any FUNNY JOKES out there????

Question

any good yo mama jokes.Best funny yo mama joke gets 10 points.

Answer 1

yo mama so old, she has a picture of moses in her year book.
yo mama so old, her social security number is 1.

Answer 2

Two priests are off to the showers late one night.

They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.

Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers

He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way.

Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like a statue.

The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.

The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood.

Startled, he drops a bar of soap.

Oh, look says the first nun, it's a soap dispenser.

To test her theory the second nun pulls on his manhood, sure enough he drops the second bar of soap.

Now the third nun decides to have a go.

She pulls once, then twice.

She gives several more tugs, then yells!

Holy Mary, Mother of God - Hand lotion too !

Answer 3

WHICH IS THE BETTER RIDE?

The inventor of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told him, “Since you’ve been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven.”

The motorcycle genius thought about it for a minute. “I want to hang out with God,” he said. St. Peter took the inventor to the Throne Room and introduced him to God. God recognized the Harley inventor and commented, “Okay, so you’re the one who invented Harley motorcycles, eh?! But what’s the big deal about inventing something pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can’t run without a road?!” The Harley inventor was embarrassed. “Excuse me but aren’t you the inventor of woman?” the inventor asked. God said, “Ah, yes.” “Well,” said the inventor, “professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention. There’s too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion. It chatters constantly at high speeds. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust. And, finally, the maintenance costs are outrageous!” “Hmm, you may have some good points there,” replied God.

God went to his supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper. God read the output. “Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed. But according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.”

STIFF LOGIC

Jimmy goes home from school and finds his lolo sitting in the sala without any pants on. So he goes up to his grandpa and says, “Lolo, do you realize that you’re not wearing any pants?” Grandpa replies, “Yes, Jimmy. I do.” Jimmy then says, “Well, why are you outside without any pants on lolo?” Grandpa looks at Jimmy and responds, “Well, Jimmy, yesterday I sat here without a shirt and I got a stiff neck…this is your grandma’s idea.”

Answer 4

LIPREADING:
Researchers tell us that only about 25 percent of what is said can be understood by lipreading.

For example:

Suppose a woman says:
"This place is a mess! C'mon,
You and I need to clean this place up,
Your stuff is lying all over on the floor
and you'll have no clothes to wear tomorrow
unless we do the laundry right now!"

Her lipreading husband will get:
blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!




other way....

DON'T HAVE TO YELL:
I noticed a deaf couple in the library talking to each other, evidently in a heated argument. The wife was getting more upset, using large signs, her husband could see that she was upset. Finally, he took both her hands in his, and signed, "Honey, you don't have to yell, I am not blind!"

Answer 5

A nun is taking a bath and hears a knock on the door. "Who IS it?"
"It's the blind man."
Dripping wet she throws a towel loosely around her waist and throws the door open.
He says, "Nice breasts! Now where do you want these binds hung?"

Oh, yo mama!

Answer 6

1-Bush Visits a Nursing Home

President George W. Bush decides it is time to do some public relations at a local Washington DC nursing home.
The President begins his "tour" down the main hallway and passes by a little old man who doesn't seem to notice him.

Sensing this, President Bush backtracks to the resident and asks, "Do you know who I am?"

The little old man looks up from his walker and says, "No, but if you go to the front desk, they will tell you your name."

2-a little boy
one day a little boy send a letter to santa"send me a sister"
The santa wrote back "send me your mother"

Answer 7

Seeing as i read the question properly... Here's an old one.

Your mum's so dumb she crashed a parked car

Your mum's so fat that everytime she turns around you have another birthday.

Answer 8

Doctor birth day

Patent sick

Doctor put on injection at

Birthday cake...

Answer 9

mm.. i know...try this if you like this one you should choose my answer as the best
Yo momma so stupid, she took a dougnut back to the store because it had a hole in it.
ha ha ha a a a ha ha hah ah ah ahaha ha h ah ahaahahh ah aha ahah

Answer 10

I have a joke

What did the little pony say when it was ill?
I'm a little hoarse today.