I am going thru a divorce and I started seeing this guy.. It didn't start out that way.. we were just friends in the beginning but then things started happening and about 2 weeks ago he told me he has fallen hard for me? I am going thru a divorce and I don't want to be committed to another relationship just yet!! He knows this and he knows as he puts it "i have oats to sew"... I am really not about all that, but I really don't care if I am in a relationship or not, but I am sure I am in no way shape or form ready to tell him that I love him... I mean I love spending time with him, he always makes me feel good and always makes me laugh and always makes me feel like a very big part of his life, however I don't feel as tho I treat him the same? What do you think is going thru his mind???? I have asked him and he said it don't matter he just wears his feelings on his sleeves and wants me to know how he feels about me? What do you think I should do?
2006-09-03 05:51:41 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i have been married for a little over a year. never divorced. thank God!! before marriage we dated for three and a half years. he started telling me that he loves me about two weeks after dating. i did not start to tell him that i love him until months after dating. i am tell you this because, just because he tells you that he loves you do not mean you have to reciprocate. just have fun and be safe. because your are going through a divorce you have mix emotions and you probably should not get serious too soon. he needs to always be reminded of this. remember men thinks different from us women.
2006-09-03 06:26:52 · answer #1 · answered by sumayyah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't feel bad. Unless you really strung this guy along, it's not his fault that he fell for you.
Tell him how you really feel- that you really love spending time with him. If he is a true friend and he truly cares about you then he will accept your answer. He can't expect you to love him just because he feels strongly about you.
Also, don't worry about what he's thinking. I believe he was telling you the truth- he just wants you to know how he feels. He probably feels a little rejected, but you just came out of a serious relationship and he should know that you're not going to want another relationship right away.
I hope that this helps, and good luck to you!
2006-09-03 06:05:22 · answer #2 · answered by sophie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the second divorced woman I have met who has encountered this. I think that men think divorced women need sexual comfort or they are attracted to the woman who truly doesn't want a relationship (she seems to independent, maybe).
There is nothing wrong with telling him that you love spending time with him and that he is important to you, but with the divorce, you are just not ready for love. It takes time to get over the end of such an important relationship.
It could be that you really know that you will have to get over this on your own and that you yourself are somehow causing this phenomenon. Don't sweat it. You are in a huge state of transition and the only thing that it important is that you take the time you need to nurture and heal yourself. Once you are finally ready to have a relationship, the perfect person will arise for the person you will be on the other side of the transition - you know?
Peace!
2006-09-03 05:59:37 · answer #3 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're better off being friends, you are facing a very difficult time in your life an jumping into a relationship will not help you at all.You need to sit down alone and reassess your life and what your next step is. I have no doubt that this guy might love you, but you are not ready for this. If he wants to sew his wild oats, then he's gotto go. And you need to find a new focus on your life as a single person.
2006-09-03 06:05:01 · answer #4 · answered by Shametria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him the truth and say i'm not ready to be in a realtionship right now. Divorce is hard. Get to know him more, take your time. Good Luck.
2006-09-03 05:57:18 · answer #5 · answered by bluegenie41 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can expect love, sometime it's come to early or to late
if you like him but not fall in love with him, just tell him that you only like to spend time with him but not in a relation that he hope for. he know that you going trough divorce, so you tell him that you don't want to rush to have Any relationship, you only want to be just friend.
if he really in love in you, he will now that love cannot be rush.
i hope you can settle this problem hon
good luck
2006-09-03 06:07:02 · answer #6 · answered by catlovers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how you really feel, that you are not ready for another commitment yet. if he really loves you, then he wont pressure you of saying those words. he will have the patience to wait,if he really means what he said.
2006-09-03 05:54:46 · answer #7 · answered by yiana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Appreciate his feelings for him. But if you are not sure thatyou will end up together....do not give string him along....just as you would not like to be strung along if you loved someone so much
2006-09-03 05:54:43 · answer #8 · answered by KMMM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to the song "Liar" from Henry Rollins and run!
2006-09-03 05:53:13 · answer #9 · answered by .·:*â?¥Â¨Kittyâ?¥.·:*¨ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit putting out and see if he is still in love with you.
2006-09-03 05:55:51 · answer #10 · answered by Grandpa Shark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋