Have been with the love of my life for 7 yrs and we have a beautiful child togeather.I have never been married and he has we both have children from previous relationships.The truth is i never say anything about marriage for his sake but i am starting to get on and just turned 30 and i am thinking am i gonna be grey and old walking down the aisle.What does every1 think i should do?
2006-09-03 06:15:56 · 17 answers · asked by cowgirl angie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No it's not. Everything has it's own timing. I've been with my husband on and off for years---years. When the time is right the time is right. But don't miss that window of opportunity when it opens. Pray before you do anything or make a decision. Wait for an answer. Ask God to show you in a way that only you would know. Don't listen to people who aren't trying to help you (negativity). I prayed 5 years ago about my husband. I just got a prosposal 3 months ago---I found my Adam...my Boaz!!! All I can say is PRAY and believe God will answer you. Don't listen to your natural senses because they will only confuse you listen to spiritual senses (Holy Spirit) He will never steer you wrong. May God bless you and your husband :)
2006-09-03 06:27:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anoited 1 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Since you've put the cart before the horse, I guess it's a waiting game for you - you decided living together and having a baby out of wedlock was "okay" and obviously he did too, so why do you think he would want marriage? He's not missing anything by not being married; it's really convenient for him. And you have children from previous relationships... interesting. Let's see ..... marriage is not in the cards, you are just going to go from guy to guy making babies all over the place and not giving them the loving legality and security of a two-parent home. Yes, seven years is a long time to wait for a proposal. (I honestly don't mean to be snippy - just from life experience and education I don't know what you have been thinking living your life so loosely....)
2006-09-03 22:07:10 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never said anything about marriage for his sake? What about you and your needs and wants? You know marriage means commitment and commitment is what makes a woman feel safe and valued in the relationship. It's the guy saying honey, I love only you..I'm no longer keeping my options open for something better to come along..you are who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
You have been with him 7 years and believe me sweetie if he doesn't know by now you are "the one" he never will. I suggest you sit him down and tell him you want to get married and why it's important to you. If he says it's just a piece of paper or some other lame excuse..he is commitment phobic and you should run..because he will never give you the security you deserve and need.
And if you do move on..please don't get yourself in this situation again..make it very clear at the start of a relationship that you aren't into casual relationships..commitment and marriage is important to you. Life is to short to waste on a man that doesn't value you.
2006-09-03 20:38:35 · answer #3 · answered by xanadu88 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can always propose to him.
Maybe he hasn't proposed because you two have just became too comfortable. Since you haven' t said anything then maybe he thinks you don't want to and you are happy the way you are.
I mean it is along time to be engaged though.
Maybe he is scard.
If the two of you are happy...maybe you can just ask him.
Another thing is that you are practically married...living the married life an all. So maybe he assumed it wasn't a big deal. Or maybe he dosn't think you guys can afford it.
2006-09-03 14:10:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think its quite long because once your engaged you dont necessarily have to get married right away. So he could of asked and the wedding could be whenever you guys want it to be whether it be 5 months or years from now. It just depends on the people and their financial and stability situations. If you guys have been together for 7 years, somethings alittle fishy about YOU not mentioning marriage to him. You guys should be able to speak to eachother about your feelings openly by now. Im sure he would be just as concerned about whats going on in your mind and heart about this as you are to his feelings. Talk to him about it :)
Good Luck....
2006-09-03 13:51:55 · answer #5 · answered by Fearfully & wonderfully made 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
mate thats a long time...i was with my husband for 13mths b4 we got married we both have children to other relationship ive never was married b4 but he was im 33 and married 4 5years but on the other hand my sister has been with the same guy for 16yrs with 1 child and still not married.its not like the old traditions these days where no sex b4 marriage.good luck
2006-09-03 19:31:45 · answer #6 · answered by shell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me suggest to you that you read a book called "Boundaries". You sound like a person who allows others to do whatever they wish without any "back talk" from you. Speaking from experience, this will not change. After 7 years and apparently no expectations from you for this fellow, you might just bring it up and see what he's thinking. May be he thinks you are perfectly satisfied with the relationship the way it is. Listen sister, thinks won't change without YOU changing FIRST!! Good luck! :)
2006-09-03 13:23:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should wait it out. If the guy is really the love of your life and you really have confidence that a proposal is coming then you should be able to trust in him to come around to proposing. And you said you never say anything about it...you might wanna start hinting around it...so he can kind of get the idea more and jump on it quicker...
2006-09-03 13:21:20 · answer #8 · answered by confused101 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
7 years is a bit long. BUT, you are only 30! all good things take time. and contrary to what society may lead you to believe, you have plenty of time. talk about it with him and see where his head is. trust me, he KNOWS that you are itching to get down that ailse. but maybe he just isn't ready. men like to be "ready" to get married (whatever that means). whereas women, we like to work out the kinks of life together. maybe you guys can have a conversation that will ease his mind about meeting somewhere in the middle. but don't start pressuring him, b/c i am sure he knows that it's about that time...
2006-09-03 16:39:38 · answer #9 · answered by sexy law chick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I left a guy because we dated off and on for 3 or 4 years and he never even asked me to move in...forget waiting around...you need to tell him that you want a commitment (ie marriage) or you are leaving...
2006-09-03 17:57:32 · answer #10 · answered by angelblueyes200 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋