help, am I depressed?

Question

I'm 31 and have always been quiet. I find it difficult to sustain a conversation and am uncomfortable around new people. A girl has just split with me after a couple of dates and I think this was one of the main factors. I've also just started a new job and am finding it difficult to relax and chat with new colleagues,and feel like they think I'm a weirdo. Even my friends seem to tolerate my company.
At the moment I also seem to wake up early often and just generally don't feel enthusiastic. Can anyone help me? I'd rather not go down the road of medication.

Answer 1

I agree with you choice with no medication, I too have a problem with depression. What seems to help me the most is meditate on a daily basis and find the joy in everything around you. It's the whole Ying-Yang Factor for every bad there is a good.. Just look for it.

I'm sorry to hear about the girl thing, Next time just be more open with her.. but you should find inner peace before trying a relationship, because if you can't love yourself how can you ever love someone else!!

Best wishes m8 I hope this helps

Answer 2

Sorry to hear that you are feeling down. It certainly sounds like a form of depression. Go and see your doctor and tell him/her how you are feeling. Talking helps, if you find a good listener! You say you have friends, you are lucky!! A good friend will help you and keep you distracted from the darker thoughts that can come with depression. I have been where you are, and worse; The strange thing about depression is that it can come down on you so suddenly, and out of nowhere. You can be surrounded by family and friends, and feel so alone! Try to make the effort to get out and meet people. Do some voluntary work. I know it is hard to keep on giving, when it seems that no-one is returning the love and affection that you need, but the alternative is too scary to think about. Smile, and the whole world smiles with you, cry my friend, and you and I will feel that we are crying alone in the darkness!! Good Luck, I'll be thinking of you. Look after your friends - and hopefully they will stay by you.

Answer 3

I agree, bio feedback can help. Also, stress from a busy life could be affecting your thinking. Try to smile more often. People tolerating your company might be since you are not feeling "happy" and so you may come on as a downer. Do something positive for yourself! Get out into the country and remember how nature makes you feel so small. Something other than your job has to be keeping you going. Do you have hobbies? I bet not because there isn't enough time in your day to do more than come and go. I hope you find something to set a fire inside of you.
Choose to be "happy"....and when asked how you feel...say, "Great"! You have to be the first to believe and then they will believe it too. People like to be around happy people...it is contagious. Sorrow is contagious, too. But people like to avoid it as much as possible.

Answer 4

You know, there are certain things that we HAVE to do, such as eat, sleep, work, pay bills, bathe, ect. Then there are things that we do because we want to such as sports, dating, talking to others, getting on yahoo, chatting, you know, things we don't have to do, but we do for pleasure. Now, I am not sure if you are depressed or if you suffer from a social disorder, but, I always find that if I am feeling bad about myself, I feel better when I am helping someone else. You could donate your time (since you aren't dating) to some form of charity to help out others in need. I promise you that if you are working around the elderly they will get you to talk.. lol. You may not be suffering from any of the above, but you will feel better for helping someone in need and you may find someone more suitable for you to date. No, not the elderly but another volunteer. I am curious to ask if you were an only child or a late baby. This could be very normal if so. At any rate, I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

Depression can occur very easily when you start to look inside yourself for all of the answers. You need a balance of questioning and faith in your life. When you meet someone, start with the assumption that you will have something in common, and ask them questions until you find it (difficult to sustain a conversation). If you find something that you have in common, you will no longer feel like a weirdo. At the same time embrace the fact that you are a weirdo, everybody is, and look for people with the same interests that you have.

The big issue is faith/trust. Don't go into situations assuming that things aren't going to go well. Go into them saying to yourself that it is okay if nobody likes you. You are weird and proud of it. Your mission is to find the other weird people. You already don't feel accepted, embrace it. Have faith that there are other weird people out there who would be interested in the same things you are.


PS - look at how many people have responded to what you said. There are plenty of people out there who would love to talk to you.

Answer 6

I have felt and do feel the same as you.
I wouldn't consider it depression, just that we're very very very very very reserved. You need to look at life as a whole. You need to live life day to day because you never know when it can end.
When you sit back and don't talk you let oppurtunities pass you by. When you get out there and introduce yourself and make friends life seems a whole lot better.
It may seem scary at first, but everybody has faults and the more you think about your own the more visible they'll be.
So in conclusion, just go out there and have fun and stop worrying what people will think or do. Life is too valuable to waste sitting in a corner.

Answer 7

I rather you don't either. Usually what I do when I feel like that, I take a quiet moment to myself and I reflect. I gather up all the things I find wrong in my life and I lay it on the table in my mind, then I gather up all the good things and I lay it on the table as well. I look at them and then I ask myself, what is most important to me? Why am I here on this planet? What difference am I making? Instead of giving myself depressing answers I pull out the positive aspects.

What is most important to me? Me, I don't need anyone to love me because I have enough love of myself to make it through this difficult time. I am strong enough, I am confident and I am top gun.

Why am I here on this planet? Because God saw a higher purpose for my life and He wants me here for a reason.

What difference am I making? I am laying a foundation, making life worthwhile to help someone else in need.

Then you take all the bad things that you laid on the table put it in that spiritual garbage bag and burn it. It's a new beginning baby, only you can decide if you want to move forward. Don't wait on people they will only disappoint you.

Answer 8

i have been down that road after a breakup. didnt want medication either it is very common and you are right to ask for advise. the only way out is yourself. My situation came to a head one day when i had lost a lot of weight i looked in the mirror and cried. But i was the inocent party so i thought why am i punishing myself everyone around me was fed up with my insecurity and that was the turning point for me ive never looked back hope this has helped you and wish you all the best.

Answer 9

Like you I was very quiet and shy,hate talking to people, I have changed over the years due to job, I can be quite chatty now, you don't have to try too hard, just tell people you are a thinker more than a talker, they will not mind, yes you are depressed, you need to take up some hobbies or join a club to meet others like you perhaps?

Answer 10

to Rockinrobin

I do not think you are weird. Because when you go through depression you lose allot of your self esteem and maybe you splitting up you a girl has added to this problem. What you need to do is find someone you can confide in or it that is not possible try going for counselling. I have been though counselling and it has been really good for me

Yogi Yarmouth