm a little, TELL ME IT WILL BE OKAY.
Gosh, I hope this helps.
2006-09-03 07:06:07 · answer #2 · answered by jennilaine777 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, this is my answer:
You sound a really nice guy and further more you should not try to alter what you are. If she dumps you for being you then hey ho forget her!! But if you were mean to her and she dumped you because of that then you would be really confused because you were not being yourself and you may regret it.
What i suggest is this: carry on being the loving boyfriend that you are for example taking her out and ringing to check shes ok if you haven't seen her for a while. BUT don't go overboard on the slushy stuff ie. don't buy her flowers/presents too often, save those for special occasions, don't tell her that you love her too often, perhaps in your own mind think that you will tell her no more than once a day - perhaps before you go to sleep.... keep part of your life separate (ie play golf, footie or whatever you enjoy) so that she knows you have other interests and its not all about what she wants. good luck, just play it down a little bit ..xx
2006-09-03 07:03:24 · answer #3 · answered by Alice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This friend who is giving you 'advice'....how successful is he with women (not shagging them and moving on) but keeping them and having happy, lasting relationships. My guess would be not very. Another guess would be that he doesn't want you to be happy or perhaps is concerned about you being taken advantage of by women who aren't deserving of being treated well.
Never try to be anyone but yourself, for one thing you can't keep it up for long, you can't pretend your way through the rest of your life so doing that to try to keep someone doesn't work in the long run anyway. Just as pretending to be nice when a guy is really mean doesn't work, the opposite won't either. You want to be with someone who loves you for who you are, not who you pretend to be. Besides that it sounds like you are a great bf to have, if you aren't with someone who recognizes that or takes advantage of that those things tell you clearly that she is not the one for you anyway and the sooner you know that the better off you are. Keep you eyes open, as long as she deserves being treated well keep treating her well. I gotta admit this is a unique situation, normally people pretend to be nice and later show their true colors and it turns out not to be pretty. Good luck to you!
2006-09-03 07:05:51 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, I hate to say this but women by nature usually want what isn't good for us. I blame EVE. Nice guys finish last. If she's told you that your too nice already in your relationship it probably has some hidden meaning behind that. Enjoy it while it lasts. Don't change your ways to accommodate her your doing alot already. There will come a women in your life and you too will compliment each other and she will appreciate you and what you do for her to the utmost.
2006-09-03 06:57:01 · answer #5 · answered by Lucy Lu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, dear Tom:
Be yourself. You like this girl and you sound like you are expressing yourself in a healty way with her; yet she cannot appreciate it from what you say. I won't tell you to leave her, but I will say there are a lot of women who would appreciate being treated with kindness and respect. Your mate is wrong. She does not seem healthy. You decide what to do. Good luck.
2006-09-03 07:08:47 · answer #6 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask her what she means by 'too nice.' No mentally healthy woman would want you to treat her meanly. That's just bizzarre. Find out what she means. Maybe she thinks you're too nice to rude waiters or something. If she wants you to be mean to her, she's not healthy mentally and you should find a nice person.
2006-09-03 06:59:44 · answer #7 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, stay as you are, honestly.
You will be the one who gets the girls in the end. I think your girlfriend just wants you to put your foot down a little and not let her walk all over you...don't be too clingy as us girls like to do a little of the running.
Trust me, out of you and your mates, you will be the one who ends up with the girl that they all want....while they will be dating the town tramps who allow their men to treat em like crap.
2006-09-03 07:04:14 · answer #8 · answered by Gypsie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant change who you are! if your a nice guy then thats what you'll be all your life. your gf hasn't figured out yet that nice guys DO win in the end & if she isnt happy with that its her problem not yours.
if she was in a relationship with a mean guy she would want to be with a nice one. we always want what we can't have.
don't change for anyone, be true to yourself or you'll only end up miserable
2006-09-03 07:01:04 · answer #9 · answered by tjstarbe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls are crazy. They complain that guys treat them like crap but if they actually have a good guy they say he's too nice. Just keep being yourself, it's up to her to figure out why she feels she doesn't deserve to be treated well.
2006-09-03 06:59:06 · answer #10 · answered by orionsgirl76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you, you do not need anyone to tell you to be mean to anyone. That is your makeup, and it is a good thing. if she does not like it, I am sure someone else will. Just be yourself, and you will go a long way. It is nice to hear for a real man.
2006-09-03 07:02:51 · answer #11 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋