I have just moved in with my partner of 6 months, I am quite a shy person but would say i am talkative, although he keeps saying i dont talk enough and never open up to him ( Ihave moved half way across the country for this guy) am i just being paraniod or is he feeling insecure he is 15 years older than me and admits he is insecure ??
2006-09-03 05:01:00 · 16 answers · asked by ♥ Love Angel Music Baby 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he is insecure- he sais it himself
2006-09-03 05:03:33 · answer #1 · answered by gabby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you think 6 months was a little too soon to moving halfway across the country for someone? It's a little too late now but when you do talk, tell him sincerely what you are thinking and feeling. After all, you all are partners and if something is bothering you, you feel lonely, or have things on your mind, the best thing to do is open up about it. Are you having doubts about the move? He may be insecure but reassure him of your love and let him know that by your moving with him should be sign enough that you love him. Older men tend to feel insecure about certain things and he may have been burned in a previous relationship. Just open up to him and express yourself. Your relationship will be richer for it.
2006-09-03 12:05:58 · answer #2 · answered by Southern Lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its always dodgy moving in with someone who is insecure....it can be even more of a problem if one partner is considerably older than another.
Its quite a chance you took moving halfway across the country to put yourself in this situation.
People with insecurity tendancies ( either men or women..no difference) very rarely make good long term partners. I'm sorry to sound negative but in my professional capacity i am being totally honest with you if i say that in the circumstances you describe in excess of 95% of relationships break apart and most quite acrimoniously. If you stay with him be very careful but dont whatever you do allow his insecurities to stifle your life. If he starts questioning you about where you have been or who you have met while out..thats a very significant warning that all is definitely not well...dont put up with that as it will be only you that sufferes in the long term.
2006-09-03 13:19:40 · answer #3 · answered by Lone Wolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not getting what he thought he would out of you. He wants to feel closer to you, and he is scared you will not like it there. He is afraid of losing you, and probably doesn't believe he is worthy enough to have you. You didn't make him this way.. this stems from his childhood. I'm sure of it. You can try to reassure him, however you can't change the way someone is. A relationship is not a rehabilitation center. Watch out for this one!! If he is insecure, at 6months and a move across the country it doesn't matter what you say to him.. He will not believe you really care about him. Get him a good therapist,... and run don't walk out. Sorry sweety!
2006-09-03 12:08:09 · answer #4 · answered by junebug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
S let me get this straight, you moved half way across the country for a guy who is not only an alcoholic, but he is insecure as well? I'd say that move is not looking to good right about now dear.
2006-09-03 12:11:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope that's all it is but if you made that sort of sacrifice for him then he shouldn't be. I hope he is not just testing you to see what makes you tick. what i mean is testing to see what he can say or do and get away with it. It's just another form of being a bully in my opinion, i hope that's not whats going on. He might be insecure because of the age difference, scared that you will find a much younger stud or something. I think you need to sit down and have a long talk with him about it before it turns worse,...and believe me it will. good luck girl, wish you the best.
2006-09-03 12:18:33 · answer #6 · answered by juslookin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I moved in with my partner a year ago and it took a while for me to feel as if this is home.I Left all my family and friends behind for my new life it`s really hard to begin with because your away from people you have known and grown up with,it takes time.Explain to your partner how your feeling and that it will take time to settle and adjust to an unfamiliar place.Tell him that once you have adjusted things will get better.Moving house is also very stressful,having to get rid or box up personal items that you might not need can also be very hard.I am sure your partner will understand and in time you will relax and become yourself again.Enjoy yourself getting to know your partner and your new place............Good luck.
2006-09-03 12:13:05 · answer #7 · answered by sarah y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
15 years is a lot. You should know his interest by now. Lean something that he enjoys, example. Does he read the paper. you should too and talk about current events, sports, automobile,. etc.. Cook together, sharing recipes.,let him paint your nail and talk beauty. ask him to show you how to change the oil or any thing under the hood. dry him off after a shower, telling him how great he looks.
2006-09-03 12:25:09 · answer #8 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds paranoid that you might not like it once you have moved in with him. that is a natural thing because he wants to impress you and make you happy. Just give it some time and see if it works. Tell him he has nothing to worry about that you just aren't a real talkative person in real life but that it has nothing to do with him. he will be fine once he gets used to you and you to him
2006-09-03 12:05:19 · answer #9 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he is a bit insecure....tell him to lighten up & let things take their own natural course..He sounds like a worrier, I mean he cant force you to open up. Just be yourself & go at your own pace. The age difference will also probably make things a bit harder...
Hope everything works out for you..
2006-09-03 12:09:40 · answer #10 · answered by Irish... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dotn think theres any such thing as a shy talkative person. Only you know if you do actually open up to him.
2006-09-03 12:05:11 · answer #11 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋