2006-09-03 06:49:30 · 15 answers · asked by zzzZZZzzz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No it's not a requirement. It does lead to a higher number of divorces because there isn't the same values..a lot of people who live together think marriage is just a piece of paper (well a piece of paper can easily be thrown away can't it?) as those that don't.
Also men and women have different goals when they move in together..a woman thinks when a man asks her to move in with her it's some form of commitment..it's the next step closer to a marriage proposal...whereas the guy is just thinking..hey sex on the tap..house cleaned..meals on the table..all the wifey duties done for him with NO commitment whatsoever..he has no ties and can walk away at anytime. Why buy the cow?
If marriage is your goal..then moving in together is like playing Russian roulette....many many women have been stuck living with a guy for years with no marriage proposal in site and the guy saying "if it ain't broke why fix it" ? Some women have to say they are leaving and force the guy into asking them..not an ideal way to start a happy marriage is it?
Even if you are engaged it could be risky because engagements can be called off or delayed...
People who say living together is beneficial ie you can to see your beloved shave their legs or clip their toenails..how romantic!If you want to see how neat and tidy they are..ask..use your eyes..look at how they live now..it's not rocket science. The same people will usually have the same argument about sleeping around with different sexual partners...
It's commonsense, it's communication..if you have to worry about what it will be like living with someone once you are married and need to "test" each other out beforehand because of that lack of awareness and trust about each other..it doesn't really say much for how solid the relationship is in the first place.
2006-09-03 13:27:28 · answer #1 · answered by xanadu88 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
It is definately an option. You dont want to live with someone way way way before the wedding because you are going to get tired of them... not just that... once you do get married and move in together you will miss that time that you could have had alone. I prefer to live with the person. Just so i can get used to their bad habits. And they can get used to mine. There will be times when your fiance may do something or say something you never heard before. and it is only because you are now getting closer to each other. So make sure you know exactly you are doing before you do it. Because it can definately effect the relationship in the long run.
2006-09-03 14:06:44 · answer #2 · answered by Hot Damn 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It is certainly an option.
When I got married the first time, I had not lived any length of time with my soon-to-be husband. It was a big mistake. You never, ever know someone until you live with them.
I live with my fiance now and it is amazing and wonderful. It clearly shows me that we are meant to be together. There have been no "surprises" and we've already settled into a happy commitment.
2006-09-03 14:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by DanaElayne 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
classicly the people who are anti-living-together are anti-divorce.
so does not living together mean your marriage will be any happier? Because really staying married doesn't equal happiness
It's an option. Even though I love the fact that my man and I live together, because it's allowed us to really know what we are getting ourselves, into I would never say it should be required. That's a personal choice. We have lived together over 6 years and will be getting married in about a month
2006-09-04 04:27:09 · answer #4 · answered by frogsandducks 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I don't believe that "living in" is an option prior to marriage. Living, and sleeping, together should be saved for after you are married. When you and your beloved have made a lifetime commitment to each other before God and you family and friends. It's better to wait to share yourselves sexually until after you've said your vows. I pray you and your fiance will consider waiting. God bless you both and may you have many happy years together!
2006-09-03 14:23:52 · answer #5 · answered by celticwoman777 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I've never heard that it's a requirement, and if you're with a guy who says it is, maybe he's not the guy for you. someone ought to be able to commit to you definitely, not just play house for a while.
and I've heard that couples who live together first have higher divorce rates too.
Decide if you love the person enough to marry them. if not, move on. If so, if he returns the feeling, great. If not, cut ties and losses as quickly as possible. no one needs a guy who doesn't love them enough to make up his mind.
2006-09-03 13:56:25 · answer #6 · answered by crystal_sea24 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Depends on the people. I never thought I would live with someone before I get married but because My first marriage failed my fiance and I live together and it is amazing. I think people should.
2006-09-03 13:54:53 · answer #7 · answered by Raineybaby 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Couples who live together to see how it's going to work out.....seldom does.
Couples who get engaged and then live together have a far better chance. They've already made that commitment; the betrothal promise.
To most it is based on principles & religious beliefs whether you live together or not before marriage
2006-09-03 14:08:01 · answer #8 · answered by weddrev 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hmm, it depends on who you ask and if you're ultra conservative. I'm not and am totally glad my husband and I lived together first (about a year and a half). We'd been together for over a year and a half before we got engaged and bought a house. We got married after 2 years of engagement- so almost 4 years of coupledom. You find out things about them you might not know beforehand. Like annoying habits. My husband likes to put can of soda (maybe like one swallow left) in the fridge and insists he'll finish it later. He never does. I broke him of that. He also broke me of my bad habit of not putting away clean laundry right away. We also learned important stuff like how to manage money together when things come up- like when our dryer went kaput and we had to get a new one or when our roof was damaged and we had to hire someone to replace it and file insurance on it (blah blah blah). We had to deal with things like that TOGETHER. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.
2006-09-03 16:19:43 · answer #9 · answered by Phoenixsong 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think that you shoud live together before you get married for the simple fact that you want to know what an average day will be like. How they live. are they messy.
You don't want to find these things out after wards.
2006-09-03 14:04:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋